The Black Rose
by Arnavi
Summary: Clarissa had never believed in vampires until she was turned into one herself. Nurtured by the Cullens and the among strongest vampires to exist,manipulated by the Volturi to be a member of their coven, she finds love in their secret weapon - Alec Volturi
1. Prologue

_Hello everyone!_

_This is my second attempt at writing a fanfic. I have done so for the Vampire Diaries once before. I happened to find this story on my desktop today only realizing that I hadn't uploaded it before, so here it is. Also, since I have almost finished this story, I assure you that the updates are going to be very quick!_

_I wrote this one back when I used to be a huge fan of twilight and although i don't quite agree with a few concepts in the book, I do love Alec as a character. I always thought his was a character that wasn't explored much and there had to be more about him - a lot more. _

_Also, in this story, I do have a slight modification to Alec - He is 20 years of age, Jane remains 14. Although they were supposed to be twins, I couldn't have them so. They do however have a very striking resemblance, as expected._

_As for this story, I shall leave you with a summary to provide with the background. I hope you do share all your love with me by way of your reviews, tags and alerts. The twilight community is among the most active and among the biggest after all! So here goes -_

_**Summary -**_

Clarissa was just another teenager enjoying a night at camp with her friends, blissfully unaware of the secret existence of the world of the immortals. When she is turned and abandoned by her maker, she finds shelter, love and affection among the Cullen family. The only thing that they don't know is that they infact nurture one of the most powerful immortals every to walk the earth, only matched by the likes of the three heads of the Volturi. Lured, betrayed, captured and tortured by the Volturi, she plots and conspires to head back to those she called family - the Cullens. The only thing that hadn't been planned was finding love in the way - Love in the most unusual circumstances and the last person to have been thought to be capable of love - the heartless, indifferent, arrogant and cruel Alec Volturi.

_**I own nothing with regard to Twilight, as we all know - it is the property of Mrs. Meyer. All I own is my OC and the plot.**_

Happy Reading! :)

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><p><em><strong>PROLOGUE:<strong>_

"Claire, over here." Ana called me.

The cold night air had an eerie feel to it tonight and for some strange reason, I was unsure if camping in the woods was a good idea. I walked over to my friend, nonetheless.

"Are you okay? You look like the dead." I could feel the tiny beads of sweat on my forehead and the unusual giddy sensation in the pits of my stomach. I must have looked pale. Nervousness did that to me very often, making me look like a ghost.

"Hmm." I acknowledged, helping her set up the tent in the clearing for the night.

Liam burned the cracking wood we had gathered to provide for the only luminous source of light apart from the dark night sky which shadowed a feeling a aloofness without the moon. It felt ominous.

He smiled at me when he caught me staring. Obviously, he had the wrong impression, but I had other things to bother about – like the constant suspicious movement in the bushes not too far away from the clearing we camped.

"Come on over." He called to me, trying to warm the frozen sausages we had carried with ourselves for food. I sat beside him.

"Are you sure this place is safe?" I questioned, looking around. I couldn't spot another soul around us. Assuming that they were all in their respective tents or had gone to pick something edible from the wild trees in the vicinity, I convinced myself that I was being nothing but paranoid. He smiled at me charmingly, handing me the sausage. My hands were cold and shaking. He held them, spreading the warmth radiating from his body. I felt secure, momentarily. His aura of confidence was contagious.

"Eat. I'll get the others." He winked at me before leaving.

Twenty minutes had passed and I hadn't been aware. The night had only grown darker, quieter and creepier. I wondered where my friends were and decided to check on them myself. I walked over to the tent I was sharing with Ana. The abominable sight sent a chill down my spine.

Her mangled body lay on the bedding in a pool of blood. Her lifeless corpse looked pale, bloodless, ghastly. I was mortally terrified upon noticing the wound on her neck. It looked like an animal, only it was too precise. In the shadow of our tent, the silhouette of a human feeding off another human was reflected for a short second and then it was gone.

Too scared to even utter a word, I ran from the camp site as fast as my legs could carry me in a direction I did not know. The darkness showed me my weakness – my eye sight was only upto human ability after all. I couldn't have noticed the small dent in the earth before me and I fell.

The next thing I knew was, the animal's teeth were sinking into my neck, a nauseating feeling engulfing through my body as I felt my energy, my life drain out of me. I succumbed to the darkness.

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><p><p>

_Reviews would make my day and it only takes a minute._

_Please do be generous so that I can update quickly!_

_Much love,_

_Arnavi :)_


	2. Encounter

_Thank you so much for reviewing, tagging and alerts everyone! I've achieved what I had aimed for to update with the next chapter. The number of visitors and hits have been absolutely brilliant! :)_

_Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. I won't be rushing into things, this is a rather gradual story so that we understand the OC and Alec's relationship better :)  
><em>

_Happy Reading! :)_

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><p><em>No one knows whether death, which people fear to be the greatest evil, may not be the greatest good. – <em>_**Plato**_

**CHAPTER 1:**

**Edward [POV]**

_**Fate has something planned for everyone. They say whatever happens, happens for good, but how can something happen for the good when it stands against the very laws of nature? How can it be good when you defy nature? How can it be good, when you know, you are not meant to be? When you do not want to be what you are.**_

It had been weeks since we had hunted last. And probably months before my last hunting trip with Bella. The stars were shining down on us and fate had bestowed its good fortune upon us as I had finally gotten a chance to go hunting with my wife, my Bella. Since both of us had wanted to spend time with our darling daughter - Renesmee who was now the light of our lives, we had decided to keep it short and hunt in the grounds near by, although it wasn't quite to Bella's satisfaction considering she was only a few years old as a vampire. It lacked variety - as she had put it.

"Could we go further?" her chime-like ringing voice sounded from behind me. I turned around to look at her as she stood there, the bottom of her dress a little tattered and her hair tousled due to her incessant wrestling with animals. She was cringing her nose.

"Sure love, would you like to cross over to Canada?" I asked, smirking, knowing fully well that we wouldn't make it back home the same day if we gave into our temptation of spending too much time with each other. These years, it seemed practically impossible to resist Bella. Ever since her transformation, and the horrendous incident with the Volturi, we never left each other's side. It seemed like we needed each other, we completed each other and our only safety was with each other.

"Edward, you have got to stop that. You know Nessie will be waiting for us at home." she said, instantly at my side, skimming her soft, cool lips at the edge of my jaw, breathing in my scent.

I held her face up with a finger which bought us eye to eye and looked into her beautiful eyes. They weren't the deep red they had been, anymore. Instead they had changed into an uncanny shade of crimson and light orange. The animal blood was definitely doing wonders to her eyes and I'm sure she must have been pleased.

She edged closer, encouraging me to diminish the space between us and slowly pecked at the bottom of my lips - an invitation that was simply irresistible. At that very moment, all my calm and compose was shattered and the familiar guttural sensation got the better of me. Desire, wild coursed through my veins as I held her by the waist and crushed my lips onto hers. She didn't seem to refrain instead her body only reacted with an enthusiasm which matched my own as we started falling to the ground.

"Renesmee…" I reminded her, after a few moments. Just that one word was enough to bring her back to reality from our state of ecstasy.

"Yes Renesmee." She said, finally standing up in a swift movement and pulling me along with her, letting out a small sigh.

"You still can't beat me, can you?" I smirked at her, bending into a crouch, preparing for a sprint, knowing how much she loved challenges now that she had been turned into an immortal. She enjoyed every single minute of it, and it was evident on her face.

"Well, we'll see now Mr. Cullen." She replied, mimicking my posture.

"Alright then Mrs. Cullen. At the count of three… one… two…"

"Three…." And saying those last few words, she rocketed into the dense green woods, her musical laughter echoing through out the forest. I was at her side in a matter of a few seconds.

Suddenly, Bella came to a stand still as I zoomed past her. I was confused regarding her sudden halt. And then I understood. I hurried my way back to her. Her face was guarded, eyes black with craving for the delicious scent of human blood that filled the air surrounding us.

"Bella… love… you might want to leave right now." I encouraged her as she hissed at me. I knew what it was like for a newborn vampire to resist human blood. I remembered my days as a newborn.

Oh! The agony.

But I also knew that Bella would never forgive herself if she'd hurt a human. She'd live with regret and agony with the rest of her existence.

"Its okay Edward, I think I can handle it." She muttered under her breath.

"Are you sure?" I asked one last time, edging closer to her, caressing her cheek with my palm, knowing that it would soothe her.

"Yes, but something smells off about it." She muttered again, holding her breath. This confused me. I tried to be more aware of my surroundings and at once sniffed some air that engulfed us.

It was a strange sort of scent, the smell of human blood, evident and clearly it was in huge proportion but it also smelled like something else - some thing that smelt like us, the scent of vampires… the smell of venom. My eyes widened as realisation struck me and I looked over at Bella who now had a look of frightened concern in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, pulling me on the shoulder.

Once again, I breathed in a little air to make sure it wasn't a figment of my imagination. This time we both heard the whimpering of a female. A be not more than sixteen or seventeen at the most.

We looked at each other for a while, deciding what our next course of action would be.

Bella nodded once, knowing that I wanted to have a look at the unfortunate lady who lay in the woods, bleeding, unaware of the presence of vampires. I wondered why she smelt like that - smell of vampire venom. Who was she?

As we approached the wounded human, the scent only grew stronger and the whimpering now turned into loud gasps and sighs of agony that echoed the desolate woods. Bella and I held our breath as we reached the creek, where the scent was the strongest and what we saw there, shocked us both.…

We found the mangled body of a girl, lying in a pool of blood. She was bleeding in several places while it could be seen that some others were healing. Was it possible that she was transforming into one of us?

No, I quickly shoved that thought aside, that couldn't be. But what else would explain the smell of venom from her blood, and the healing process? I had seen it myself, firsthand when I had transformed Bella myself. But that seemed to be the only possible explanation. All the facts were indicating towards it.

Bella's eyes were worried as she looked over at the girl. From her still form, I could say she wasn't breathing. She momentarily skipped to the other end of the creek and sat on the edge where the girl's head lay, running her hands through her hair gently. It shocked me how she had managed to gather enough resolve to do so. I being a century old couldn't even think of going to the close vicinity of this human and she was literally in close contact.

I hissed at Bella, unknowingly which seemed to break her away from her train of thought as she looked up at me.

I heard her thoughts as she struggled with her shield to allow me access to her complicated and intriguing mind.

'_Lets take her home Edward_.' She thought.

My eyes widened with surprise as I heard those words and looked up at her again.

"Edward, listen to me, it looks like she is one of us. Let's help her Edward. Shes dying. Look at her!"

Her thoughts puzzled me as I was caught in a mental dilemma, deciding whether to help this strange girl or leave her there.

'_Edward, please.'_ Bella's pleading voice came through my mind again. I looked once in her direction and simply nodded as she smiled weakly.

I carefully picked up the girl's withered body from the pool of blood and the mud that it rested on and caught her safely in my arms and we set off into a sprint towards our house. Through out the way, I had only thought in my mind… who was she? What was she doing there? And most importantly what was she?

Bella kept pace with me as we hurried home.

We had decided to help the girl against my better judgement, not knowing what lay in the future. When I had tried to read her mind, all I could hear was fear, pain, burning and intense agony. Everything else was dark.

"Edward, Bella!" Alice's frightened voice called from inside before we could even make our way into the house.

Of course she had seen this coming. What else had she seen coming? I tried to read her mind but couldn't perceive, the visions kept changing and a pair of deep red eyes kept staring back at me every time I tried.

We hurried inside to see everyone sitting around the table, worry covering their faces as they saw the human in my arms. Jasper's jaw clenched and he instantly left the room with Emmett and Rosalie soon following him.

"Oh my! Poor girl! What happened to her?" Esme cried as she skipped to my side.

"We don't know yet." I muttered.

"Lets take her upstairs first, we can talk later son." Carlisle spoke before any of us would divulge into our interrogations.

We carried her into an empty room in our mansion. I lay her on the bed, while the blood dripping from her hair and her clothes stained the sheets and the mattress of the bed. We'd have to burn them later.

"I better go get some water to clean her up." Bella hurried out the door and Esme followed her.

Once we set her down, Carlisle spoke concerned, "Son, where did you find her?"

I looked once at him and then at Alice and then narrated them how we came upon her.

"Who is she?" he encouraged.

"I don't know. I couldn't perceive anything. All I could read was pain, suffering, agony and burning. I believe she is in her mid-transformation." I said, looking back at the girl who lay on the bed, her scars were healing now, she looked almost healed… almost.

"Edward, I see her as one of us." Alice shook me out of my reverie.

"Who could have been so horrible to abandon her mid-transformation?" She sighed, hanging her head down. I'm sure she understood it too well; she had been through worse after all. At least all of us had someone when we were transformed, but Alice and Carlisle had had no one.

We all turned our gazes on the girl who now laid snivelling, and twitching in pain as the burning sensation in her body consumed her. I could only sense immense pain which was the only thing that crossed her mind.

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><p><em>Please do review! I'm waiting to update the next chapter! and it all depends on your reviews :)<em>

_Much love,_

_Arnavi :) _


	3. Identity

_Hello again everyone!_

_I'd really like to thank you again for the sparing reviews, the massive subscription alerts and tags and the even more massive number of hits! Numbers do make me happy :D_

_As promised, I come with the update to the story. I hope you enjoy it!_

_Happy Reading :)_

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><p><em>Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. - <em>_**Isaac Asimov**__  
><em>

**CHAPTER 2:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**Never does one think of death until the inevitable seems to be lingering around the corner. I certainly had not either. Why, I was just an average seventeen year old trying to live her life, never once realising that these could possibly be the last moments to relish of my human life… and then, my heart would cease t**_**o **_**beat.**_

Burning - the sensation one fears - one of intense agony.

Trepidation - the grounds that no one wants to tread upon.

Confusion - the one thought that leaves us disoriented.

Anger - the over powering and dangerous emotion that should be kept in control.

Alive - something that I shouldn't have felt.

I was vaguely aware of the thoughts coursing through my mind as I felt my body being consumed in fire. It felt like someone was burning me, or that I was probably caught in a burning house, but then again, I would have smelled smoke if that were the case. I only smelled delicious scents that lingered around in the room.

All my thoughts were now directed to those five words that had roamed my mind unflustered since the last… few minutes, hours, or days may be? I couldn't recollect.

I tried focusing and channelizing my thoughts in a particular direction. Much to my dismay, I couldn't remember anything. Instead, I turned my focus on my surrounding. A car passed by in the roads, somewhere distant, and I could hear the animated banter of a young couple who were travelling in it presumably. It felt like I was standing right in front of them, but only… I wasn't.

**Confusion.**

Another jolt of agony shot through my muscles and I could sense myself convulsing in pain. I tried desperately to rectify my posture, assuming that I was sleeping in the wrong posture as mom had once said.

Mom! Where was mom? Where was I? Instantly I felt insecure, unprotected, and vulnerable. It felt like an infant, always needing the protection of the safe haven that rested in their mother's arms.

**Trepidation.**

An unfamiliar scorching sensation ripped through my throat, sending me into a state of dizziness. My mind couldn't comprehend what it was. I was writhing in agony, I was….

**Burning.**

One last effort. I had to try to fight for my survival. I could feel it, I knew I was on a sinking ship and that no one but myself would come to my rescue. Once again, I stressed my mind into thinking the events that had coursed before…. Before?

Blurred images - one of a man, a very attractive black haired man. Dark woods - camp fire - screaming and then, darkness. I stressed my mind more into thinking but nothing came of it. I was frustrated, but wasn't tired as I should have felt. It infuriated me.

**Anger.**

I kept my breathing steady, trying to count the number of breaths every time I took one in.

"She'll be up in five." I heard the voice of a lady in the periphery of my mind.

"Edward?" a man this time.

"She is unsettled… and a little… panicky." Another man replied.

Who was he and who was the other lady? I thought to myself. I should have known where I was, and how did this man know if I was unsettled?

Cool breeze suddenly brushed through my face, sifting my hair and enhancing the smell of rosewood and oak. It was overwhelming. It felt like someone was breathing life into me.

**Alive.**

'_I hope she'll take the news calmly.'_

'_I wonder what happened to her. How did she turn into one of us?'_

'_We'll have to do everything in our power to make her feel at home.'_

'_Shes going to be a great friend!'_

'_Who did this to her?'_

'_She is lost.'_

I could hear several voices in my head, all distinct and yet unfamiliar. Concentrating harder only made it worse. They were now muddled together.

I couldn't comprehend what they were talking about. Why couldn't I locate my mother, my father, or even my brother for that matter? I wondered where my family was and how I had come to where I was at the moment… I was in an unknown territory.

I finally, opened my eyes with what seemed to be a great effort as light entered my previously dark world. I could feel my pupils dilate to adjust to the intensity of the bright light. I was staring at the ceiling of what looked like a house and held my gaze for what seemed to be an immeasurable amount of time until a voice broke me away from my train of thought.

"Hello." A man said, causing me to jump slightly. This was the same voice I had heard in my mind before. I looked up at him, only to realise that I was now crouching like a predator, in a position of self defence. He simply smiled back at me warmly.

It was then that I first saw them. The eight of them. They were glorious, almost angelic when it came to beauty. Each one stood out from the other but yet looked alike. All of them had the same pale skin, golden eyes - save one.

"We don't mean any harm." The boy with the bronze hair said, slowly edging forward, taking cautious steps. I heard someone hiss and later realised, that it had escaped from my mouth.

A wave of calm spread through me, unexpectedly. It felt like some one was controlling me as if I were merely their puppet.

"Who are you?" I carefully chose my words and was alarmed to hear the voice. This wasn't my voice. I couldn't fathom having a chime-like voice.

'_Oh dear, how will we explain it to her.'_ The bronze haired boy thought.

"Explain what to me?" I stated, once again, the sound of my voice, silencing me.

They stared at me wide eyed.

"Let's start by introducing ourselves." The blond man said.

"I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen that is my wife Esme." He signalled towards a lady with caramel hair, petite frame and smiling face. She smiled at me weakly, reminding me of my mother.

"That is my son Edward, and his wife Bella." He now signalled towards the bronze haired boy who had spoken to me before. Standing next to him was a gorgeous looking brunette lady who looked at me, concerned.

"My daughter Alice, and her husband Jasper." The doctor continued, signalling towards a short lady, about five feet five inches in height, at most. She leaned on a tall blond man with ruffled hair, both of them smiling at me.

"And lastly, my son Emmett and his wife Rosalie." I looked at the tall muscular man with curly brown hair and the blonde haired beauty next to him. The man was smiling while the lady stood there…. sceptical.

'_I wonder how she'll digest the fact.'_ She thought.

"What fact?" I asked instantly looking in her direction, only realising later that she hadn't said it aloud. Although this made me wonder how I had heard her if she hadn't spoken her thoughts.

"She can read minds like me." The bronze haired boy - Edward now spoke, leaving me even more baffled than before.

"Who are you darling?" the doctor encouraged. Why was he being so kind to me, I couldn't fathom.

"I'm Clarissa Bernard." I replied after straining my head for memories.

"Well then welcome to the house Clarissa." The doctor smiled.

"Where are my parents? Who are you all? What am I doing here? How long have I been here?" I felt muffled sobs erupt in my chest, but not a single tear escaped my eyes. My eyes did not even feel watery but a sudden grief engulfed my chest, threatening to tear me apart.

"We don't know Clarissa." He replied.

I caught a glance of a girl with long curly black hair, pale skin and an angular face in the mirror. She looked absolutely breath taking and around my age. I searched the room for her but found her no where. I made my way towards the mirror slowly and so did the girl in the mirror. As I got closer and closer I noticed the colour of her eyes. They were blood red.

I looked at the mirror again, only to see the girl in the mirror mimicking my actions and it didn't take me long to realise. Much to my horror, I was seeing my very face in the mirror. The girl was me.

This isn't me.

This cannot be me.

I am not the one in the mirror.

I backed away from the mirror only to find myself at the farthest corner of the room within a matter of a fraction of a second.

It puzzled me to think how I had done that. I didn't remember passing the table, or the stairway as I made my way to this corner. I was disoriented. I couldn't fathom the course of actions in my surroundings.

What had I become?

I had changed, certainly.

Who were these people?

I sunk to the floor as muffled sobs escaped my chest, once again, leaving my eyes tearless. Esme hurried to my side, but I refused to be touched. I refused to accept everything I was witnessing at this moment.

"What have you done to me? Why did you do this to me?" I cried out in disgust and anger, my words accusing.

"Clarissa, let us explain." The doctor encouraged, despite that my temper flared, I heard myself growl at him.

"I don't even know what I am. You have changed me into some red eyed monster, you have snatched me away from my family. In fact I don't even remember my family, I cannot recollect anything. Anything at all. All I remember is just my name. What have you done to me? What am I?" I whined again.

A long silence engulfed all of us. No one moved from their position. They all stood transfixed. After what seemed like a long pause, Edward told me that truth which sent my world shattering to a million pieces like a shattered glass when hit by a hard object.

"A vampire." He said in a low voice.

This had to be some kind of ridiculous joke. I knew things like that sounded brilliant in movies played by poorly portrayed actors and books that never satisfied one's mind. Sure Bram Stroker was an exception but that was exactly where it ended – at imagination.

"I'm not going to believe that." I stood my ground, stubborn as I was, I would never budge to their feigned friendliness. Had they meant no harm, they'd have called my parents and helped me return home.

"Clarissa we found you in the woods three days before." Bella spoke this time. Her musical voice echoed in the crowded room. My eyes shifted to her still form. It looked like she was reliving a horror movie.

"Your body lay in a pool of blood as Edward and I found you. Your creator had abandoned you mid-transformation. I can assure you that we only want to help you." she continued.

I wanted so badly to believe every word that escaped her mouth, but none of it really made much sense to me. Vampires were mythical creatures after all. I wondered if they really thought I was some naïve school girl, who'd believe everything she was told.

"If you found me then why didn't you call the police? Every normal person would have. Definitely you mean harm, else I wouldn't be here." I said in a rather acerbic tone now, infuriated as I was, it didn't help me to mind my manners this time around.

"It's not that simple." The short black haired lady sighed from behind me.

"Explain it to me." I stressed.

"Darling, we are sorry for what happened to you. I know it must be very disorienting for you right now to think rationally and you probably think us to be monsters. All we would wish for you to know is, we are here for you and we would do everything that is in our power to help you Clarissa. Please do not hesitate to ask. We only want to love you as family." The doctor's sweet words hurt me even more. They had separated me from my family, turned me into a so called 'vampire' and now showed fake friendliness. I wondered at the preposterousness of life.

"Leave. Me. Alone. I want you all to leave, right now." I stressed each syllable making it known that I wanted to be alone. I would have to find my way out of this hell hole. I knew that they were lying, every single one of them.

One after another, they silently exited the room. The last thought I heard as they left was one that startled me. It came from the doctor's beautiful wife Esme - _'We love you and hate to see you suffer.'_ She thought, and then left.

As soon as I was left to myself, I once again settled into the corner of the room, curling up myself into a ball, allowing the tears to escape my eyes as I cried muffled dry sobs. The tears never came. Why didn't they ever come? I imagined the possibility of being a vampire. It was ludicrous, but that seemed the only explanation to the uncanny actions that had coursed in the past one hour.

How else could one explain, reading someone's mind, moving at inhuman speed, attaining inhuman beauty and most importantly hideous red eyes? My mind raced as I fought the urge to accept the truth.

I was now indeed a 'Vampire'. I winced at the very thought of being one. This changed things - a lot. I felt the familiar burn, consuming my throat once again and Japer and Alice, boomed through my door despite my ignoring.

"You need to hunt." Jasper stated.

"I thought I made my intentions clear. Go away!" I screamed at them.

"Clarissa, let us help you. Please." Alice pleaded. The last thing I needed was their sympathy, No! I was strong enough to care for myself, or so I thought.

"We're waiting down stair, whenever you'd like to…" Jasper trailed off, leaving the room at once while Alice stayed behind.

She made her way towards me gracefully and sat beside me, separating us by a distance of two feet.

"What do you want?" I snapped at her, after not having heard her speak. It annoyed me when people stared at me like that.

"You are a nice person Clarissa. I just wish, you could, I mean… I know you deserve so much more…" she let out a heavy sigh.

'_Just give life a try Clarissa. That's all I'm asking. Just one shot.'_ She thought.

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><p><em>Please do be generous with your reviews. I'm in desperate need of it! Pls pls pls! :)<em>

_Much love,_

_Arnavi :) _


	4. Chance

_Hello again people!_

_The number of story alerts and favorite story tags that I'm getting are making my mind fly! A few good reviews to go with it would be even better!_

_A huge thanks to **NagasMythReality, You Cant Rush Science, I love birdwing and Scourge** for all the reviews so far! :)_

_Here is the next chapter. Lets see how Clarissa does in your scorebook! Do let me know._

_Happy Reading :)_

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><p><em>How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees. – <em>_**William Shakespeare.**_

**CHAPTER 3:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**They say it is easier to live once you submit yourself to fate, but what if fate itself is unsure of your future? What if things aren't what they seem? Do you still submit to fate? - Probably not.**_

In my efforts to end my impossible existence, I had tried every trick in the bag. Cutting my wrists wouldn't work – it would only break the sharp metal that struck my skin into two. My skin was hard and impenetrabe like diamonds. When nothing seemed to work, I decided to starve myself until I would cease to exist. I had tried to burn myself in the sunlight, reading from the vampire novels, but much to my annoyance, the glasses in the house were tinted.

Everyone had tried their level best, I could say to persuade me to be rational. I wondered what they meant by rational. Did it mean to accept something that was mythical? Or did it mean to surrender to the lie that I was living?

The doctor and his wife Esme had tried to appease me by being kind enough to strike a conversation with me, but I made it a point to shatter their hopes each time. I knew I was being stubborn and obstinate, but I couldn't think anything rationally. Sadness was evident on their face everytime I said hauled harsh words at them. If Esme could cry, she probably would have. I regretted every word that escaped my mouth whenever they left.

Edward and Bella had also tried to help me by thinking 'positive' things. Edward was especially persuasive and kept pleading with me to hunt before I grew too weak. I secretly wished I would, at least it would help me die of being drained of blood.

Alice, Jasper and Emmett never seemed to give up. Alice would sit with me for hours everyday silently, and it only annoyed me further. From what I could gather, Jasper had the uncanny ability to manipulate the emotions of those around him. Although if he tried to calm me, I simply decided to avoid him.

Emmett looked at me sadly and never ceased to give me an impish smile whenever he passed my window or entered my room. He chose not to commuincate through words – only signs and smiles, which were never reciprocated.

Along with all the others, I picked up two new scents that lingered in this house. One belonged to something like a dog and I must admit, it smelt awful. The other however smelled… different. It wasn't something I had ever come across before. She smelled of blood but at the same time, I couldn't really feel the scorching in my throat. From what I could gather from people's thoughts, she was Edward and Bella's daughter - Renesmee.

In the last week I had heard the intense argument between someone I did not know and my 'so called' family.

"How could you be so careless? Do you even know what a threat she might be for Nessie?" the man yelled.

"Oh we all know she's not the one who is the biggest threat to Nessie." Rosalie said sarcastically.

I was amazed. It was the first time that I had heard Rosalie speak. She had always been hostile and cold to me. Even her thoughts puzzled me. Sometimes they were full of pity and sometimes, they were full of... angst? And now she was supporting me?

"Oh just shut up blondie." He yelled at her.

"Why should I, you _mutt!_" I could feel her tempers flare and certainly I could see which way this argument was headed to. The last thing I wanted was a fight over me.

"Jacob, we are well aware. I'm sure we can contain her." Edward replied flatly and I silently thanked him for intervening.

"Is that really what you think? Or do you forget that your daughter is still half-human. Blood still runs through her veins." He yelled back again.

The last sentence that escaped his mouth caught my attention and my head instantly snapped up, only intensifying the scroching in my throat that I had been trying to supress so desperately. Unknowingly, I hissed at the word 'Blood'. The pain only intensified.

Emmett and Alice were instantly at my side, looking at me concerned. I looked up at them and then returned to look into the burning logs in the fire place. They eventually left me to my pitiful condition.

I couldn't remember the last time I had spoken to anyone in this very house. Infact honestly, I didn't want to speak to anyone. I wanted to know that they were only pretending to help me, hoping that I would find their ulterior motive eventually. My efforts were all in vain. Although I tried to 'read' everyone's minds, I was met with nothing but sincerity.

It frustrated me.

Weeks passed by as I sat in my miserable corner near the fire place. I was hoping my presence wouldn't be felt by them anymore, but I was only too wrong. Worry constantly crossed their minds. Jasper kept trying to make me feel happy but I always made him feel the opposite of whatever he wanted me to feel, only inflicting more pain on myself, although he never gave up and kept trying unrelentingly each time.

If there was something that I constantly kept thinking about, it was my family. I could only remember very blurred images of my mother and my father. I couldn't remember what my house looked like, what my brother's face looked like. They were all begining to 'fade' as Carlisle had put it. I clung to them desperately, not wanting to ever let go.

Through everyone's minds I could see all of them sharing the moments of a happy family. It made me smile, but brought more bad memories than good. I could vaguely remember family dinners with my family. My father, brother and I sat around the table, eating as mom brought in more delicious food. I could remember my brother and me playing pasta fight while mom worried about her white table cloth. I wondered where my parents were, did they even know where I was? Did they know what I was or had they simply thought I was no more? I wondered if they were looking for me and pondered over the consequences when they'd find out about what I had become.

Another sob escaped my chest thinking those thoughts. They had been punishing me from the past few weeks.

Within moments, Edward was wrenching me out from my safe corner and leading me to the front porch. His grip was iron hard and despite my best efforts, I couldn't free myself.

"You need to stop torturing yourself Clarissa. I've had enough. We are going hunting right now, you like it or not." He stated rather sternly and for once I felt scared. Tears would have rolled down my face had that been possible. I felt weak, exposed, and vulnerable.

Just then, Edward pulled me into a hug and I didn't know what to do. I became stiff and did not move. Everyone had only been so cautious. It was probably the first time I was in physical contact with anyone. From the periphery of my vision, I could see Bella smile.

'_I'm glad Edward is helping her. She couldn't have someone better.'_ Her thoughts were wrapped in a coating of affection, warmth and respect for her husband.

"You silly girl, no one is avoiding you. Clarissa, we are here for you. It's confusing, I know. Give us a chance to set things right for you. Whoever it is who did this to you, we don't know, but we're hoping to help you live once again Clarissa. Don't try to retreat from your chance at life." Edward encouraged taking my face between his big palms. I'm sure he could read my dejected thoughts.

I sobbed hard into his chest; I desperately craved for the sheltering arms of my brother.

'_I could be a brother to you, if you'd like.' _Edward thought, a little smug.

"Really?" I asked him, desperate to hear what I wanted to hear.

"If that's what you want." He whispered, patting me on my head as I rested my head on his chest and silently thanked him.

"Any time sister." He smiled.

"Does that mean I can buy you clothes and help you assemble your wardrobe?" Alice instantly skipped to our side with an enthusiasm so intense that it threw me off gaurd. I could literally feel the energy bubbling from her.

"How do you do that?" Jasper asked, eyeing me curiously.

"Any way, let's go teach you to wrestle irritable grizzlies now." Emmett boomed from one end of the room picking me up in his arms, surprising me completely. He laughed unashamed as I squeaked in surprise. I could see Edward roll his eyes and follow us out the door, while the others only laughed and giggled in the house. It amazed me how they had accepted me warmly into their family, only waiting for my willingness. I felt like I owed them the due respect they had deserved from all these weeks.

"We are running?" I asked incredulous as Emmett bent into a crouch.

"Yea, of course. You wouldn't take a car to hunt when you got the required weapons and artillery right?" Emmett laughed leaving me confused.

"Weapons and artillery? What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to understand, realising how new this truly was.

"Running comes naturally when you are an immortal. Just follow Emmett. I'll follow behind you." Edward explained and I simply nodded as Emmett shot like a rocket into the dark green woods. Although he was miles away, my eyes could see his figure clearly. The run was exhilarating. I hadn't felt so good in a while. I wanted to keep running, keep feeling the cool air run through my hair, splash across my face.

In a few minutes we were in the middle of a clearing. Emmett stood there, motionless sniffing the air around him for a while and then a sly grin spread over his face.

"Smell that little sister?" he said as if having a sinister agenda.

"Smell what?"

"Pay attention Clarissa, do you smell it? Try to concentrate. They are near the river banks." Edward encouraged.

I tried to concentrate and locate what they wanted me to locate, but that is exactly where the problem lay. I did not know what they wanted me to locate.

'_Blood Clarissa, Animals.'_ Edward emphasized.

The familiar ache returned, my body craved for it, my eyes burned but my mind was confused.

"Aren't vampires supposed to hunt humans? I mean... at least that's what they show on TV..." I trailed off feeling slightly embarassed.

'_What kind of a vampire am I? I don't even know what we drink or hunt.'_ I thought to myself.

Emmett burst out laughing much to my embarassment while Edward only patiently waited for me to look at him again. I wondered where he had got his reserve of patience from. His patience really did amaze me at times.

"Well, we are slightly different. We survive on animals. As of now, I think much of information will do. I think you're pretty thirsty as of now. Let's go hunt." His answer was short and curt – as always.

'_Just give youself over to your instincts.' _He thought.

I breathed the air around me until I could smell the delicious musky scent. They were probably a herd of deer. I could hear as their tongues lapped the water near the rivers. My thirst overpowered my reasoning and I shot like a missle in their direction.

The last thing I remember was that I was pounching on a helpless animal which looked scared as if something had attacked it out of the blue. I fed on animal blood for as long as I could, as long as I felt satiated. As my mind finally snapped back, out of my ecstasy for blood, I looked at my clothes and my surroundings and felt like a devil.

I had savegly massacred the entire herd. I could see at least twelve dead deers, drained of blood lying on the ground in front of me. The sleeves of my shirt were tattered and my denim pants were stained red with blood – animal blood. I was appalled by the very sight.

"It's okay little one. It's always like that the first time." Emmett emerged out of the woods, his shirt equally tattered. It looked like he had been wrestling irritable grizzlies indeed.

"I feel horrible." I whined, looking at the destruction.

"Had you hunted earlier, I'm sure we could have limited that to three or four may be." He was instantly at my side, trying to comfort me.

"Looks like someone is full." Edward whispered from somewhere inside the woods. I couldn't locate him, but my ears could hear the fainstest of the sounds. Well there were some perks to being a vampire at least, I thought. I heard Edward chuckle. Sure he had heard my thoughts. He finally emerged from the woods. It looked like he hadn't hunted at all.

"You didn't hunt?" I asked, rather confused.

"As a matter of fact I did. I'm done." He said smiling; now standing in front of us.

"No, that's not possible. Your clothes are spotless and... and... and you don't look shabby like the two of us." I said in a little voice, embarrased as I was.

"Show off." Emmett muttered under his breath.

"Well, you call it practise. I'm sure you'll get better..." he said, and turned to look at the bodies of the deers in front of us – all devoid of blood. "And more controlled in the future." He concluded, eyeing them. If blood would still be running through my veins, I would probably be blushing beetroot red, but I couldn't feel the heat under my skin, I couldn't feel my heart flutter like a bird. Maybe it had stopped beating all together.

"Remind me to teach you hunt bears next time." Emmett enthused while I shuddered. Bears! I couldn't even imagine wrestling against that big ball of fur. The only acquainance I had with bears were the teddies I had got as birthday presents when I was a little girl.

Edward laughed again. This was getting annoying; it was like my mind wasn't my own anymore.

'_Sorry, I didn't mean to. I can't help it.'_ Edward thought, although his laughter didn't stop.

Anger flooded through me as I turned around and sped in the opposite direction, trying to find my way back to the house. Emmett followed behind me while Edward blew past us.

We were at the porch when I hesitated entering.

'_What is it?'_ Came Edward's thought, as Carlisle, Alice and Jasper looked at me from inside.

'_Renesmee – your daughter.'_ I replied to his silent question.

"Oh!" reasoning brightened his eyes.

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><p><em>Review, reviews! :)<em>


	5. Home

_Sorry for not having updated earlier. I'll make up by updating with two chapters ;-)_

_Hope you guys enjoy. Once again a huge thanks to everyone for the humongous number of alerts, tags and hits! _

_Happy Reading :)_

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><p><em>The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.<em>_ - __**William Arthur Ward**_

**CHAPTER 4:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**When you see a ray of hope, you must try. I had heard that every cloud had a silver lining, but was it true? I think it was time to find out.**_

"You think you could handle it?" He encouraged.

"I don't know, I'd hate to take the chance. I mean, I'm full yes, but..." my eyes fell to the ground. I felt like a monster that needed monitoring all the time. So many emotions were running through me all at the same time – anger, guilt, fear, confusion. It was then that I realised that I could do something more.

My body froze, my mind went blank and I couldn't see anything around me. I was remotely aware of my surroundings. All I could see was, me – holding a seven year old girl in my arms. She wore a little pink Tutu dress while her bronze curls outlined her beatific face which appeared slightly blurred. She was clinging to my back and giggling. I was giggling with her. She played with the strands of my hair while I nudged her back lovingly planting a kiss on her cheek, but this girl seemed familiar. It felt like I had seen here somewhere before. _It was Renesmee._

My mind snapped back to reality. I looked around at my surroundings, totally confused once more. There wasn't a single moment that I hadn't been confused ever since turning into a 'vampire'. I wondered if confusion came as an attribute when one changed. Even if it didn't, it was driving me insane, all the same.

I turned around to see where I was standing to be met by a stunned Edward. He eyed me as if someone had told him something that altered his life forever.

".That?" His voice was shocked and mind... confused? That comforted me; at least there was someone to give me company in the confusion department now. Surely it came as an attribute, I concluded.

"'?" I immitated his tone, equally baffled.

Understanding filled his eyes as he started laughing again. His laughter grew from a soft chuckle to a mad man's hysterics only infuriating me more. Jasper was trying to manupilate my emotions, I could feel it, but they kept going astrew.

"Edward stop it! Nessie has been asking for her, I don't think I can keep her any longer." Rosalie chided from inside the house.

"Yayy! They are here are they? Does that mean I get to meet her? Is she downstairs? Will she like me?" I could hear little Renesmee ambush her mother and her aunts with questions. As much as I found her absolutely adorable, I feared for her safety. My breathing had stopped. This was another attribute which was advantageous. It helped me cut myself from my surroundings when I was unsure of myself – which was frequently, if I might add.

Before I could compose my thoughts and walk into the house, Renesmee was running down the stairs and out the door in our direction. I slowly took a few steps back, trying to refrain from coming in direct contact with her. Sensing my hesitation, she stopped in her tracks. Bella and Rosalie followed her as Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme watched from the first level of the house.

'_Its okay Claire, you've seen it. Nothing will happen.'_ Alice's thoughts surprised me. I wondered if what I thought had happened had happened indeed. I had been forming too many composite sentences lately, I made a note of it to myself. How easily distracted I became. My thoughts also went to the name Alice called me, _'Claire'_. My friends and family always called me Claire. I wondered if she had known that fact.

I looked again, once at Renesmee, who was now hidden from view behind her aunt and her mother. Her small head was tilting from the side as I caught sight of her bronze curls fall out. Her eyes met mine and she broke into a smile, displaying the full set of her teeth. Much to my amazement, I sensed myself smiling back at her.

Carefully, I took one short breath, tasting the air around me, hoping there was no scent of blood – human blood. Althought I couldn't smell human blood, but Renesmee's scent was unique. She smelled... good. She didn't smell appetizing like the deers I had fed upon previously and her scent didn't cause a burning sensation in my throat. I drew in another breath, this time a slightly longer one, testing myself.

Nothing.

I repeated the same process over and over again until I heard Edward and Alice yelling at me mentally in unison.

'_Clarissa stop! You are doing well.'_

'_Don't hesitate to kill me if I do something wrong.'_ I thought looking at Edward, before taking my first step towards the adorable little girl. He first nodded in my direction and then in Rosalie and Bella's direction.

Renesmee's little figure appeared from behind her mother, her dazzling smile tranfixed on her face. She was endearing and angelic. No one could deny her anything. She made her way slowly and steadily towards me as I bent down on my knees so that I was of her height. She cautiously touched her palm to my cheek. Her hands felt warm and soft, unlike mine that felt cold and hard against her skin. As soon as she touched her hand to my cheek, I could see innumerable number of images flash before my eyes. I looked at her, shocked. I wondered how she did that. Her brow was a little furrowed as if she couldn't 'show' me what she wanted to.

After much thought, she settled on a few pictures of everyone being worried and her being overly anxious to meet me. She showed me how she had insisted upon meeting me and had thrown a fake tantrum at home in front of her grandma, aunts and her mother while we had been away. She then moved to another memory. It showed how much everyone was concerned about me and how I had often brought Esme and Bella almost to tears when I was behaving rebelliously. If they could cry, they would have. I suddenly felt guilty and hung my head down.

Sensing my guilt, she changed the memory into one that included hers again, her anticipation and excitement which she had tried to unsuccessfully conceal upon hearing my entrance. It brought back a smile to my face again.

She unexpectedly hugged me holding me by my neck. Once again, I went stiff for an instant before recovering. I wasn't familiar to so much of physical contact on the same day. It seemed like days and not merely hours had passed since I had learned to accept my new family. I hugged the little girl in my arms back.

"Are you my new aunt?" she said softly in her childish voice.

"Do you want me to be your aunt?" I whispered into her small ears.

"Yes, yes, yes!" she started bouncing at once and I was afraid she was having a sugar rush. The enthusiasm and happiness that radiated from her was almost unbearable, none the less it made me only too happy. I now understood why she had everyone wrapped around her little fingers.

"Okay, okay, okay calm down now."

Renesmee started pulling me towards the house where I was greeted by Carlisle and Esme. Esme looked almost smug.

She came over and hugged me so tightly that if a vampire could choke, they would have.

"Claire, we love you." she whispered into my ears, holding me securely.

"Thanks Esme, I'm very sorry for having been so rude and uncooperative. Please forgive me if you think I deserve your forgiveness." I felt very guilty. I knew there was a long list of sorry's still left.

"Don't darling. Don't be sorry. We all have our moments." She consoled me.

Next I turned my attention towards Carlisle.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen for welcoming me to you family."

"Well darling if you are going to be a part of this family, I will have to be Carlisle." He smiled and gently hugged me and this time, I reciprocated the gesture instead of shoving him away.

Alice danced down the stairs followed by Jasper and Emmett.

"So when do we start with rebuilding your room and of course, I am going to stack your closet so when do you suggest we go shopping?" she squeaked in happiness causing everyone to laugh.

"Alice, I'm a little confused actually." I chose my words carefully but it was too late. I could see she was making plans to go to Seattle this weekend to pick up a few clothes.

"Oh!" she finally said, as if breaking out from a reverie.

"I see, I can't wait for you to control your thirst. It'll be fun shopping with you. I can see it." She sang and came forward to hug me.

Emmett had already completed his quota but it seemed that didn't suffice. He picked me up, twirled me around and then welcomed me by saying, "Welcome to the madness little sister."

Rosalie, looked at me with a confident smile and I could tell she was sincere in accepting me into her family although she said not a word. I guessed she wasn't a person of too many words.

Bella was next. She had been standing next to Edward and observing me carefully that had I not turned around, I wouldn't probably have noticed her presence. A smile formed on her lips as our eyes met.

"So I guess I'm not the youngest anymore. I get someone to bully too?" she joked and we laughed together. One hug followed another until I came to my last.

I had too much to apologize to Jasper for. For having tested his patience, for having infuriated him time after time, for having inflicted unnecessary pain on him when all he had tried to do was help.

"You feel… guilty?" he stated as I stood in front of him.

"I am guilty."

"But why?" he asked as if I hadn't done anything at all, as if I had caused him no harm.

"If it's regarding the bizarre routine you followed, trying to rebel, trust me it doesn't matter." He said as if reading my mind. Could Jasper read minds too? I wondered.

"I promise to try not to infuriate you." I added sheepishly. He simply patted my head with his big palms.

"Welcome home little sister." Edward's voice melted with the soft harmony that he played on the piano perfectly.

"Thank you big brother." I smiled at him and skipped to his side, near the piano.

This was my family now. This was home.


	6. Normalcy

_The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived. – __**Oscar Wilde**__._

**CHAPTER 5:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**When life throws lemons at you, ask for some tequila and salt! Make living fun! That was exactly my philosophy of life and nothing could stop me from following it again, especially not with the support of a lovely family.**_

Life with the Cullens was blasé and easy. They seemed to be the perfect family. I was admitted into the happy atmosphere of their family without any inhibitions and reservations. Spending time with every member of the family made me remember my real family a little less everyday. The memories kept fading no matter how hard I tried to keep clinging to them.

Esme was a complete motherly figure. She treated me just like her child, always worrying about how I was trying to cope up with my new lifestyle. I think majority of her day was spent in worrying about me. She was greatly relieved when one evening I volunteered in helping her design a 'part' of my room which had at least double the size of my room back home. Edward and Esme decided to have a good stereo system which had absolutely brilliant acoustics. I felt it was absolutely unnecessary to even 'renovate' my room since it was too huge for a single person anyway.

Bella soon explained to me, that it was pointless arguing with the family since I could never stop them. She told me about her experiences and how she never got her way when it came to the Cullens flooding her with gifts despite her tantrums. She also told me how overprotective Edward was when it came to his family and her. It seemed he had gone to the limit of buying a car which was purchased and built in fact with superior defence mechanisms only for the mafia and that had me rolling with laughter on the floor.

Bella was fun to talk to. She told me bits and pieces about her human life, at least how much she remembered of it and then about the pains they had gone through to have Renesmee with them. After hearing so much about her life, I could understand why everyone was so protective of the little one who was now trying to fix colourful pins into my hair.

Alice, was the most enthusiastic person or rather vampire, I had ever known. Her happy-go-lucky nature kept marvelling me at all times. She like Edward, Bella, Renesmee and Jasper and apparently me, was gifted. It was because o her that I had been able to have that vision few weeks before. She could 'see' the future, which was very helpful since this helped Carlisle invest his money in the right stocks which bore fruitful dividends and in turn got us some brilliant returns. I was now begining to understand why the Cullen family never thought of money as a source of worry as any other normal family would have, but then again, you would hardly call a vampire family normal, right?

Alice had single handedly arranged my wardrobe which was absolutely stunning. I wondered how she knew my choice of clothing so well. She had blindfolded me by jumping on my back and pulling her hands on my eyes so that I couldn't see anything. I thought she was being overly melodramatic but she insisted that I get the 'full effect'. Undoubtedly she was a fashionista. It was a perfect mix of everything. There were skinny jeans and amazing cargos at the same time there were cocktail dresses and floor length gowns, although I did wonder what I'd have done with them. It wasn't like we could ever go out to balls or galas. With Alice's presence, happiness radiated in this household.

Rosalie had been the quietest but her thoughts had been the hardest to decipher. I couldn't understand her complex mind. At one moment she used to sympathise with me and in the other she would be cursing the life she had. One day as I walked past the garage, I could see her repairing something. I never knew she had fancied automobiles, because they were my field of expertise too when I was human of course. Being born to a father and beside a brother who had dedicated their lives to the'welfare of cars', any girl was bound to love cars herself. I stopped dead in my tracks when Rosalie called out my name and asked me to help her with the tool box.

I did as I was instructed and we bonded over our love for automobiles. Rosalie showed me how to upgrade the engine and the old cars as well as the new cars the Cullens had. They did have quite a show in the garage itself. The range was magnificent. It included a Porsche Carrera GT. An off-road harnessing Jeep. Rosalie's convertible BMW M3. Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish. Jasper's Maserati. Carlisle's Mercedes and Bella's Ferrari. What caught my eye was the loan Shiny Volvo at one end of the garage. The Volvo C3 was one car that I could fix even in my dreams for it had been my brother's car. Rosalie explained to me that the Cullens tried to be inconspicuous if they could.

Emmett was the most enjoyable company one could ever have, or so I thought. We both bonded over the silliest of jokes that he'd crack. No one else would laugh at them save me. He made it a point to keep playing pranks on people which would often result in huge embarrassment, especially when it was Bella and Edward. They were the 'newlyweds' in this particular family and Emmett grasped every single opportunity he could to embarrass Bella. Emmett's childish behaviour contrasted Rosalie's matured demeanour. I wondered how people with two so widely contrasting personalities came to be one.

Jasper was the silent charismatic southern gentleman who despised attention. I liked talking to him. Whenever the others were busy or he felt that I was lonely, which was a rarity off late, he would come sit by me and we'd talk about his life before and after he was changed. Often I would reciprocate by telling him about myself, although I couldn't recollect much. Memories did fade after all – and mine were too.

Jasper's life story really touched me. It amazed me and made me feel honourable to be sitting next to a man who had so much of worldly knowledge. I wondered how much he had seen in his lifetime. His life was one of great emotional, physically and mental turmoil. In spite of it all, he had come out of it, shinning like a diamond, proving to be victorious. I respected him immensely. It was easy to feel at ease with Jasper around. He was a great brother, probably the wise man after Carlisle in this family.

Carlisle... Yes! My father. I could recall the happiness that shot through him just when that word had escaped my mouth. I missed my father and mother and there were no one else who could ever take their place but Carlisle and Esme filled that void in my new life. Carlisle was at least four hundred years old. He was born in the 1600 in Medieval England and his father had been a priest. I was lucky to often hear Carlisle's history from the man himself! It was really more than commendable the way Carlisle had controlled his thirst and devoted his life to the service for the welfare of the human race. I hadn't seen a more noble man than him. I wished I could be half as good as him. I couldn't even imagine what he must have had to endure during his transformation and admired his decision to hunt animals even in his hour of desperation.

Then came my favourite 'brother' – Edward. Edward's life was rather one that was full of remorse, self pity and bleakness, but this was only until he found Bella. We often enjoyed our silent conversations. It really helped when two psychics spoke in secrecy. He had the patience and resilience that matched only Carlisle. He told me about his 'rebellious' years as a new born and I couldn't help but agree that what he did was indeed correct. The kind of people he hunted down were the kind that deserved to be hunted down. If they couldn't value human life, they didn't deserve to live themselves. However, Edward disagreed. He always thought himself to be a soul-less monster, something that defied the very basic law of nature.

What really pleased me however was to see him happy. Probably because I had grown so fond of Bella and Edward had been with me at all times always helping me find a little more of myself.

They say you save the best for the last. Yes! How true that was indeed.

My favourite member of the family was the little bronze haired, chocolate brown eyed girl - Renesmee. She was just as beautiful as her name. Renesmee was born when Bella was still human. She had her mother's beautiful chocolate brown eyes and her father's bronze hair. Her dimples were a clear winner and her wisdom at her young tender age was fascinating.

She tried to give me information regarding every possible moment of her life – how she was born, how her parents and her family loved her, how her aunt Alice and Rosalie played Barbie Doll with her for countless hours in a day, how she read her story books on her own without anybody's help. She prided herself for it although it scared her mother beyond bounds. Bella and Edward thought that their daughter's childhood was fleeting away too soon, which indeed was true considering the fact that Renesmee would mature into a beautiful young girl only in a short span of seven years. With her exceptional gift, Renesmee chose to substitute words with visions by placing her palms to our faces.

Among many of her thoughts, one particular one always disturbed me. She showed me the horrific incident that Bella had only lightly touched upon and Edward had refused to talk about. The Volturi as they were known, had tried to exterminate Renesmee's existence. I could see their faces, clearly through the eyes of young Renesmee. I could feel the agony, the pain, the tension and the charged atmosphere despite my absence and it angered me.

I knew it would be hard to speak to Bella and Edward about this subject, and Renesmee was much too young to subject her to these hideous memories. After much thought I had asked Carlisle to tell me about the Volturi.

It was then that Edward himself enlightened me about the Volturi and their members. Edward portrayed them to be the vampires on the side of good, however I couldn't see through that particular piece of explanation. Vampires who could go to any leaps and bounds to terminate the existence of a little girl without even knowing the truth deserved no respect and specially no regard in my opinion. From that day forth, I always saw them in bad light.

Weeks passed by like days in the Cullen household. It amazed me that in order to keep up their pretences of being a normal family and not exposing themselves as Vampires, they had to relieve the nightmare of high school again and again and again. I would have done anything to escape it, although I loved educating myself, what really annoyed me was the attitude of most of the kids and my temperamental nature didn't quite help me.

"Claire do you realise? It would be perfect when you start school! You would perfectly fit in as Carlisle and Esme's daughter!" Alice had enthused one day.

"I thought I was?" I turned around so hear Alice's reasoning.

"Yes, but your name sort of sounds like an amalgamation of Carlisle and Esme! It makes it more believable!" She giggled happily and I laughed at her excitement. Indeed high school would be a brilliant experience with the golden opportunity of reading people's minds. I smiled to myself.

Life was good. I engaged myself to reading from Carlisle and Edward's huge library. One could find anything and everything they wanted in it. Since sleep never came over me, I kept myself busy reading even more and at times, surfing the internet, playing childish games. Also, I decided to make good use of the acoustic system that Esme had fitted in my room. Whenever Alice was free, we'd end up discussing the new trends and exchanging designs with one another. Bella simply rolled her eyes every time we did that. Shopping was never my cup of tea, but indulging in yourself once in a while never hurt! Or at least that was what I thought. Edward taught me to play the piano with tremendous amount of patience. I always made mistakes when it came to practising the D chord and the F chord, although I must admit, I was steadily progressing. I was now learning to play one of the easier pieces of harmony he had composed.

Initially I felt immensely guilty over having to spend the money that didn't rightfully belong to me. But I realised my gaffe after a long speech from Carlisle, Edward and Esme. Only then did I realise my **crime**! I could have saved myself by simply accepting what was given to me and should have taken Bella's advice.

At times, it felt like I was living a lie. I was afraid that one day I would wake up and see that this had all been a dream – merely a figment of my imagination. Life never got this close to perfection; I knew it only a bit too well.

As time passed by, I gradually understood my ability. I had the ability to mimic people's powers. I could do everything that a gifted Vampire could do if only I got in their close vicinity. Carlisle and Jasper were amazed at my ability. They told me, they hadn't seen ability like mine in their centuries of years. Edward and Carlisle had a theory; they believed that our most powerful human sense was what strengthened itself in our new life. I wondered what human sense had been strongest in me. Why I never copied people when I was a human at all!

I practised everyday with Bella, Emmett and Jasper in an attempt to improve my fighting skills. Edward and Alice taught me how to control the mind reading and the visions. I remember the first few days when I went blank frequently having visions, or unknowingly reading people's minds which was absoutely embarrassing. I was glad I could now finally learn to control my ability and could give people their privacy and save my self from the torture of having to hear... well... inappropriate thoughts.

It was astonishing how in such a small span of time, I had bonded so deeply with my new family. It felt like we were a close inseparable little unit. It made me happy – very happy. The word house was not pertinent to be used anymore. It was now the place I called 'home'.

Among everyone there was only one person I wasn't comfortable around. He seemed to have a natural dislike for me and I couldn't fathom why it was. And that one particular person was – Jacob Black.

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><p><em>Would love reviews! :)<em>


	7. Agendas

_I am so very sorry for having kept all of you waiting. I really couldn't have uploaded earlier which is why I shall once again, upload two chapters in a row._

_The response to the story has been phenomenal and I would like to thank every single one of you who has taken the time to read and review, although I would have loved a few more reviews, but I do understand that unless Alec makes his presence felt, I shouldn't expect it :D_

_Yes, yes. We are afterall reading it for Alec now, aren't we? Well then, why not have a little sneak-peak into his mind and see what he plans!_

_Happy Reading everyone!_

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><p><strong>CHAPTER<strong>** 6:**

**ALEC [POV]**

Every morning began with a new sleepless air that perpetuated itself in our vampire lives. Rest was not something vampires were even supposed to think of. Yet in the Volturi palace we had enough of it. Excepting the occasional violence we were expected to engage in we truly had a blessed life.

The most delicious blooded food in the world, none of which were from Volterra were served to us in unusual platters and dressings. These humans just walked into our traps; beautiful as we were.

Yes, we were powerful. Sheer naked power was what gave us the life we had. We, vampires never need to spend money on food clothing and all those basic trivial things that humans spend their lives trying to acquire. We never have to buy food. They walked to us and flirted their way into our systems.

The Volturi palace itself was a beauty untouched by human hands. It was a vampire territory full of the horrors of human mythology and Aro's enthusiasm.

_Aro is my lord and master; my creator. My sister and I are the most precious gift that heaven had decided to present to him. We are his missiles; his weapons of mass destruction._

My chest rose in pride as I admired the thought. I met my sister at the foot of the stairs and kissed her white paper cheek. She smiled at me; a smile which was brimming with innocence at the surface,

_She is almost four hundred years old as am I. She has retained the looks of a fourteen year old whereas I look twenty years of age. I_ smiled back at her pleasantly.

"Aro is unhappy about something brother. The whole palace feels restless", she said.

"Yes, I thought so too. What do you think is the matter?"

"I'm not sure but I'll wager my next human blood that it is something about the Cullens." Her voice filled with poison that I could feel in my mouth.

The Cullens. The newborn wife of that rogue Edward Cullen! Our powers had been challenged only by that female vampire. We were nullified and our powers were void. I wish I had sucked the life out of her when she had been human.

Of course, however, Aro had thought there was chance she would be a major benefit to our ranks. I had known even then that she would follow around her love Edward in that matter, because no matter how strong she maybe her talent she was of very little worth otherwise.

My sister, Jane and I shared a moment of silence remembering that fateful day when I could crack the ground but not harm any of the vampires ranged before us; some of them very old enemies of Aro's. Jane did not like being defeated by anyone and in reality we both knew that without her talent Jane could do nothing. I always cringed at that thought; my only consolation being that I would protect her without a doubt.

We climbed silently down. Silence was a pervading influence in the palace. No one but Aro spoke much.

On entering the Throne Room our suspicions grounded themselves. Aro was pacing furtively to and fro before his one-armed intricately carved throne. I sketched it in my mind with charcoal on marble; then shook the image deliberately out of my mind.

"Aro." I greeted curtly.

He looked up from his troubles to greet us with the enthusiasm that he reserved only for us. I was pleased to know that neither of us were regarded as useless due to our failure to be the weapons that he considered us to be.

"Ah, Dear ones. I have been waiting for you for quite a while now!" He exclaimed. "We have some news for you to consider and opine on"

The room was filled with an audible hush. Apparently, Aro had not let them know anything before we were present.

"What is it, Aro?" Jane said.

"As you might have guessed it is about the Cullens, yes." he noticed that we had guessed and proceeded. "They seem to have made an addition to their family. A female of the same age in human years as Edward. She, we hear, is extremely powerful. Her power being that of mimicry. She can evidently replicate any power that she experiences or witnesses. She, I feel will be a precious little addition to our congregation."

Wide-eyed Jane and I shared a look that bordered along the fear that we would never admit to anyone but each other. I stepped forward and address Aro as if we were alone.

"Aro, with all due respect I must comment that this girl cannot be depended upon. We cannot trust that she will want to leave the Cullens and enter life as your guard. I think, Aro she should not be allowed to survive. They, the Cullens are certainly too powerful even without her." I heard Jane snarl in approval.

Aro, however was shaking his head.

"They will not let us. The Cullens are too strong and they really have not given us any reason to kill the girl." He hesitated, before continuing, "You see they actually have protected our secrecy by taking this girl under their wing. We have no reason to complain." He contemplated, annoyed, sceptical.

He did not look pleased about that unavoidable fact.

Though I hated to admit it, Aro was as usual accurate in his assessment.

"We can't let them have the power to demolish us, Aro." Jane's young voice was shrill. "We can find a way around this."

"Yes, my dear. I have actually given the matter much thought and I have come to the conclusion that we have to gather a mass. We need strength and number on our side young ones. When we have that we can summon her to Volterra and offer her a prestigious position weaker only to my brothers and me. If she is pertinent enough to refuse that, we kill."

There was a unanimous snarl in the room. I looked around to find Felix and Demetri crouching and Chelsea looking particularly venomous. Aro however, was not having any protests. He raised his hands to silence them dismissively, his eyes on the faces of his most trusted weapons.

"How can you think that, Aro?" Jane growled, the guttural sound from the others gaining prominence in Jane's support. I was enraged, yes, but I also knew Aro was one who worked with cold logic and would never have put himself in a precarious situation without a failsafe and without a strong agenda.

My silence was what caught Aro's immediate attention, much to Jane's dismay. She had always been his favourite child.

"Your silence takes me by surprise, dear one." His graceful movement found him standing in front of me in an instant. "Do you not have an opinion to share, _Alec_?" Aro seldom referred to us by our names.

"I do not doubt that you do have an agenda, _master_." As much as I would have liked to believe that my freedom had not been sacrificed, Aro's towering presence shattered my false notions in one instant.

"Always the one for strategy, isn't that why you have always been my secret weapon, yes?" Aro mused, a look of admiration in his eyes. He returned back to his majestic throne, seating himself comfortably.

After a pregnant contemplative silence, he delivered his judgement. "An army of vampires." A loud union of hiss clouded the otherwise mute room. Aro continued, unfazed. "And all with abilities shall be created."

"Not only shall we be stronger by number but also by brute force." Caius made his presence felt as Aro relaxed in his chair.

"But how does that help if she mimics abilities master?" Jane questioned, bewildered. From her tenor I could tell that my sister wasn't in her comfortable place and her disposition made me worry. Jane was never one to leave a thought midway.

"She is powerful, yes. But we must remember, even the most powerful fall to brute force." Caius stated.

"The proposition of power and authority my dears, must only be one of sorts. In truth, it shall prove to be bait for when has there been a fish ever caught with a bait too trivial?" Aro reasoned, the conviction in his voice reflecting the complexity of his obscure mind.

"Jane my dear," He addressed to my sister, holding his hand for her to take. "Will you be a dear and step forward." Aro dismissed the others and even if they detested to be left out from the conversation, none had the fortitude to revolt. The Volturi were a coven, not a family of equals.

"Alec, my dear, you too." He called, the deceptive smile always on his ashen face. Once the door closed, Aro disclosed to us his agendas.

"I shall expect of you dear ones to create for me this army we speak of." He paced, unsure of his words. In addition however, he made a request which had been unexpected for it had been condemned an abomination. "But there a request I shall make." He looked at me, directly and in an instant he stood before my eyes.

"Alec," he began, "you have always been my most trusted and my precious." The directions of his words were beginning to feel like a razor knife, threatening to strike. "There isn't another I would trust to take decisions on the intricacies of the agenda we plan."

"Jane and I shall do the needful." I supplied, knowing the reason for his request. His decisions were being watched. He nodded, smiling clearly too happy about his achievement.

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><p>We walked in silence to the training ground. There were decisions to be made.<p>

"Vampires, sinewy and trained." I began, addressing to those who were gathered to hear the outcome. "Our army shall be one that shall involve one from every part of the mortal world."

Jane explained to them the niti-grities, assigning each one a territory. Six territories with five from each would put us on a footing one would never challenge.

She stood beside me, my sister. "Brother, you don't look at ease?" her small brow creased, questioning.

"There is one more thing we need to do Jane." My mind was racing. If the developments in the palace were to be concealed, there was only one way I could orchester it and it was what we condemned an abomination.

"What is it brother?" she urged.

"We shall need vampire-human hybrids to mask us." I looked at her triumphant and a wicked grin spread on her angelic face.

The ball had been set in motion and it was only time that would tell how far it had dribbled. Jane and I would patiently wait for the fruits our expedition would bring to us and the arrival of the certain Cullen who was so desperately sought by Aro.

The thought of her presence made me anxious, she had to be only too perilous if Aro had gone to the lengths of offering her such a bait. We would know soon.

I smiled. It wouldn't be long.


	8. Volterra

_"The greatest penalty of evildoing - namely, to grow into the likeness of bad men." – __**Plato.**_

**CHAPTER 7:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

I realised that off late, Carlisle had been behaving a little odd. It appeared to me that he had been trying to keep something from my knowledge. He always looked a little tense and from his expression, I could tell that he was terrifically vexed. Days passed by as I saw Renesmee growing by leaps and bounds. Now I could truly understand why Edward and Bella were so worried. With every passing day she grew taller and wiser.

Jacob Black had been getting on my nerves lately, so I had finally put my foot down and confront him which ended on not so friendly terms. We discovered that we had a mutual hate-hate relationship and thought it best to keep it that way. Apparently he was a shape-shifter. In Lehman's terms, I'd call him a werewolf if I were still human. Sometimes I wondered if this was all real or was I caught in a mythical world, I mean Vampires and Werewolves were always at loggerheads in Underworld movies, so how was that not applicable in our case?

Everything seemed blasé until a letter arrived. A letter in an expensive, rich, tasteful envelope which had writing in elegant script.

It read:

**_Dearest friend Carlisle,_**

**_I wish to believe that your family is in the best of their health. We wish the very best for little Renesmee. We come upon interesting news about one of your new family members and wish to meet her, if she shall oblige. It would be an honour indeed to witness a gift as strong as hers as I hear from many._**

**_Hoping to have you in Volterra soon and wishing you all the fortune and good luck._**

**_Your old friend,_**

**_Aro._**

Carlisle read out the contents aloud in front of all of us and then sighed heavily. I could hear everyone's troubled thoughts and could feel Edward grow almost violent.

"Claire isn't going anywhere." He stated angrily, making it sound more as if a statement than a suggestion.

"Son, you have to take things calmly at this moment." Carlisle tried to soothe Edward.

"Carlisle, this isn't going to go well, I have a feeling. Alice, what do you say?" Jasper was rather... doubtful? Jasper being doubtful indeed smelled trouble.

"I don't see anything going wrong." She quipped in a distressed tone.

"Well then I'll go with her." Edward stated glumly.

"Don't be stupid." I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes. Edward hated the Volturi ever since the incident with his daughter. I couldn't blame him. Anyone would hate them if that were the case. I was also of the strong belief that the Volturi weren't too pleased with Alice and Edward either. I had come to this conclusion because of two reasons - first because both of them had refused to serve the Volturi even though they remained much sought after. Edward had not only broken the 'rules' by falling in love with a human, but had also tried to expose the existence of Vampires - something our kind wasn't allowed to do.

Alice on the other hand had played a pivoting role in saving Renesmee's life. She had brought another hybrid just in time to save Renesmee from the horror. This lead me to another conclusion - seeing either of them would only infuriate them and then probably lead to disastrous consequences.

Edward read my thoughts, I could feel it. My shield was let down. I had been practising with Bella to try and keep it up, but whenever I was in deep thought, I slipped.

"Then you don't go. It's simple. It states, if you oblige. And you don't." he stated matter-of-factly.

"I don't see that happening." Alice broke the unsettling silence that hung around in the house.

"Carlisle and I will go along with her." Jasper spoke in the end and I turned around shocked.

"I don't think I can even go." I said in a small voice and everyone eyed me, waiting for an explanation. From the corner of my eye I could see a wide smile spread on Edward's face.

"I haven't been around humans at all. As much as I can gather, it'll be excruciating to be in a small aircraft full of human for as long as five hours." I tried to persuade them. I did have a valid reason after all.

"Yes, that does seem to be a problem." Carlisle muttered, slightly relaxed.

"In that case, you'll just have to hold your breath." Jasper stated uninterested.

"Alice?" she was my last hope. My last desperate hope.

'_You can see it as much as I can, you won't slip. I'm sorry.' _She thought and gave me a weak smile, battering mine and Edward's hope.

With those final words, everything was settled. Carlisle replied his friend Aro with a letter saying that we'd be arriving in a week's time. That one week was going to be the toughest week in my existence so far. For hours I practised with Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie as they taught me different fighting skills and techniques. We were going equipped in case of any sign of jeopardy. Edward, Bella and Alice helped me perfect my abilities and taught me how to go hours without breathing. Much to my amazement, I discovered, I didn't need to breathe at all. Being a vampire would never cease to amaze me. It was difficult to believe how well adapted they were, or in my case - we were.

The day of departure had finally arrived. I had strived very hard to hold my breath and not speak until I was in safe waters. I posed as Jasper's mute sister. In order to cover the horrible orange colour of my eyes Alice had supplied me with dark brown coloured lenses, although they needed to be changed frequently because venom kept diluting their colour.

As I sat in the car, on our way to the airport, fidgeting with my fingers which, was clearly a sign of nervousness, I recalled the last words of my family before I left.

'_Come home soon. We'll be waiting for you.' Bella had said, if she could cry she would have. Her voice was heavy; I could feel the fear in her._

'_If anyone messes with you there, you know you got back up.' Emmett. Always the loving, adorable elder brother. It would hurt if I wouldn't see him again, but I knew I would. I had seen it that I was coming back home._

'_Just take care of yourself alright. I don't like them a bit but that doesn't help. So just, just be careful.' Rosalie patted my cheek and gave me a small hug. She really did think me to be her younger sister and it was a lovely feeling._

_Alice was perched on the steps of the wooden stairway. In an instant she rushed to my side and pulled me into a hug._

'_I know you'll come back soon enough. Don't stress yourself too much.' She whispered once and then let me go, giving me a weak smile._

_Esme hugged me too tightly once again and when she did, I finally understood the gravity of the situation. I could feel a mother's concern for her child's safety. I could remember how worried my mother became if I ever got sick. If I could have, I would have fallen into her and sobbed very hard. I hugged her back too, pouring in all my love and affection in the gesture._

_Renesmee was next. From her expressions, one could say that she was aware of where I was going. In her childhood innocence, all she said was, "I love you Aunt Clarissa. Please come home soon." I pulled her into a hug and covered her face with little kisses._

"_Of course my angel, of course I'll come home soon." I smiled at her._

_Lastly I turned to Edward. I had feared this moment since the very first day. I knew how he had opposed to my idea and wasn't happy one bit that I had to leave for Volterra._

"_You don't have to do this Claire. You know it." He sighed unhappily._

"_I know brother, but it'll be better to be in their good books instead of making things worse." I tried to reason with him._

_He came over to my side and hugged me lovingly, exactly like the first time when he had saved me from my depression. I reciprocated his gesture and thought to him, 'Don't worry Edward. I'll be home soon. I promise not to do anything reckless and be on my best behaviour. At least try to be that is.'_

'_I'm hoping for that sis, I'm hoping for the best. Remember we love you and would do anything for you. Just come home as soon as you can.' _

_I had a very heavy feeling in my dead heart. The feeling was so intense that it would have shattered any human. I could feel sadness reeking through every single corner in my house._

"Claire, its time darling." Carlisle snapped me out reverie.

With one last breath, I stopped breathing and with all the confidence I had, I stepped out of the car and made way to the airport at Seattle. Jasper held me tightly, out arms interlocking with one another. It was a little unnerving having so many pairs of eyes looking at us spellbound. I wondered why they didn't mind their own business.

'_My, my. What a handsome couple. I'm sure they'll have great kids.'_ A lady thought. It disgusted me. Jasper was my brother for crying out loud, I winced away.

'_Look at that, how are they so beautiful, I'm sure they are really rich and important.' _Another lady thought. I mentally chuckled and an unknowing smile spread on my face. If only she knew how rich!

As we finally stopped at the departure gate, I could see clearly through the official's mind why people were staring at us. Any one would stare at two absolutely breath takingly handsome blond men who were dressed in the most tasteful clothing. What surprised me was the lady who stood next to the tall honey coloured blond haired man. She wore a knee length light blue silk dress under her black overcoat. Her hair was tied in an elegant manner and she looked ravishingly beautiful. Once I noticed that she had ochre coloured eyes, I realised that they lady was me. The colour of the lenses was fading; I would have to change them soon.

We cleared immigration and customs. Jasper had managed to fake a passport for me. Apparently, he had his contacts and getting a new identity was never a problem. I now went by the name of Clarissa _Cullen_.

The flight to Volterra was an infinitely long one. It was uneasy to hold my breath for so long. I didn't need to breathe, yes, but it made me uncomfortable. But then again, I knew that I had the potential to massacre every single person in this aircraft if I'd slip and then, I'd have to live with the regret all my life.

I kept myself busy either reading something or working on my laptop. The lenses were irritating my eyes as they kept itching and I had to keep changing them regularly, lest some one got suspicious seeing a lady having orange eyes.

After what seemed like hours, I looked out the window to see the rays of the setting sun. Of course they were impenetrable through the thick glasses and I should have thanked god for that. I had never known why we avoided the sun. Whenever the sun was out, we'd go camping to a cloudy place or just stay at home. It was an unexplained mystery to me - the sun.

The scene outside was beautiful. It reminded me P.'s 'Cloud'. A poem that I had studied in middle school and now I could truly understand every imagery the poet had tried to portray. It was a beautiful sight indeed and seemed as romantic as Keats' poems.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we'd be landing in Volterra in a few minutes from now. The temperature in Volterra is twenty degree Celsius with mild sun shine. Please fasten your seat belts as we prepare for landing. Thank you." the co-pilot's announcement disrupted my train of thought as I lay back in my seat. The familiar feeling of nervousness returned.

I felt a wave of calmness swap through me and turned around to see Jasper looking at me concerned. I smiled and put my hand on his cheek to show him what I wanted to.

'_Thank you.'_ I thought to him and he smiled and nodded.

After having cleared the necessary proceedings and having retrieved our bags, we headed to the exit. There we were met by two people, who were of our kind. I could tell by the colour of their eyes. They were a deep orange.

"Demetri." Carlisle greeted one of them and he simply nodded.

He was accompanied by one other whose name was a mystery to all of us. I gathered from Demetri that his name was Corin.

The two men, named Demetri and Corin hurried us to a black Mercedes. It had heavily tinted glasses, which would protect us from the glare of the sun.

In a matter of a few minutes, we were at a deserted alley. The men escorted us out of the car and guided us to the alley. It was dark and the path was stony and unrefined. My human eyes wouldn't have adjusted to the uncanny darkness and I would have tripped frequently on the path, but nothing of that sort happened. We were now facing a huge wooden framed, intricate designed door which looked at least a thousand years old.

We entered the room that was hidden behind the large wooden ornate door. It was large and had pillars which looked to have been made of porcelain. There were intricate patterns carved on them and gave the effect of a palace. In one corner, behind the desk, stood a thin lady shuffling through the papers on her desk. She looked up and smiled at us.

"Hello. You must be Dr. Cullen?" she addressed Carlisle.

"Yes, hello to you too." Carlisle replied calmly.

"My master has been waiting for you. I'm Diana." She said, and then we were led to another room – the Throne Room as they called it.

As we made our way to the throne room, Jasper whispered to Carlisle, "I wonder what they did of the last one. I haven't seen her around."

"Well, I don't know either."

They were talking about the receptionist. Apparently she was human and had replaced the one before. The thought of the word human brought a pool of venom in my mouth and I felt my eyes grow dark with craving for blood. Stubborn as I was, I kept my craving at bay by securely holding onto my breath and avoided to give way to temptation.

I prayed, it would all be over too soon, only, I did not know that this was indeed the beginning of a battle. A battle so bloody, that would be spoken of for the rest of our immortal history.

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><p><em>Hmm, I kind of feel sad now when I'm reading this considering what follows!<em>

_Anyway, pls do review and tell me what you think?_

_It really does help me to take this story in different directions and its more fun when its interactive. I would love to know your thoughts!_

_Much love,_

_Arnavi :) _


	9. A bait

_Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long! I'm back to college again so the work load is kind of getting on to me now. Anyway. Your response has been phenomenal absolutely with the number of alerts and hits. Just about 15 days and I have over two thousand hits and thousand readers already! Yayy! So a huge thank you to all of you._

_So here is the next installment. I hope you enjoy it :)_

_Happy Reading! :)_

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><p><em>Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.<em>_ – __**Mark Twain**__._

**CHAPTER 8:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

Upon entering the beautiful palace of Volterra we heard a shrill voice welcome us. The man was pale complexioned. He had long black hair, neatly tied and his vision was clouded. He was dressed as if he belonged to the medieval era. His eyes were blood red and in them I could sense enormous amount of curiosity. I had seen his face before. It was the same face that had been in the painting that hung above the mantle-piece in Carlisle's study. It was the same face that was present in Reneesme's memory. Yes, it was a familiar face – the face of Aro Volturi.

Beside him, seated on the two thrones were Marcus and Caius Volturi. Marcus had an uninterested and disheartened look on his face. It looked like he was sad and in search of something while Caius, he looked shrewd and calculative. His mind was complicated to study.

"Carlisle, my old friend. How have you been?" Aro came ahead in a slow human's pace and embraced Carlisle.

"It is a pleasure to have you here." He continued.

Aro's expression changed as soon as he pulled out of the embrace and the look that he shot in my direction was one of raw amusement. It was crude and earthy.

Carlisle simply smiled back at him without uttering a word. His thought were engaged else where.

'_No, this could not be. I hope Eleazar is not true about the new borns. But it does seem like its true. They must all be immensely powerful, anyone can say by even casting a look at them.'_

Carlisle's sceptical thoughts troubled me. I turned my head in the direction of Carlisle's eyes and only then did I realise that the room was filled by far too many vampires than I'd have liked. Seven of them stood together, all men and all having blood red eyes. There was something that was threatening about their very presence. They were all muscular and brawny. I recognised Corin as he went and joined them. Just the sight of them was unnerving.

Jasper could sense my hesitation and fear and soothed me by squeezing my hand gently and spreading a wave of calm around me. I felt fuzzy momentarily and gave him a weak smile although the fear in my eyes was reigned supreme.

"Ah! I see the new Miss Cullen has obliged us with her gracious presence." Aro said, smiling timidly at me.

"And what a pleasure to have you here Jasper." He continued. From the periphery of my vision I could see a tight smile form on Jasper's lips and his head nod, acknowledging the gesture. Jasper's thoughts however said otherwise _'Not good. Too many newborns. I don't like it.'_

"Miss Cullen, I hope Volterra has been to your liking so far?" Aro turned towards me.

I was dumb found and did not know what to speak. On one hand, there were these terrifying vampires, all looking at me like I was a Science experiment, on the other hand there was a thousand year old vampire who was trying to be Oh! So polite to me. I was... puzzled?

Jasper encouraged me to speak.

"I suppose so?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

I quickly corrected myself as a wave of confidence swept through me. Bringing Jasper along was surely a brilliant idea.

"I meant I am sure it is a great city but I have only just arrived to enjoy the city much." For the first time I breathed in air in the last eight hours. It was such a relief.

"I think that will have to change." Aro smiled at me.

"Santiago, why don't you help the Cullens into their chambers, I'm sure we could talk a little while later. My guests have only just arrived after all." Aro instructed someone without moving his eyes from me.

I would have done anything to leave the room at that instant. As we made our way out I caught the glimpse of a girl. She looked a few years older than Reneesme and beside her stood another boy. He looked almost my age. The girl had blond hair while the boy had dark brown hair. Both of them had the familiar blood red eyes and looked divinely angelic. They were eyeing me intensely as we left the room. From what I remembered, that had to be Jane and her brother Alec – two of the vampires meant to be despised and most importantly feared.

Felix followed us as we silently made our way to our supposed chambers. All along my way, I noticed the intricate carvings of the pillars and the doors. The palace was huge and extremely overwhelming. It was tastefully decorated but no where could one see a single flower or green leaves for that matter. There was only gold, gold and more gold. Some of the ornate frames that hung on the walls were brilliant works of Picasso and Da-Vinci. The flooring was expensive Italian marble and draperies hung from ceiling of every hall way that we passed before finally coming to a halt in front of three large rooms, all next to each other.

I entered my room and was taken aback by the beauty of the room. It was decorated in tasteful fashion. One corner of it had a huge bed from which hung silk draperies. The sheets on the bed were peach coloured also being silk. The other end had large French windows through which the moonlight sieved its way into the room, giving it a divine look. Beside it were two couches and a Dutch carved table with a glass table top holding a single piece of expensive vase which supported a few stems of orchids. It was ironic to have orchids in the Volturi palace, for Orchids are said to bring a universal message of love, beauty, wisdom, and thoughtfulness and the Volturi did anything but.

There were huge closets that filled one wall of the bedroom and another dresser which had a beautifully carved framed mirror. It seemed no less like a dream land. The windows were open, resulting the curtains to fly as the wind sifted its way into the room and welcoming the overwhelming smell of freesia and lilies that grew wildly in the woods and the little pond which was at some distance from the palace.

Distressed as I was, I sat on the edge of the bed trying to think and analyse everything that I had seen. Aro's wicked amusement still troubled me. I knew he had the ability to know everything about one's life by simply touching them and I wondered what he had seen when he had touched Carlisle. What also bothered me was that he hadn't even come close to me. He always remained at a safe two feet distance from me and his thoughts were extremely controlled when he had spoken to us. It felt as if he were hiding something. Speaking only what he had carefully scripted.

I wondered as to what they could have possibly gained from my visit. The presence of newborns much like me, and in such a huge number was unsettling. It felt like they were creating an army of vampires and I could sense some of them had very special abilities.

A small knock on the door distracted me and I hurried over to see Jasper standing at my door with Carlisle at his side.

"Are you okay Claire?" Carlisle asked concerned.

I sighed once and ushered them inside, closing the door securely behind me, although that wouldn't have helped with our advanced hearing skills. I knew they could still listen to our muffled conversations no matter how I tried.

"I don't know Carlisle. I feel unsure." I said honestly.

"You don't have to be. We'll be there with you as long as we can keep you safe." Jasper assured me.

I held out my hands to both of them and they grasped mine in theirs. I wanted to communicate with them in a manner no one else would know. I knew I had Reneesme's ability and was thankful for it was the need of the hour.

'_I am unsettled and unnerved. I don't know what Aro is thinking. I fear they want to attack me and both of you. I don't understand the presence of newborns and honestly their sight scares me. I could feel Jane trying to attack me constantly but my shield could withhold her and she didn't seem very happy at that. Caius has a very calculative mind and I'm sure Aro has a hidden agenda. Carlisle, are you hiding something from me?' _

My last thought earned Carlisle puzzled glances from Jasper.

"Clarissa darling, I know you are puzzled. I heard from Eleazar about these developments but only hope for the best. Please don't antagonize yourself too much. Don't see things beyond what they appear to be. I promise we'll go home safe in a matter of a few hours." Carlisle assured me.

"Are you really comfortable in that?" Jasper asked me, trying to vacillate from the topic.

"Not really." I admitted sheepishly.

He chuckled once and placed his hand on my cheek, "Get changed little one, we'll be waiting for you outside." Carlisle and Jasper then left the room and I sensed that they had a lot of talking to do.

I went over to the closet where I had placed my suitcase, and slipped out of my clothes. A warm shower would calm me down. As I stepped into the shower, at once my muscles relaxed and my mind was calm. The thoughts of Reneesme, Esme, Edward, Bella, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie filled my mind. I missed them so much. It had been merely ten hours and I craved for their company - for the happiness that I was accustomed to.

After having dried my hair and pulled it neatly into a bun, I put on a blue pencil skirt with a blue jacket that matched it. I put on my stilettos that Alice had insisted on being taken. Apparently they deserved an 'outing'. Finally when I decided that I looked presentable I made my way towards Jasper and Carlisle who were absorbed in talks with Felix and Demetri.

We were greeted to the throne room in much the same fashion as before. An ominous silence engulfed the palace and I wondered if it had always been so. Aro seemed to be in deep thought, although his thoughts were clouded and I couldn't quite understand them. I hadn't perfected the art of mind reading yet. Edward was only teaching me to get better at it. This time, much to my amazement, I could smell the scent of vampire-human hybrids. Their scent was much like Reneesme's only a little different. I searched the room trying to locate the source of the scent until my eyes rested on three girls, all of them around seventeen years of age. They looked alike, as if they were sisters. Their names were no where close to each other though. Alysiya, Lateciya and Ciara. They looked at me as if I was someone to be feared. This would explain Alice not being able to witness our meeting. She could never witness our meeting with the presence of Vampire-Human hybrids. I smelled foul play.

"Ah! Welcome back again." Aro enthused, breaking my train of thought.

"Aro my friend, I would like to enquire the purpose of our visit." Carlisle spoke after a moment's thought.

"Carlisle, is it so difficult to believe that I had just missed my friend?" he feigned sadness, I could see that clearly and wondered what his real thoughts were - what was behind that charade.

"Of course not Aro, I do not wish to offend you. I was merely curious." Carlisle stated softly.

* * *

><p>'<em>I can wait to get my hands on her.'<em>

'_What's so special in her that Aro wants her here?'_

'_She looks fine, I can only imagine why Aro must want her.'_

'_Shes interesting. It'll be great to study her.'_

'_I wonder why I can't use my ability on her. Not another Isabella Swan I hope.'_

'_Lets just wait to see till she knows what is next.'_

* * *

><p>I could hear the curiosity raging in everyone's mind. One thing I was certain of was - Aro had a hidden agenda. If I hadn't been sure before, now after hearing their minds, I was absolutely certain.<p>

"Would Miss Cullen feel offended if we asked her demonstrate her ability?" Aro asked Carlisle.

"You'll have to ask her, I'm afraid I have no say." He said, smiling weakly at me.

'_Claire, don't give away much.'_ His thoughts cautioned me.

Aro turned in my direction and called out for Jane. She was instantly at his side. She nodded at him once and then began assaulting my mind with painful memories. Much to her dismay my shield was intact and she couldn't do much. Her frustration and annoyance was giving me a sadistic pleasure as much I would have liked to deny it. My concentration however was waning. It was getting harder and harder for me to keep my shield intact as the force with which painful memories flooded through my mind intensified. I could feel the ugly thoughts creeping through my mind as Jane's eyes narrowed. I had managed to impersonate Bella's shield but it wasn't half as powerful and I wasn't practised. I had only done enough to protect myself from abilities that worked with the manupilation and profound understanding of one's mind. I realised that I could only mimic the abilities of the mind and not those that altered someone physically.

As the force of her thoughts intensified, I felt as if something was pricking my very conscience. I could remember the pain I had caused, the emotions I had felt on my first hunt, the sheer burning during my transformation. I screamed in pain and collapsed to the ground when I couldn't take it any longer. Fury flooded every single cell in my body. I got up swiftly and inflicted the same pain on Jane that she had just done on me.

Her cries of agony rang through out the castle and it gave me a sense of sadistic pleasure. It was evil, I know, but I wanted to make her suffer for having invaded my privacy savagely. It all happened too fast then, a moment later I was standing in Carlisle's secure arms with Jasper standing protectively, shielding me away from Alec – Jane's brother.

"How dare she do that?" He spat disgusted.

"It only seemed fair after what Jane did. I think we call it an eye for an eye." Jasper defended me eyeing Alec rather shrewdly. Alec's glare in my direction was intimidating but it didn't scare me, on the contrary it only fuelled my fighter's spirit. His otherwise silent mind intrigued me at that moment.

"You needn't had interceded." Alec said firmly. His angelic voice, only a bit too harsh.

"I did nothing more for my sister than what you did for yours."

Alec winced at that statement and carried Jane back to their previous position. I could read his thoughts. Although I could see that Alec and Jane never really had a very good relationship as brother and sister, I could feel brotherly love in Alec, something that Jane seemed to be absolutely devoid off.

I buried my face into Carlisle's shoulders. I could see that Jane had had a very difficult life. It was one devoid of any love and understanding. Unlike me, there had been no one to help her. She wasn't loved like family but rather a faithful slave to Aro and I could say, it really did hurt her although she'd never mention it for she was only too loyal to Aro.

Aro's shrill laughter shocked us all.

"Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! They were true after all." He exclaimed and for a moment I thought him to be a mad man.

Chelsea had the ability to strengthen and weaken relations. I soon found myself assessing and doing the same with everyone around me. As I assessed the gravity of each relationship in this coven, I came upon a startling discovery. Relationships here were merely a matter of convenience which was largely satiated by the greed of power. Every member of this coven was power hungry and only craved to supersede the other. They were a bunch of hypocrite and spineless vampires and I hadn't been wrong about it all the while.

Aro never once touched me and Alec never once demonstrated his ability in front of me. They were always kept at a distance from me.

I had once heard Jane mutter to Alec, "I absolutely loathe her. She is absolutely despicable. I can't stand her."

"Jane, you are being too harsh just because someone isn't subject to your ability and can use it against you. But I suggest we take things calmly. We don't know her weaknesses yet." Alec replied. From what I could understand, Alec was a person of cold logic.

It had been a thirty seven hours and I was counting the passing of each hour with excitement as the thought of returning home to my family flooded my mind. I couldn't wait to see them - see Reneesme.

We entered to throne room for one last time since Aro had wanted to speak to me.

"Ah! Clarissa dear, we have a proposition for you if you may approve." Once again, his voice was cautious and his thoughts clouded.

I nodded, urging for him to carry on. I knew I would refuse no matter what they'd offer.

"We invite you to join us - the Volturi. We also offer you a position of great importance and prominence. You shall have a casting vote and your authority should be next only to the Marcus, Caius and my own. You shall live by your own free will while with us. I am hoping for you to accept." He concluded his animated speech.

For a moment I couldn't digest the news.

"Unbelievable." Carlisle muttered, but I knew not out of awe and shock although he meant 'unbelievable' literally.

'_Claire, think about it darling. Don't take snap decisions. I know Aro and his manipulative ways.'_ Carlisle's thoughts seeped through my mind.

I looked over at Jasper who seemed to be in deep thought as always.

'_No, this is unbelievable. They'd never give anyone such importance. This is a lie. It has to be one.' _

After hearing their thoughts, I framed my reply in my mind.

"I'm sorry but Aro, I wonder what your casting vote means to me?" I replied, a little wary not knowing how to begin.

He was taken aback instantaneously and so were many others. Some wore shocked expressions on their faces.

'_How could she even say that? No one had ever spoken to Aro like that.'_ I heard Chelsea's thoughts.

'_This is the reason I hate newborns. They have no idea whom they are talking to and she certainly has no idea what she is being offered. She is so unworthy of it all.'_ Jane's thoughts were as always bitter and it didn't hurt me.

"I don't crave for power. All I want is a family and I can see that in the Cullens. They have helped me with everything in my new life and I feel safe with them. Besides, what would I even do having the enormous amount of power and authority you approve of? I could never use it constructively. I would always have to live with the fear psychosis and chose not to. I'm very sorry but I really don't think that I'm worthy of such an important position. "I continued.

For a moment, everyone stood in stunned silence. Pin-drop silence would probably be the correct figure of speech. Aro's stunned expression only worried me more. I wasn't scared, but worried – yes.

After a moment's pause he gained his composure again.

"My dear, would you please tell us what it is that you object to?" Aro encouraged, trying to pursue the matter further.

"It's just that, my lifestyle could never blend with the Volturi's. With all due respect, I have tremendous regard for you but I could never see myself in the position you put me. It isn't what I'd want for myself." I explained, trying not to be too harsh and being diplomatic at the same time.

"Hmm... I see." Aro said, thinking once again.

'_I'm proud of you Clarissa. I never did know you held us in such high regard.'_ Carlisle's thoughts made me feel like I had taken the right decision. It was like joining the Volturi had never been an option no matter how lucrative a proposition would have been made. I smiled weakly at him.

Jasper's stiff form never relaxed one bit until Aro had spoken his final words.

"I would appreciate if you would consider the offer once more dear. We'll wait for your reply." He pressed.

"Thank you Aro, its very kind of you to have considered me for such an influential position, although I do not accept, I shall certainly think about it." I replied. Diplomacy never failed, I had known that only a bit too well. My decision was taken and I was certain about it. I knew what I wanted from my life now; I wanted to help the community if I could in my little way having time and money in my hands. I wanted to help people like Carlisle did; I wanted to make my life worth living instead of joining a bunch of Vampires who were only self-consumed and power hungry.


	10. Deception

_Hateful to me as are the gates of hell, Is he who, hiding one thing in his heart, Utters another. – __**Homer **__(Smyrns ofChois)_

**CHAPTER 9:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**I was doubtful, yes, but never had I once thought that this could be the outcome of a short trip. I should have believed Jasper when he had told me that they weren't what they seemed. I should have taken Carlisle more seriously when he had said that they had manipulative ways.**_

Carlisle, Jasper and Aro exchanged their good-byes and we made our way out the castle doors towards the airport. Although we might have left, I suspected that Aro wouldn't give up the pursuit so easily. While parting I had heard Jane's thoughts. I remembered clearly.

'_Its time for plan B and Aro won't be happy.'_

I wondered then what she had been talking about but let it go as we settled on the recliner seats, waiting to board the flight. I still held my breath although I had controlled the burning sensation which was immensely painful when we were around Diana, but I was sure I couldn't, not in an airport which was flooded with people.

Jasper and Carlisle made way to get a book from the stands as I sat in my corner, looking out the window, thinking about the time I could enjoy a 'normal' life and join my siblings to high school. I wanted to learn more. My gaze fell upon a family. The mother embraced her child, all the while laughing while the little boy had chocolate smeared around his soft pink lips. The father looked at them with such affection that one could tell he was extremely proud and thankful to have a lovely family. I wanted to see my mother – Esme and my mother, both of them. Probably when I could control my thirst I would sneak into my own house and see how my family was. I wondered if they'd even remember me then.

It was then that I felt strange occurrences around me. I couldn't afford to breathe and smell the scent around me, but I had a feeling that my eyes were being blindfolded and my legs moved forward unconsciously. I didn't know where I was going but it felt like someone was guiding me to some place. I tried to understand what was happening to me and in my surroundings but my mind was too perplexed. As I walked further, it felt like my hands had been pulled together and locked into each other. As much as I tried to resist with all my strength, I failed.

I could hear the bustling noise of the cars that roamed the street and suddenly felt a pair of hands wrap around my shoulders, holding me securely while someone led me forward towards a car holding my elbow all the while. I struggled and tried to scream, but my mouth was shut tightly without anyone touching me. I tried harder to mimic the ability of whoever this was, but I couldn't. It was bloodcurdling. I wanted desperately for Jasper and Carlisle to come to my rescue, but I was in no position to call for help.

I was carried to a place I wasn't aware of and now as I finally did sniff the air around me, I was stunned to smell the familiar scent of Santiago and Alec around me. I knew I could mimic Alec's power if he was using it at the moment and tried to seize the golden opportunity, but much to my dismay he wasn't.

"We'll have to hurry before they become suspicious." Alec muttered.

'_Aro is so very clever. It was a brilliant idea.'_ I realised Felix was in the car as well.

Within seconds, I found myself entering the throne room again. My eyes remained shut until I felt Aro's presence around me. Upon opening my eyes, I saw Aro smiling wickedly at me and I lost all my calm.

"What do you want with me?" I snarled at him which only amused him more.

"I think I made it clear my dear. All you have to is accept our proposal and this could be dealt in a much healthier way." He said, composed as Caius made his way next to his brother.

"She is definitely worth it brother." He smiled coyly, looking at me.

"What part of my rejection did you not understand?" My voice was acerbic, closing my eyes once more, as I tried to compose myself. I knew it wouldn't be helpful if I lost my temper here for I was clearly outnumbered even if I had an ability which was extremely powerful.

"This isn't going to end well and I am not going to budge. You would rather kill me, but I will never join you." I said, stubbornly.

"We don't want to hurt the Cullens unless you make it absolutely necessary my dear. I don't think it will be good to have Edward and Bella die so young when they just found each other. And Ah! Little Reneesme must have only begun learning her grammar well until now. Surely you wouldn't want Carlisle and Esme hurt for they are like your parents and Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie are much too close for you to think of ever hurting them, am I not right?" he asked, arching his eyebrow, his expression one that was mocking my weakness.

He knew all the right places to hurt me. He knew my soft spots. I shuddered at the thought as images of the mangled bodies of my new family flooded my head, but I quickly shoved it away. I wasn't going to be emotionally blackmailed.

"You wouldn't."

"I don't see why not. I mentioned it earlier and I'm saying it again, it can be dealth with in a better fashion if you chose to cooperate." He persued the matter further.

"What if I don't?" I snapped back at him. I could say I would attack him at any moment, despite the presence of innumerable number of vampires. I wouldn't submit, even if I lost the fight, I wouldn't submit.

"Well then we'll have no way but to use extreme measures."

With those words, the thoughts of my family's mangled bodies flooded his mind. I could see the beheaded and staked bodies of Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice, and Aro feeding on Reneesme's blood.

I winced away in horror and pain. Seeing me distracted, Jane took advantage of the situation and subjected my mind to intense torture. Now that she knew my soft corners, she didn't show any mercy in bringing the crudest images to my mind. I shrieked in pain and collapsed to the ground wreathing in pain. I felt famished and it hurt to even stand on my feat as she continued with her assault.

"That would be all my dear Jane. Thank you." Aro said to the little monster that stood next to him.

"How dare you, you..." I snarled at Jane.

Once I regained my strength I showed no sign of civility and made a lunge for Jane's throat to rip it apart. But I was held back by two pairs of arms encircling my waist and once again my hands were pinned down to my side. I struggled to free myself from the iron hard grip of my captors.

The next thing I knew was I was being carried away to a dark and dingy place that smelled obnoxiously bad. I was hurled into a room like an animal and the door behind me was locked. I knew the door behind me wouldn't stop me from escaping but the people outside would.

"Looks like we got what we wanted, now all we have to do is pacify the Cullens." Caius said cheerfully to Aro.

"Yes my brother, which is exactly what we will do." Aro said, in a calculative tone.

"But I wonder how?"

"We won't brother, it will be the girl herself." Aro answered his brother's question confidently.

I stopped listening anymore. I wanted to believe that this was all just a lie, it was a terrible nightmare that could never be true. I lay on the ground, ignoring the couch and the bed in the room as dry sobs escaped my chest.

For the first time in months I felt vulnerable and weak once again. I needed the assurance and the security of my family. I needed desperately to be in my safe haven once more, but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't call upon them for help because it would only subject my family to such atrocities that one could never imagine. They would never have denied me help and would never care for their lives to save mine, but that wasn't what I wanted. It would defeat my purpose to begin with.

Suddenly my body went limp and I could see the future changing once again.

_I stood there, adamant about not joining the Volturi. I watched the ghastly sight as my family was attacked and one by one they were beginning to fall. I tried to struggle to break free from the shackles that held me captive, but their strength only increased the more I tried to break free. I could feel the guilt that coursed through my entire being at that moment. I had bought death and destruction to my family. It had been my undoing for which they had to suffer._

My thoughts snapped back to reality and I lay stunned on the hard granite flooring now believing that what Aro had said, wasn't something that he'd had said to scare me but had really meant it. My vision had confirmed my worst fears and now I was at a point of no-return.

If joining the Volturi meant saving my family from the mayhem, I would have. I was in a moral dilemma as I fought with myself. I couldn't fathom working for the Volturi. They stood on the side of everything that was evil. Their very being was evil. I could never bring myself to stoop to the level of being one of the Volturi guards, but I didn't seem to have an option either.

For how long I lay there in that room, I couldn't recollect. It could have been hours, days or even weeks and I wouldn't have known. I wondered why none of my family members ever came for me. It was unlike them to treat my absence so lightly. Surely they would have to see that I was in danger.

Finally, one day, my cell phone rang. I hurried to grab it but the door opened with a loud thud and before I could make my way to the phone, a tall dark man of African origin probably grabbed it and pulled me towards the throne room.

I now stood there, in front of Aro and his army as my cell phone kept ringing. From the periphery of my vision, I could see it was Edward who was definitely trying to reach me frantically. I hadn't been wrong after all. I knew my family would come to my aid, but that wasn't what I wanted and it could never be. I sacrificing my life meant saving the lives of nine others, I would have happily done that, especially when it was people as generous and loving as the Cullens.

"You'll have to deceive them my dear." Aro said cautiously, judging my reaction.

"I would never." I warned.

This brought another round of horrifying images to his mind and unbearable pain to my very soul.

"I can't, they know me too well. Edward will know I'm lying. I can't." I wailed.

"You'll have to try." Caius spoke this time.

"Please don't make me do this." I was hoping they'd be merciful, but I was so wrong, for the Volturi knew nothing of mercy.

The African man snapped open the flap of the cell phone and handed it to me. I was afraid for the first time to speak to my saviours. Aro encouraged as I looked in his direction, pleading for mercy.

"Hello." My voice trembled.

"Claire? Are you alright?" Edward's over concerned voice filled the room as the speaker was switched on. I didn't reply.

"Clarissa speak to us please." He pleaded as I fought very hard to hold back another tearless sob.

"What do you want Edward?" I said harshly, regretting every word that escaped my mouth.

It seemed to throw him aback for a while. After a moment of silence, the room was filled with Edward's voice again.

"Clarissa tell me what is wrong. I know you are in trouble. It isn't like you to change your mind without reasoning with us." He encouraged. I wondered how he knew me so well, he could see right through me and it hurt. I collapsed to the ground, not being able to take the emotional torture that I was being subjected to.

"It's nothing Edward. I am in no trouble. And I believe I'm old enough to take my decisions." I said back into the receiver end when my voice was a little composed.

"We came across the note you left. After what you said at the palace, it doesn't seem likely that you would consider joining the Volturi. It isn't like you Claire, so tell us." Jasper spoke this time. I could hear Esme's sobbing and Reneesme's wailing in the background as Rosalie and Bella tried to calm her. I wanted so badly to bring her at ease by comforting her in my arms but I couldn't.

One word confused me. I couldn't recollect leaving a note behind. I was absolutely positive that I hadn't left a note behind.

'_Ah! A neat job indeed.'_ That was the first time I had heard Marcus' thoughts.

I could see Aro getting restless and Caius getting agitated by my silence. Aro cleared his throat and with great effort, I managed to speak again, trying my level best in my efforts to deceive my family.

"Jasper, thank you for concern, but I only did realise the order of my priorities." I paused before venturing into deep waters for what was said now, would never be unsaid. I could chose to tell them the truth and escape but that would only bring chaos and death to the family that I loved so dearly, or I could chose to lie and spare their lives, playing Judas's goat in the process.

"The proposition of the Volturi really did give me a lot to think about Jasper. I couldn't realise it when we were in the castle, but sitting there, thinking at the airport, I could see light. I could understand what I was refusing." My voice was merely a whisper at this point.

"But Claire-"Edward interrupted.

"I know you all think that I am overwhelmed and don't know what I'm doing, but trust me on this once, it's for the betterment of myself and everybody."

With those words, I knew, I could never return back. I regretted every single word that escaped my mouth. I wanted so badly to tell them truth.

"Darling, I hope you are sure." Carlisle's concerned voice sounded over the receiver.

"Yes Carlisle, I am certain." I lied.

After another long pause, he finally said, "Okay darling, if that's what you want, but remember, if you ever feel our need, we'll always be there for you." I couldn't bring myself to reply.

"Clarissa, we love you and we'll truly miss you." Esme and Alice said simultaneously as Reneesme's wailing only grew louder and louder.

"Thank you." I whispered and then the phone was snapped shut. Once the phone snapped shut, I could see it being destroyed. It had been a gift from Rosalie and Emmett and anything that was given to me by the people I loved always held a very special place in my dead heart.

"That was very wise of you, very impressive indeed." Aro exclaimed cheerfully as I looked at the empty ground that I sat on like an undignified tortured slave. Yes, that was exactly how I felt if I was completely honest. I didn't hear a single word that anyone spoke in that room for I was only too absorbed thinking about how I had deceived my family and how I deserved no respect and no affection. Renesmee's wailing iterated in my mind time after time and I could see Esme's sad face. I knew I had hurt Edward and let everyone down. Emmett hadn't even spoken to me and neither had Rosalie. They would definitely hate me for what I had done. I deserved hatred.

I tried once more, when might failed, I took to pleading. I knew I hoped for the impossible, but I had to try. "Aro, please. Please let me go home." I sobbed as he kept looking at me with intense curiosity without uttering a word.

"Please Aro; I don't know what it is that you want. I could never be of any help to you. I'm sure there are many others who'll be talented enough to make use of the position you put me in. Just please let me go home Aro. I want nothing more than that. I can't see myself leading the life of a Volturi guard." I tried once more, almost begging for mercy like a vagabond.

"Ahh! Dear one, you do not understand how important you are to us do you?" he paused for a second, looking down at me as I sobbed tearlessly feeling weak and vulnerable.

"There are things that you are too young to understand my dear." He concluded.

"If it is regarding the Cullens, I assure you, we want nothing but a simple existence. We'll never be a threat to you – I assure you that." It was evident from his thoughts – the fear of being overthrown, but I knew we'd never want it. Carlisle would never want to go into war. None of us would ever like to put each other through hardship and pain.

"There are more pressing issues to be handled my dear. It would be best if you submitted to us willingly because we won't let you leave us anymore." His words hit me like a whiplash. With just a simple sentence, he had battered my hopes of ever seeing home again. He had thrown my request aside as if it were an insignificant little object, meant to be disposed.

His thoughts highlighted the cruelty of his nature. He was not only selfish and power hungry but also hugely sadistic.

'_No! She mustn't leave. If she joins the guards, it would only be prudent on her behalf. But if she chooses to rebel, it shall only doom her to a life of hellish existence.'_

I didn't know when I was brought to my room again. It was now the same room where I had been placed initially upon entering the palace for the first time. The scent of Carlisle and Jasper still hung around heavy in the room. I sank to one corner near the fire place and cried to my hearts content. I felt like someone had punched a hole inside my heart and nothing could ever heal it - nothing.

I was in a sorry state. For weeks together I refused to accept any help or let anyone even enter my room. I had to protect myself, now that I had no one else to do it for me. It was my duty to protect myself and my family had taught me well. If anyone even thought of entering my room, I'd subject them to the direst form of torture, shattering them immensely until they left and never came back again. I should have felt pity for some, but I didn't. They were all the same for me, all Volturi guards - all monsters.

Aro had tried to pacify me and persuade me to join the guard repeatedly by thinking of the possibilities but I had only refused time after time. I wasn't going to succumb to his earthy desires. I tried in vain to violate all the laws, I refused to feed and tried to infuriate as many vampires I could, thinking that one of them would eventually snap and give me what I wanted - death, sweet death, but it never happened.

I was held captive in this hell hole and there was no way out.

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><p><strong><em>A quick update for you guys despite the crazy schedule! Thanks for the reviews. hits and tags - keep them coming! Love you guys! :)<em>**


	11. The Plan

_You guys are totally making my day. Hugs, kisses, thank yous to each one of you for reviewing, sending me PMs, subscribing to story alerts, tagging as favorite story and favorite author! Its such an incentive to keep going :)_

_Here is your next update! _

_Happy Reading :)_

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><p><em>For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night. – <em>_**William Shakespeare.**_

**CHAPTER 10:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

_**They say, sometime to fight evil, you need to tread upon the grounds of evil too to win the battle for the greater good. Now with the clarity of vision, I had decided what I wanted.**_

I was growing weaker and weaker. I hadn't fed in weeks and the purple wrinkles were caving under my eyes. My eye balls threatening to fall off my sockets. I didn't know how long I had been sitting at the corner I was sitting for I never felt stiff. Sleep never came over me subjecting me to mindlessly painful torture. I envied those who could close their eyes for a while and detach themselves completely from the outside world. Oh! What would I not have given at this instant to snatch just a few minutes of golden silence and peace?

The Volturi were traditional vampires, they fed on human blood. I had known that well, but experienced it first hand when I caught the scent of a large group of humans in the palace. Fresh venom instantly pooled in my mouth and my eyes grew black. I had been immensely thirsty and no matter how much I denied myself, my thirst was very overpowering. My mind refused to reason and I found myself making my way towards the door. I was a predator after all.

I could hear the bloodcurdling screams of women, men and children as they were massacred. It was then that I snapped out of my frenzy. The smell of human blood was so strong that I had to catch my breath if I had to control the urgency of the thirst that reigned supreme throughout my agile predatory body, ready to pounce, although the screaming continued. I hissed and hoped that they would stop. I could hear people's last thoughts before their untimely deaths.

'_God, forgive me for my sins. I can see why you punish me now.'_

'_This can't ever be tr-'_

'_Where is my mother? What are these people?'_

'_I need to get out of her-'_

Some were too stunned to even form a response in their minds. I could sense the satisfaction of the other vampires who fed themselves to their heart's content. It appalled me. I felt sick to my core. All the while I had been repeatedly cradling myself, my head on my knees with my arms securely wrapped around myself.

I hummed a random tune to distract myself from the thoughts of those dying humans and the monsters that killed them in the hall below. It was hours before the air around smelled unpolluted again. The scorching in my throat was now more intense than ever. I hadn't given much thought to my thirst for I was too consumed in sadness, but now it seemed to demand my attention. My immediate attention.

Once again, my body went limp and I had another vision.

_Renesmee was now full grown. She stood pretty at the age of seventeen. Alice and I were trying to dress her for her prom while Bella and Rosalie fixed her hair. I could hear Edward chuckle at thoughts of his little daughter who seemed to be a damsel in distress momentarily. Happiness hung around ever corner of the beautiful vista situated in the middle of a vast stretch of land in New Hampshire as we giggled and chatted while getting Renesmee ready for prom._

I was too stunned with what I saw. I wondered if it could be true. I knew it couldn't, of course it couldn't. I was here and was held captive, and there was no way I could ever make it back to my family. Then again, I was caught in a dilemma. The visions were subjective, based on what people decided and I only saw what was my decision as of now - to leave and never return. A ray of hope was beginning to rise within me. For once, I could feel that I did have a chance to escape this hell hole if I tried. Each cloud did have a silver lining after all. I just had to see it and make give my vision the shape of reality. I would.

I got up in a swift movement and began pacing the room trying to device a plan. I knew only too well that Aro would read everything that was in my mind. He'd know my intentions before I'd know them myself. If I tried to escape, they'd get Demetri to track me no matter where I would be. Jane and Alec, the two hidden weapons of torture would show no mercy for they never were taught to be merciful. No, this wasn't going to work. I had to device something better.

A brilliant idea struck me. I decided to play their cards on them this time. If deceit and trickery had got me into this mess, they would be my playground to get me out. In order to escape, I had to deceive Aro, Caius and every single of the Volturi guard members. I had to bring them to confidence and make them believe that I was indeed going to serve them. Only if I gained their trust would I be able to deceive them later. I knew it was a long process and could take even years, but time didn't seem to be a problem at all for I had eternity to make it up to them. The only problem that lay in front of me was keeping my plan a secret from Aro. He would definitely try to see what it was that had brought me to joining the Volturi after so vehemently criticizing them and calling them immoral. Yes, I had to play a very careful game. I would have to be smart, wise and intelligent.

Understanding finally brightened my eyes. Although my shielding abilities were weak and needed my constant attention, they had saved me from the immense torture Jane had subjected me to. I could keep my thoughts shielded from Aro and show him only what I wanted him to see. He'd never have to know about my plan, I would never let him. I would have to be patient and learn the tricks of the trade and then give them a taste of their own medicine. Although my moral side wasn't in agreement, but my logical side seconded my decision. With the Volturi, there was hardly anything that one would call immoral. I knew, this was the only escape route and especially in a place like Volterra, where ethics were the last things to be given consideration and respect, I would have to adopt unethical means to escape. It was rightly said – 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.'

It was settled then. My journey back home had begun and I would do everything in my power to complete it or die trying.

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><p>I stood up and went straight to the bathroom. I looked at the reflection in the mirror. I couldn't recognise the girl. Her eyes were pitch black and dark purple wrinkles hung heavily forming sacks under her eyes. Her black hair was tousled and she looked unkempt. This had to change if I was planning to return home for Alice would be thoroughly disappointed to see me like this. I smiled at the thought of seeing them again.<p>

I took my time to shower myself, all the time humming something and thinking about ways to perfect my plan. Once I was done, I made my way to the vanity and dried my hair. I then removed a fresh set of clothes that had been arranged on the shelves of the closet. They were all black. In the closet, hung many varieties of black cloaks, black coats, black trousers, and black jackets. Every thing was black!

I found black skirts and shirts neatly folded on the next shelf and pulled out a sleek pair of well tailored trousers and a satin full sleeved button up shirt. After dressing myself in appropriate attire, I arranged my hair carefully, taking my time setting it into my usual fine curls secured together with a small clutch. Appropriate shoes - also black completed my attire. I convinced myself that I wasn't trying to impress anyone but merely buying time to settle my thoughts and keep the more important ones shielded. Aro could never know my real intentions for it would surely get me killed. If he ever knew, my situation would be the one of Didyme's - his sister whom he had mercilessly killed because she and Marcus had wanted to leave the Volturi to lead a happy life with each other.

With those final thoughts, I settled my hand on the door knob and silently prayed to god to help me in my efforts. I knew I was doing wrong by joining them even if I never had the intention to, but I had to do this - for my family, for myself.

I turned the door knob and made my way to the throne room confidently earning unwanted stares and glares from many. While my presence startled some, others seemed excited. I could here their muddled thoughts but chose to block them out of my mind. I had to maintain my calm.

"Ah! Look who we have here!" Aro enthused before I could even enter the room. Upon entering, I could sense that they were in a very deep and serious conversation, regarding something important.

"I've made my decision." I said, firmly, yet trying to be polite. The unexpected incessant stares that I had earned put me in an uncomfortably irritable position.

"Oh yes, you have kept us waiting for far too long my dear, I cannot wait to hear the outcome." He encouraged, excitement clearly perceptible in his blood red eyes.

"I will join you but I do have... one condition." I said slowly, emphasizing the last few words.

Aro's expression changed from excited to cautious upon hearing those words and it brought me immense pleasure to keep him puzzled and thinking.

'_I wonder what she'd want.'_ His thoughts were plain and simple, much to my dismay.

"Which would be?" Caius said, rather uninterested.

'_She wouldn't get what she wants anyway.'_ He thought.

"I should be allowed to continue with my lifestyle. I would prefer hunting animals and not feed on humans for survival." I presented my solitary demand.

'_Ugghh... Another typical Cullen. How dim-witted could some people be?' _It looked like Jane could never come to terms with me, be anything the matter.

"That would be all?" Aro asked, a little stunned and a little relaxed.

"Yes, that would be all." I tried to keep the slight smile persistent on my face. If only he knew what I had planned!

Aro's shrill laughter took everyone by surprise. He seemed much too amused for his thoughts to be coherent and I didn't bother reading them.

"Would you please do me the honour dear one?" he asked amused, holding out his palm in my direction.

I seized the opportunity, for this would help me acquire Aro's powers. I went swiftly towards him, without any hesitation, and placed my palm on his. It was then that the age old game of trickery and deception began all over again. I showed him all that I wanted him to see. He could see how I was changed, how rebellious I had been upon knowing what I had become, how the Cullens had taught me to adapt to my new lifestyle. Then his thoughts came upon interesting grounds. He could see himself and the Volturi guards through me eyes, how I had seen each one of them on our first meeting, how I had been tricked out of the airport, how I was held captive in the car, how I had begged and pleaded but all in vain, and lastly how I had decided to serve the Volturi.

He seemed pleased, more than pleased. I could say from his thoughts that he was impressed by my decision, if only he knew what I had planned! I chose to remain silent and keep that deceivingly sweet smile on my face, unaltered.

"Well then my dear, Welcome to the Volturi. It is a pleasure indeed to have you here with us." He laughed.

"Thank you very much Aro. I have one request." The scorching in my throat was getting unbearable. I couldn't have controlled it any longer and feared that I'd kill the human secretary if I went any longer without blood. This had been the longest period I had gone without blood, and every cell of my predator body craved it.

"Name it my dear, name it." Aro continued.

"I'll need to hunt, I've suppressed my thirst for far too long." I said carefully. The thought of blood dripping down my throat only strengthened the desire and the burning.

"Of course, but I'd rather you take someone with you. I hope you do understand." He said with an feigned apologetic look.

'_She is only too young to be trusted. I'll have to have someone around her at all times till I'm absolutely positive. Even if I know that she won't leave, chances must not be taken.' _Aro's thoughts were unsure, as I had accepted.

"Yes, I wouldn't mind." I forced a small smile.

"I'll accompany her." An angelic voice suddenly offered. I turned around to see where it had come from and much to my horror I could see Alec Volturi advance. In a minute he was at my side. Aro looked at him as if cautioning him about something.

'_Do not use your ability in front of her. She could mimic if you demonstrate.'_ Aro thought, as if he could make a telepathic conversation with Alec. Alec simply nodded like an obedient little boy. I now finally understood why Aro hadn't touched me on the first day and why Alec hadn't demonstrated his ability unlike everyone else. It was because they knew the trouble they'd be in if I had Alec's ability and also because it would have exposed Aro's intentions if he'd have touched me.

Cunning, Very cunning!

I excused myself from the throne room with a smile towards Caius and Aro and Alec soon followed behind me.

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><p><em>So far, how did you guys like it? Let me know with reviews! <em>

_As far as Alec and dearest Claire goes, I kind of like idea of how its begun with the two of them!:)_

_Its also about time we heard from Alec, yes?_

_Would you guys like an Alec POV next? Please do let me know!_

_Much love,_

_Arnavi :) _


	12. The Hunt

**_HELLO again all my lovelies! _**

**_Oh my! Where do I begin? So many reviews, PMs, alerts, fav tags, I don't know how much a simple thank you will even mean in this case. They say an author's death is due to ignorance by his readers, but you guys have been by me even when I didn't post for close to three weeks. I am so sorry for that though. I hope you understand how tasking college can get. _**

**_I'm finally back with a new chapter for all of you, and don't you worry, theres going to be another one tomorrow too AND the day after too! _**

**_I love all of you so much for all the reviews! Muaahh! Loads of love and kisses. Keep them coming! :)_**

**_For now, happy reading! :)_**

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><p><em>One must not attempt to justify them, but rather to sense their nature simply and clearly. – <em>_**Albert Einstein.**_

**CHAPTER 11:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

"How far is nearest forest here?" I asked, looking at the streets of the city, noticing that the sun was shining.

"Come on." He urged, suddenly pulling me towards a black car with tinted windows. His very touch sent a surge of electricity through me and I didn't like it. Irked as I was, I knew it wouldn't do me good if I chose to scream at the most powerful Volturi guard member. I stopped in my tracks and eyed Alec's hand on my arm. He seemed to understand and for a moment, looked at me with amused confusion in his eyes. My perception of him was quickly proved wrong when he didn't let go off my hand but instead pulled me closer, dangerously close and at that instant, my mind couldn't process my surroundings. Alec's presence was too commanding to be ignored, his aura too strong to go unnoticed. Momentarily, I found myself getting lost in his red eyes and if I wasn't mistaken, there formed an arrogant smirk on his beatific face. Anger – it pierced through me for inexplicable reasons like poison ivy and I jerked free his hold on my hand. He instantly left me and walked towards the black BMW that was parked under the shade of the palace and silently waited for me to follow suit.

I dragged myself to the car and without once looking his way got into the front seat and began fastening my seat belt. I couldn't remember the last time I had buckled my seat belt. I heard Alec's ghostly chuckle at my actions.

'_She really thinks she'll need that. Funny!'_

I turned away, looking outside the window as Alec drove us to some deserted place. The journey was a very quiet one. Neither of us spoke and Alec's thoughts didn't give away much either. He was merely... amused, iterating and reiterating our first encounter – that arrogant smirk not once leaving his face. He kept to himself, thinking about things which I couldn't relate to. His eyes may have been on the roads, but his thoughts were at a distant place, picturing the beauty of the sunset with him perched on a hill top. The sight was indeed breath taking and then I found him painting the panoramic scenery on a piece of canvas. Alec liked to paint? The revelation surprised me.

Volterra was indeed a beautiful city with its lovely cathedrals and fine ancient Roman architecture. For the first time in three months, I was seeing something beyond the four walls of my room and it was a relieving experience. I watched the spires of the cathedrals, the intricate designs carved on the fountain located at the centre of the city, the elegance of the public library, the people stroll on the streets carefree, little realising the presence of dangerous vampires in the very city they lived.

In a matter of a few minutes we were on a deserted trail. From the landscape around, I figured it was an alternate entry into one of the many forests in Italy. My mind rejoiced at the thought of satisfying my body with blood. I skipped out of the car and hurried into the woods following the instincts of my body not once mindful of Alec. He joined me in a matter of seconds.

"A little forewarning would be welcomed the next time." He muttered sarcastically. "I could say just the same." I retorted and without giving him so much as a chance to follow up the argument I quickly gave into my senses.

I could smell the delicious aroma of the wild boar and the Italian deers in the vicinity and followed the path to where they stood. Carefully, very carefully, I manoeuvred my way towards my pray and then made a lunge at its neck without giving any warning. The poor animal writhed in pain as I drained it off its blood and pranced on my next prey.

I fed myself until I felt full. Once I was done, as was customary, I turned to assess the extent of damage I had caused. It wasn't savage-like unlike my first hunting trip. I had satisfied myself with two wild boars and three deers. I straightened my skirt and smoothened my blouse and turned around to see a disinterested Alec leaning against a tree, analysing my actions. His thoughts however said otherwise.

'_She is graceful for a newborn, although I wonder how she can even drink that.'_ His nose cringed at the thought of animal blood. His eyes moved in sync with my every move. Over analytical.

I sat down on a boulder near a tree. I didn't want to go into the palace again, at least not so soon. I hadn't felt so mentally relieved in months. Now that I had my priorities in place, it would be slightly easier to 'live' among this lot of vampires, if that was what they did. I let out a huge sigh, which seemed to catch Alec's attention immediately. He had been a silent observer so far. A good looking silent observer – the worst of their kind.

The silence around us was nerve wracking and combined with Alec's presence, it was intimidating. I chose to break the silence that engulfed us, "Do you think I'll still be living in that little hole?" I asked, thoughtful, trying to make small talk.

"Oh of course not, they'll definitely put you in some place better, my room may be." He laughed sarcastically and I regretted even trying to recall the fact that he was present. His persona was such that it demanded attention, there wasn't a person who couldn't be aware of his presence and yet, he hadn't really asked for the attention he received. He walked casually and sat at a distance, at my side, a few feet away as if needing to put space between the two of us.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked abruptly, throwing me off guard.

"I don't really know."

"I don't see why that shouldn't raise suspicion." His stern voice threw me off guard again. I wondered how he read through me so easily. If I was being that obvious, I had to try harder to put on a better show.

"Aro touched me. Didn't he?" I replied trying to make a statement, wanting him to see the obvious.

"But you could have a shield, you can mimic abilities after all and Aro could never see through it." He pressed further.

"But I don't know how to use it. May be you could help me?" I turned the game on him and it was followed by a long pause. I had the pleasure of seeing his eyes widen with wicked surprise for an instant, but he was quick in collecting himself.

"Forget it!" He huffed, shoving the thought aside from his mind. Clearly, Alec Volturi wasn't one who'd fall for my plans. I would have to remain in safe waters when he would be around.

'_Good!_ _At least that ought to shut him up for some time'._ I thought to myself.

"I do not believe you." He concluded with a sigh.

"You're not the one who needs to be believe me." I whispered simply. I sat there for a few more minutes, just staring at the forest in front of me. It was beginning to get dark and I knew it would raise suspicion if we didn't return soon. It had been six hours since we'd left the palace. For once I was thankful that time was flying away so quickly, hoping that it wouldn't be long before I'd meet my family again.

Finally, I stood up and seeing my movement, Alec straightened his posture. He had been so quiet that I wouldn't have known if he were present or not. He was thoughtful all the while. There was something about his facial expression which was off. Instead, I chose reading his mind.

'_Her expressions...'_ his thoughts were muddling my mind and I couldn't take it any longer.

"I don't really stay with the animals all day unlike you." he said rather acerbically, momentarily skipping to my side. _'And the many things that follow...'_ he eyed me in that familiar manner which he had during out little encounter outside the palace.

I ignored him and made my way back towards the black car as I heard him chuckle from behind me. The trip back to the palace was a quiet one, just like before with neither of us uttering a word, but the air seemed to be only too charged all the while, much to my disliking. I shifted a million times in my seat, tried to distract myself from the nerve wracking feeling but nothing seemed to work. Alec however, seemed to be in his happy place.

Once we were at the palace doors, I could see the same stern, hard and cruel expressions return to Alec's face. He didn't seem to wait for me as we hurried into the huge reception area of the palace. The lady behind the desk – Diana simply smiled at me weakly as I passed by.

"Ah! My dears, you are back." Aro exclaimed as Alec went straight to his master and from what I could gather, he was enlightening Aro about the events of our hunting expedition or rather my hunting expedition.

"You know my darling, I have always been amazed by Carlisle's lifestyle. I have never come across such self control in my existence and I see he has inculcated that well in you." Aro said, circling around me. My body stiffened at his actions and I hissed involuntarily.

Aro skipped back to his previous place and a pair of hands seemed to be around my waist as if they were ready to hold me back if I attacked. I realised my folly and smiled at Aro.

"We mean no harm my dear." He said cautiously.

"I know. I'm sorry, it's my instinct." I lied.

Aro nodded toward Corin who was securely holding me to my place. At once, the hands were off my body and I fought the urge to tackle the vampire to the ground. From the periphery of my vision, I could see the look on Alec Volturi's face – one of anger, annoyance even.

"Before you retire, I have something for you Clarissa dear." Aro took what a piece of jewellery which looked like gold from what looked like a chest and made his way instantly to me. I held my palm out and he dropped it into my empty palms. It was a gold chain with the pendant of a intricately carved 'V' at the centre.

"This shall be yours from this day forth." Caius and Aro smiled at me and I turned around to see many others impersonate their expressions save three – Marcus, Jane and Alec. While Marcus looked sadly at me, Jane's thoughts said that she would have ripped my throat off had she not been bound by duty to the Volturi, which made me wonder how much she hated me. I couldn't fathom how some could hate me so much without even knowing anything about me. She had serious issues and I would have recommended professional help to her had she not been a Vampire.

Alec's expressions were between unreadable, pity, shock and gloom. Probably he didn't want me here like his sister. It didn't really bother me, because I didn't want myself here either and I knew I was going to leave soon. I smiled at that thought and took my leave from the throne room.

All the while, I felt a familiar pair of eyes trace my path as I walked out from the throne room, celebrating my small accomplishment. They were the eyes of Alec Volturi.


	13. Of Beginnings and Amusement

_**First and foremost - I owe all of you guys a huge apology. I had PROMISED to upload and I broke it. I'm sorry beyond words for it.**_

_**The thing is, I was having a HUGE writer's block and college was an absolute nightmarish truckload of activity this semester. I simply WANTED to get a Chapter up from Alec's perspective and I simply could NOT bring myself to write no matter what, specially when it came to First POV. I'm really very sorry. It did not come to me until maybe an hour back and struggling with words, I decided I had to give it a shot and finish this because of the continued alerts and tags I kept getting from all of you guys urging me to go on. I want to thank each one of you who kept reading this even when I didn't upload. **_

_**I really, I can make it up to you guys this time, so I'll make no promises.**_

_**A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU GUYS for reviewing, reading and tagging. I love all of you!**_

_**Now without wasting anymore of your precious time, please proceed and read!**_

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><p><em>To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement. - <strong>Joseph Addison.<strong>_

**ALEC [POV]**

There was an unusual restlessness that engulfed the castle. There was activity as opposed to the monotonous state of comfort and luxury. The predicament had been the same since the day of arrival of the unfamiliar dreaded face of the one Cullen who had instantly taken everyone's fancy. Everyone but mine.

She was unusual, yes but not out of the ordinary, or so I conceived with regard to her behavior initially.

In a short time, not only had she gained approval of those around the palace but one could see evidently, the look of admiration in the eyes of certain newborns as they would cross paths with Clarissa Cullen.

'_A feisty little one indeed.'_

I remembered watching her as she trained in the empty battle chambers of the palace with Renata and Felix. Her powers were truly extraordinary and it made me wonder what it would have been like to harness them to their full potential.

Her head had instantly snapped in my direction then. Clearly, she had read my thoughts and was aware of my intentions, for she winced at the sight of the wicked smirk I was aware of playing on my lips.

"Brother!" Jane's voice shook me out of my reverie.

It was surprising that I hadn't sensed her arrival or heard the silent trail her tiny footsteps left behind. My sister, yes it was a rarity to have her in my room wanting to have a conversation with me.

"Jane." I nodded at her as she took liberty to stand at the window. "What bothers my little sister?" I deliberately teased, smiling.

"I'm not little anymore." She snapped instantly as I continued to stare at her, grinning. "Well, not technically atleast." She corrected, shrugging nonchalantly feigning it didn't bother her.

But of course, it did and had I not known better, I would have thought otherwise.

A pregnant silence engulfed us. Jane could never confine the strangled thoughts of her crafty mind from my knowledge even if we seldom spoke. We were all that was left for eachother.

"Its…" she struggled, hesitating and fuming at the same time. "Clarissa Cullen seems to be getting on my nerves as the days pass and my inability to do anything to her is frustrating me brother." Her words were too quick for her slight Italian accent. A fact for which I had always teased her.

"I think you've made your distaste for the feisty one a tad bit too apparent already Jane."

"But you don't understand brother." She protested. "I detect something off the beat with her. Haven't you seen how she conducts herself?"

"And how might that be?" Jane's accusations seemed completely nonsensical to me for a trifling moment, but I couldn't find substantial reason pervade my mind to rebut the same.

"She is distant, aloof. Her eyes are blank, giving nothing away. No one can read her mind." She moved hastily to the other corner of the room. "Besides, even Aro seems to be convinced she is with us." She sighed in frustration.

"Jane, is it enmity that seems to be getting the better of you?"

"No it is not! How could you dare to suppose such a thing?" She seemed offended, her shrill voice shaking.

"Because there is nothing that is evidence enough to the contrary." I reasoned, despite knowing that Jane was a keen observer and that her opinions were accurate more often than not.

"Are you defending her?" She narrowed her eyes, a look of accusation flashing in her bright red orbs. "I'm merely reasoning with you." I shrugged.

A fresh waft of breeze laced slightly with the delicious aroma of the red liquid we called food floated through the window, distracting Jane momentarily and without another word, she left with much haste at once.

I followed at once, knowing I needed to satisfy my thirst before the painfully scorching ache returned to my haunt my throat, only to notice our very subject of dispute hurrying towards the exit.

I followed her more out of curiosity than having a sense of duty.

"Going somewhere?" she seemed to stand frozen at the sound of my voice. She slowly turned to face me as I made my way, standing before her. Her eyes shown fire, making me smirk.

Annoying Clarissa Cullen was entertaining; probably more entertainment I had in centuries combined.

"Care to join?" she commented snidely, her words laced with the venom she'd particularly taken inclination to.

"Not unless I was forced to." I walked into the frigid night air, effectively forgetting the irresistible urge to feed. The city of Volterra shown in its hues and glories with lights floating in the distant.

The light click of her heels on the graveled path distracted me from my train of thought. "You know, you could really spare yourself the trauma and enjoy your meal." She muttered sarcastically.

"And miss witnessing the vampire with a bunny diet?" he breathing hitched, her jaws were squared – evidence of her annoyance. "Not a chance."

Before I knew, she bolted into the night. The last I saw was the way her fiery hair danced around her face in the mischievous night air.

"You never seem to understand the meaning of forewarning, do you?" I took a seat on the nearby boulder. "And I thought you'd take a hint." She muttered frustrated, before giving into her senses.

Watching her crouched as she fed on the beast underneath her, made me wonder how easy it would have been for me to simply twist her neck and bring an end to her existence. A vampire is at his most vulnerable while feeding – a fact that was often not known. Yet, she gave it not one thought before jumping onto another prey, wrestling with it before her fangs sunk into its neck rendering it lifeless, fully aware of my presence. Could it be possible she had infused an element of trust in Alec Volturi?

"I think I'm done." She concluded a tad bit too soon. Had it really taken her only three lions to satiate her thirst? It was way less than her usual appetite.

"Decided to take mercy on those, yes?" I questioned, turning my eyes towards the mangled bodies.

"You seem to be in a chatty mood today." She tilted her head, a smirk covering her face. The first of its kind.

"And you don't seem to be too hungry. Am I to understand it was a failed attempt at an escape?" I deliberated.

"Wow, you really do have trusting issues." She sighed, sitting on the other side of the boulder.

"No, its just amusing to see you annoyed." I retorted as she shook her head in frustration.

"Really, why do you even bother?"

She started walking back at a mortal pace towards the dirt road of the forest.

'_Because, you my dear are my new means of entertainment.'_

Her head snapped instantly in my direction, the expressions on her face clearly stating her disapproval and anger. She didn't stop however.

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><p>The delicious aroma still hung heavy in the palace air as we made our return. Clarissa's discomfort was at its epitome as she bolted to the room upon tasting the stench of the death from the fresh massacre.<p>

I walked into my room only to find a young girl, nearly my age physically curled into a ball on the sofa at the far corner. The scent of her blood immediately tickling my nostrils.

Her eyes were pools of a strange mix of confusion and fear. "Are you going to kill me?" She asked unsure as her body recoiled further and further into the back foam of the sofa, wishing she could mould into it.

"This doesn't have to hurt." I placed a hand on her cheek, numbing her sensations before my lips finally came in contact with the delicious red liquid that ran through her veins. She didn't resist.

Satiating my thirst, I let the lifeless corpse drop the floor and made my way towards the library to find a good read.

The sight of Clarissa Cullen however proved to be, yet another distraction.


	14. Trust

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><p><em>"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean." - <em>_**Carl Hammarskjold**_

**CHAPTER 13:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

I had begun to realize, that life in this palace was nothing but a power struggle as I tried my level best to keep to myself and not communicate with the others of my kind in the palace. Chelsea was around me most of the time showing me around the palace. There wasn't one thing that this palace didn't have. It looked like a never ending maze filled with all luxuries but devoid of the warmth of a house. I would often find myself in the practise grounds where I'd learn to fight in battles with the help of Felix, Demetri and Renata. I was quick at learning, trying to learn everything there was to grasp. My philosophy was simple –_Take all that you can, and give nothing back _and I intended to stick to it.

When I wasn't learning skills for combat, I'd often read the books in the library which looked to be at least two thousand years old with the number of books it had. I also discovered that Diana was a pleasant lady to talk to and that I was getting better at being around humans. The fact that I hadn't killed her yet despite being thirsty at times was proof enough. I was proud of myself for once because despite being with the Volturi, I had yet to taste human blood.

Alec still accompanied me for my hunting trips and his thoughts were a little more confused each time. At times, I'd find him incoherent and I'd be worried had I been him. He still continued to taunt me regarding my unnatural diet.

I remember him telling me once about his food analogy, "Thirsty Vampire + Juicy prey = Perfect Food Chain." It was then that I realised that he could never understand why I chose abstinence from human blood, because he never understood the value of human life. For him, humans were like walking blood bags. I couldn't blame him for that was how he was nurtured among savages.

Having Alec's presence around me every moment however did have its disadvantages. Ciara, one of the hybrids seemed to have developed a feeling of jealousy so strong that it unsettled me. She had her eyes for Alec who was totally oblivious to her presence. Definitely she was beautiful, so beautiful that standing in the same room with her would bring even a vampire to shame.

She was tall, even complexioned and not pale, unlike us. Her long brunette locks hung on her petite shoulders and her physique was one to be envied. Even after all that beauty, her jealousy towards me was mystifying. I was merely plain Jane in comparison to her. She could have Alec all to herself if she'd wish, and I wouldn't meddle in their affairs one bit, if only Alec understood that.

Months passed by before I could find myself fully capable for combat. If Demetri and Felix were away on 'duty', Chelsea and Renata would often help me. Many of the newborns seemed excessively friendly and I chose to keep a safe distance from them knowing fully well that I couldn't do much to protect myself around them. I felt like I was being held prisoner in this huge castle, which was now beginning to feel like a rattrap. So one day, I put my foot down and went to request something I loathed but was compelled to do to gain Aro's trust absolutely. I had to prove my 'loyalty'.

I would accompany them for their next cleaning mission.

Rumours were that two covens were fighting to gain supremacy in the south. While one of them was growing at an unnatural pace, threatening to expose our existence, the other was at fault for instigating the entire scenario. When this news came upon Aro and Caius, a unanimous decision was taken – to exterminate both the covens. It was then that I realised that this was my golden opportunity to prove my worth, to gain their trust completely. Aro was startled upon hearing my request but was delighted that I had offered my services willingly.

"Aro, I think I have given evidence for you to trust me, now give me chance to trust you." I stated.

"Of course Clarissa, I wonder how you would like us to please you." He asked, being ever the deceiving diplomat with sickly saccharine words.

"I'd like to be a part of the next cleaning job." I said firmly and his expressions changed from sceptical to amused and then delighted.

"I do have a casting vote too right? I think I could handle it well after all that I have practised." I pushed further.

"And who would you take with yourself?" Caius asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'd like Alec to accompany me." Yes, Alec would be the best option considering the fact that I'd known him the best among all the other who were a potential alternative. Sure I did have Felix and Demetri accompanying me along with three other newborns but Alec's ability would make a world of difference since I hadn't perfected his ability yet. It was too complicated to decipher, and he didn't help me perfect it either or atleast that was what I was telling myself.

"Why would you want me to accompany you? Jane could do the job as well as me." Alec snapped entering the room from behind me. I hadn't noticed his presence until he had spoken. His harsh words took me by surprise.

"Your sister won't go to combat with me, even if it meant to save her pride." I said in a mocking tenor, narrowing my eyes at Jane who was trying her level best to inflict pain on me again, but my shield was firm in its place.

"I'm not going anywhere with her." Jane snarled at her brother angrily.

"It's not like I asked you to." I retorted icily earning another glare from her direction. It was shameful to admit, but infuriating Jane was indeed enjoyable because she could never handle people matching wits with her. She was just a big bully in the battlefield who was reduced to nothing without her abilities.

"Even if you did, I'd never." She growled at me.

"Aww... why Jane? Afraid that big brother won't be there to step in again?" I said, enjoying every minute of tormenting her. She didn't say a word and just stared at me like she'd have torn me apart.

"And besides, if there's anybody I know well here among the others, its you." I continued, looking at Alec directly who looked exceedingly livid and annoyed, as if he'd ask for death but never come with me.

"Ah! It's settled then. Alec will travel with you my dear; you'll be leaving for Brazil in two days." Aro granted me my wish upon much deliberation as we stood in uneasy silence, but I was nervous and unsure of it myself. I didn't know if I was prepared for it yet.

Alec's stern behaviour however had been unanticipated. I had noticed that whenever we were alone, he'd treat me with great consideration and always be patient with me. I had grown used to his snide sarcastic remarks about my unusual diet, my flippant attitude as he had put it. He even called me a drama queen because he thought I threw_ "hissy little fits"_ only around him to project my importance in a larger than life picture. However, in the castle it always seemed otherwise. In the castle, he'd treat me as if I were just a liability or an object placed under his watchful eye. He'd never talk much to me despite always being around. It annoyed me because I couldn't really fathom his dual nature. His mind was always controlled when inside the palace, it seemed like he was controlled by someone. I chose to ignore him until it would become absolutely necessary to speak to him.

We boarded the flight early Tuesday morning considering the fact that there'd be the least number of passengers on a flight which took off so early, however we were proven wrong. It would also help us be inconspicuous. We sat as far away from each other as we could. Demetri had sensed my discomposure as we sat in that little jet full of humans and had offered that he could sit with me if it helped but I gracefully declined. I didn't want my nervousness to be witnessed first hand by any of them and I needed some time to myself before engaging my self into something so ghastly.

Despite my denial, Alec sat beside me exchanging his seats with my co-passenger who much to his dismay did so very reluctantly and that left Alec amused. I was beginning to understand that Alec's sudden amusement wasn't something I should look forward to. It always ended with my being in the receiving end of embarrassment.

'_No, he certainly doesn't want to have an affair with her...'_ He eyed the man with a goofy smirk spreading over his face at that thought.

I tried not to cast a sideways glance at him, trying not to acknowledge the fact that he was sitting next to me. I was irked by his behaviour in the palace and hadn't forgotten the hostility I was met with every time we passed by each other. It puzzled me now that he was being so considerate. The trip was a quiet one, with neither of us uttering a word. I was too engaged into thinking how I'd fight a dozen of newborns despite being one myself. I was essentially a non-violent person but the path of violence seemed to have lured me. I sighed softly and lay my head on the head rest, closing my eyes as Alec tensed. Being hyper aware of his demanding presence needless to say was surely taking a toll on my mental health.

'_I hope she's okay.'_ Once again, his thoughts were clouded and they puzzled me. I knew it didn't matter to Alec; he was just concerned about not exposing us.

"Thinking of our Edward, are we?" he asked rather timidly. This amused me; I hadn't once expected such light hearted banter from Alec.

"You don't miss Jane?" I retorted.

"Of course I do, but she's my sister."

"Yea, so is Edward my brother."

"Oh! But you're adopted. You know I think the Cullens are big hypocrites."

"Alec, please, not now." I was in no mood for a war of words, no matter how much I'd love hurting his little ego.

"Give me one good reason why not?" he budged, smirking like an idiot.

I wanted to say something witty, something that would keep him shut, but I simply couldn't. My nervousness was starting to get the better of me. I turned away, looking out the window, not answering his question wondering how he managed to be charming even when he was being infuriating. My eyes widened for a second at the stay direction of my thoughts.

"Oh, I got my answer." He chuckled darkly and then left it at that, obviously getting the wrong hint.

I wondered why he bothered me; his hostility over the past couple of days had clearly stated the fact that I shouldn't have been allowed so soon. Alec's mood swings were giving me a hard time and no matter how I tried not to be affected by it, I didn't succeed. We landed in Brazil at local time of one a.m. the flight had been a long one and I'd have been stiff of sitting if I were human, but I wasn't.

We hurried out the airport wasting no time since we carried no luggage. Demetri guided us towards the dense forests of the Amazon where I first caught sight of them. They were twenty of them, mostly men and some women. I tried to read their minds and know why I was here to exterminate their existence. From what it seemed, their creator, a lady by the name of Zitkala had grown too greedy to have her own army in order to dominate the one that was located further south somewhere in Chile. It looked like it was going to be an ugly battle.

"So now you have a new member?" I heard Zitkala's heavy voice echoing the woods.

The seven of us emerged into their view in the typical Volturi formation of a 'V'. I stood at the centre flanked by Demetri and Alec on my sides who were flanked by Felix and Santiago while the other two were at the back.

"Well, it seems we have quiet something to deal with here." Alec muttered, hissing.

"Of course you do." Some one yelled from the opposite side.

"Summon the creator." The cold, harsh, authoritative tenor of my voice was an unexpected hurricane in the minds of vampires, stunning even the noisy ones into silence.

Zitkala stepped ahead, a tall muscular lady with tan skin that had paled due to absence of blood in the body, she had long brown hair and the same blood red eyes like those of the Volturi. She skipped ahead and stared me in the eye and then began laughing.

'_A non-traditional! Among the Volturi! Couldn't they have done better!'_ she laughed to her hearts extent and I let her, for she was going to cry so badly later that she'd wish she were killed mercifully. But that wasn't why I was here.

Suddenly, the air around us echoed with shrill agonized screams from Zitkala. She was writhing in pain on the ground that was under her feet. Two of the members of her army came forward to attack me sensing what I was doing but were knocked off by Alec.

"I'm still giving some of you a chance. Give us the gifted ones and the rest of you die." calmness came over me naturally.

"You'll never get what you want. Do all that you can and you'll never get what you want." She growled at me as I subjected her mind to more torture feeling guilty at the same time for having to do something unethical, immoral as this.

"Then you get what you deserve." The war thus begun.

It didn't take long to get things cleared. Once Alec paralysed everyone's sensory impulses, we were invincible. The massacre began with the falling of the men who were handled by Demetri, Felix and Santiago while I beheaded and staked the woman. Ever time I made a plunge for their throats, I heard their last thoughts and it was torturous.

Since they were only newborns, the rules hadn't been explained to them by their creator and they were rather unskilled. They only had brute strength to their advantage to themselves and despite some having special abilities, they were oblivious to it. All that mattered to them was larger territory, more human population, better feeding. They weren't co-ordinated when it came to fighting which again gave us the edge over them.

Lastly, it was the turn of the creator and I decided to handle it myself. She lay there, writhing in pain as Demetri and Felix guarded her and Alec left her paralysed. I finally asked them to stop making my way over to her and read her thoughts for one last time.

'_If I don't defeat them, I know someone else will. This won't hold me back. Bloody newborns, if I make it out of this mess, I'll build a coven for real and train them to overthrow the Gauchos in the south.'_ Her thoughts amazed me; there was no sense of regret or remorse within her. She had no regard for human life, just like the Volturi but her crime was even more heinous.

I finally walked over to her and holding her head in my hands twisted it so hard that it snapped right out of her body. Her body and her head were later burned just like the heap of bodies that burned at three different corners of the field.

'_She is good.'_ Alec's thoughts echoed in my head and I winced at them. I wondered how clouded his judgement had been on right and wrong, good and bad. By the end of it all, I couldn't remember how many I had slaughtered in cold blood but I tried to remain unaffected.

"We shall waste no time in heading south before the others escape." I commanded and began running southwards, towards Chile.

The others were stunned for a fraction of a second at my words. They couldn't believe that despite being on my first operation, I was commanding them into hurrying towards massacring another coven of vampires. Apparently, their gaffe was to have exceeded the limit of newborns just like the previous coven we had exterminated. They however weren't an unskilled lot. Despite being only ten of them, they would never go down without a fight, I could tell.

Talks went downhill even with this lot, if that was what the Volturi called talks, then yes, we did try to 'talk'. However I knew I'd feel immensely guilty for having to exterminate this coven for they deserved a better life. Unlike the other coven, many of the members of this coven essentially had the virtue of goodness within them. If given a chance, they would mend their ways, but I wasn't there to give them a chance, I was there to kill. I had to do this heinous act to gain the trust of a monster that held me captive.

The fight began again, not a word was spoken but the actions were ghastly. The cruelty with which the coven was dealth, I hoped no other coven had to go through. It was cruel, deceitful and barbaric behaviour on the part of the Volturi, but I knew I had no say. I went around massacring as many of them as I could. I knew they were innocent and hearing their thoughts only made matters worse. I tried to block their thoughts out. After we had exterminated everyone, unlike the previous time, Alec was the one to deliver death to the creator - a male by the name of Francesco. By simply touching him, I could see his entire life history. He had never been one to disregard the Volturi. Even now in his dying moments, he still respected the Volturi. I felt guilty for having to be the monster that I had been trained to be.

In my slight moment of distraction, I hadn't known that my death was being planned by the creator's mate. She sneaked behind me, ready to attack and I became aware of her presence only upon hearing her shrill voice as she lunged for my throat. I could see the fire in her eyes, but a second later, they were replaced by a pale emptiness as I found myself in the secure shield of Alec Volturi's arms. He eyed me, puzzled, a flicker of concern in his beautiful red eyes. I scrambled to my feet in haste letting go off Francesco leaving him for Alec to take care off. He merely nodded at me, not needing words to understand my predicament.

The others cleared the heap of the bodies by burning them as soon as they could. I went to the edge of the hill we were on and tried to remove the horrible sights I had just experienced.

I felt as if I had indeed become a soulless monster. I had butchered people without giving them a chance at life, I had let Carlisle down, I had let my entire family down. I wanted to fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness to God, to Carlisle for the sins I had committed. I wanted to weep, but my body wasn't capable of such actions any more. Upon hearing footsteps behind me I quickly composed myself.

"Why did you stress yourself so much?" Alec said antagonistically, standing beside me.

"I'm not stressed" I retorted, hoping to cover the gloom in my voice with a pinch of sarcasm and evidently failing at it.

"It was your first; you could have just watched and left the rest to us."

"No, I couldn't. When I take up an assignment, I do it completely. I am part of the Volturi now." I tried to reason with him, speaking those spiteful words.

"You really do want to be one of us?" he asked, sceptical, arching an eyebrow in my direction.

'_She really does want to be a Volturi guard? Surprising, because I wouldn't take her to be one.'_ His thoughts left me confused and I didn't bother responding knowing it would only lead to another pointless argument.

I sat down on the ground, for a while, trying to gain some peace of mind. I prayed that Carlisle and his family wouldn't despise me for my actions. I had to do this only to go back to them. It was a poor excuse I know, but at least it was the truth. I hope Alice hadn't seen it.

Alec sensed my anxiety and sat close beside me. His brow puckered and I turned around to see him staring at me with watchful eyes. His eyes, his beautiful red eyes seemed analytical, cautious, scheming and yet they also seemed concerned, regretful and kind. I wondered how it would feel to get lost in those hypnotizing eyes and escape from the harsh realities I was faced with. I watched as his steady gaze trailed from my eyes, southwards making me self-conscious.

"Is something the matter with you? You could have died out there today, do you even understand?" he asked harshly, throwing me off guard. Behind his charade I could hear his thoughts that had an edge of... concern?

It reminded me of that fleeting moment when I was almost seeing the last ray of sunlight before Alec had come to my rescue and for it, I would be eternally thankful to him.

"How does it even matter to you?" I sighed, frustrated. I knew he didn't care, he could have saved himself the brunt of having to lie constantly. I chose to read his thoughts, hoping they'd answer my unspoken question.

His body language was surely something he needed to work upon.

'_Why is she doing this, she's clearly not enjoying it, its evident, then why?'_

"Does it hurt you to give a straight answer for once?" anger was evident in his voice and I didn't care because I was equally angry but it did come as a surprise since he'd never expressed his anger before, even if he had been angry.

"It wouldn't if you didn't behave like a two-faced jerk." I replied and I could see my words had taken him aback.

Befitting, I thought considering how he had made me feel like a little fool only a few seconds ago.

'_Two faced? What?' _his thoughts echoed.

"Yes, two-faced. You're always something else when you are inside the castle and something else when you're outside. I'm beginning to think that you hate my presence as much as your sister does and honestly, I don't really care-"

"Stop. Just stop." He cut me short of my little rant.

"I don't hate your presence, honestly." He said nonchalantly.

His words seemed too good to be true. He was among the Volturi guards, and each one of them was a good liar and could never be trusted.

"What made you think I do?" he asked after a moments silence as we sat silently on the hill top, both looking at the setting sun.

"Your behaviour." I said, without once looking at him.

"My behaviour is perfectly fine." He sounded offended, replying only too soon, clearly in denial.

"Of course, of course your behaviour is perfect. You're cryptic and at times arrogant. Your behaviour towards me is unpredictable. Sometimes you're nice, like when you keep asking if 'I'm okay' and when you're in the palace, it's like you're completely a different person. It's just hard for me to figure out what your stance towards me is. Either be good, or be bad. Be one, not both. I hate two faced people. Yes, I can see just how perfect your behaviour really is." He seemed to be taken aback, speechless and blank for a split second not expecting my little tirade.

"You know no one speaks to me like that. I'm sure if you'd have known how old I was, you wouldn't either." He said in a mocking tone.

"I see the age didn't quite get little wisdom into that stubborn head of yours." I retorted, angrily looking away, afraid that if I'd look for him, I'd begin feeling the strange sensations I felt, the unusual comfort that crossed over me in his uncharacteristic presence; afraid that once again, I would fall for the charm and promises those red eyes held.

'_I must admit, her courage is admirable. She's absolutely fearless.'_ His thoughts were filled with wicked admiration and I was confused whether to welcoming the same.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked, challenging.

"I have a casting vote." For once the power that was vested in my hands was being put to good use. Provoking Alec Volturi was definitely a good way to use it.

"Yeah, I know effective that will be. One against three… right." He laughed sarcastically.

'_Two faced... right!'_ it seemed like his mind was stuck on those words.

"It may just be, you never know." I replicated his sarcastic tenor.

"So basically I'm a cryptic arrogant vampire? I like that." he concluded after a moment's pause with a heavy sigh and a dark chuckle, looking into the sun, his eyes searching for something. He seemed unaffected by my fury. His thoughts however were tranquil and calm and he seemed more at peace with himself than he had for a very long time.

An unknowing smile was forming on my lips and it was only then that realization dawned on me that maybe, maybe Clarissa Cullen was caving.


	15. Protectiveness

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><p><strong>CHAPTER<strong>** 13:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

Aro was more than delighted upon our arrival. Alec like a faithful 'pet' had shown Aro the proceedings of the mission and Aro was extremely pleased to hear it from Alec, since he was his most trusted. I had bought myself enough time to shield those repulsive thoughts from him, lest he get suspicious and was successful in doing so.

I had to report to him, and with one simple touch he could see all the developments that had occurred during the visit. I kept trying to gain their trust but what was ironic was, I was trying to hard only to deceive them again. Things had been going well and months were passing soon. Although I hadn't found a way to escape yet, I knew it would come soon and that I just needed to be patient.

Jane and I remained at loggerheads and Ciara continued to be jealous of me, no matter how I tried to avoid Alec when we were around her, but I couldn't do anything if he didn't like her! And I sincerely hoped she'd understand. Demetri took great interest to have me trained to his best abilities upon Aro's orders. I never really involved myself too much into developing any kind of friendship or bonding with anyone in the palace. Alec had noticed that, and upon asking, I had simply lied, "Well, that's how I am."

Among the newborns, there were some who unfortunately thought that they could win me over. The thoughts in their minds were crude and it repulsed me to even be around them. Such people, I kept them at bay. I remember when Wayne, a tall, muscular blond haired vampire had made his advances. I was sitting in the library reading a piece of poetry by Keats when I heard Wayne enter the room. I tried to remain oblivious to his presence but he didn't quite seem to understand it and in fact made his way straight to me.

Reluctantly, I turned around to face him, forcing a slight smile to acknowledge his presence. He took the liberty to pull up a chair and sat right in front of me. I simply chose to ignore him and went back to my reading but his constant staring was unsettling and irritating.

Finally when I could take no more I asked, "Is there anything you want?"

"Yes." He smiled lustfully at me as I waited for him to continue.

'_I want you, I've always wanted you. Any way.' _His thoughts then filled with offensive images of the two of us in situations I couldn't even have imagined. I felt my stomach churn and felt rage rise inside me. He knew well that I could read his mind and even after knowing it, he was purposfully trying to torture me with those humiliating thoughts. I decided to block them away and swiftly headed towards the exit.

He was faster. He blocked my way, a knowing smile spread on his face and I hated it. With great effort, keeping my anger under control, I hissed at him, "Get out of my way."

He only edged closer. Our feet moved in synchronisation, as his moved forward, mine moved backward. "You want this as much as I do, I know you do." He muttered wickedly and I practically growled at him. I was going to defend myself as much as I could till I really needed to use my abilities and I was close to that point by this time.

"Wayne, stay away from me, or you'll regret it." I ordered. But it didn't bring about the desired effect, he only kept edging closer.

Just when I was about to inflict pain on him, once again I found myself shielded by Alec's protective presence, sneering at Wayne.

"Leave." He commanded in a voice so fierce that anyone would have been frightened out of their skin. I was even though I would never admit.

Wayne instantly backed away feeling threatened. Of course, everyone felt threatened when Alec Volturi spoke like that, it was only obvious. His thoughts were distraught and murderous rage was definitely the main colour that covered his head.

'_No, these things don't happen among the Volturi. I'll have to ask Jane to look into it.'_ Alec thought as Wayne disappeared out of the library, and I knew only too well what Jane would do.

'_Especially not with her. No'_ That line caught my sudden interest confusing me more than I already was.

"You can continue reading." He said, looking at me slightly turning his head. The rage that reflected from his features was disturbing. Little had I known things of this manner would affect the otherwise cold and impassive Alec Volturi?

Why then was it affecting him now?

Why then had he chosen to come to my rescue? Obviously he felt duty bound, or only, I told myself so.

"Why did you interfere?" I deliberated recklessly. I could defend myself, although his presence had only heightened my confidence laced with a sense of security.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was taken aback. He certainly hadn't expected my unprecedented retort.

"I just made him go away, you should probably be on my feet thanking me right now." He stated, amused.

"I think I can handle my business." I replied icily. Alec Volturi meant danger and I had to keep him away as much as I could. His loyalty towards Aro was indubitable and I knew that if I'd slip in front of him, I'd be inviting trouble.

"Ya, I think we pretty much established that in the battle." He muttered, chuckling darkly making me hiss in the process, my tempers once again flaring.

"Why do you hate me so much?" His question took me by surprise. I didn't even know if I hated him. It's just that, he annoyed me most of the time and now particularly, I felt like he was trying to show me my weakness. The words from the first few days hadn't been lost in my muddled mind. I knew he would find ways to discover my weakness. The expressions in his eyes were something I couldn't fathom. I tried reading his mind, but it gave away very little. He seemed vexed as if fighting an emotional turmoil within himself and once again, the cold, uninterested, arrogant Alec Volturi seemed to have returned as we spend more and more time inside the palace.

Alec Volturi had emotions? Why, that really did surprise me now.

"Don't meddle in my affairs next time." I warned and stormed out of the room. Wayne had been only too sly, trying to overhear our conversation. It infuriated me even more that he was playing peeping Tom. I glared at him and clouded his mind with the feeling of intense pain. He lay writhing in pain on the very ground he stood and, soon heading to my chamber.

Alec's footsteps quickly followed behind me. "Did you just do that to prove something to me?" he asked confidently as I walked away. He never left my side once and seemed oblivious of my flaring temper.

"I don't need to prove anything. To you or to anyone." I said through my clenched teeth.

He suddenly pulled me into a corner, deliberately pinning me against the wall as I flailed like a powerless foolish woman against his strong hold. The feel of his icy skin against mine was electrifying, scary and pleasurable. I eyed where his fingers rested on my arms and he understood, following the trail of my eyes which made me believe that he could feel the growing awkwardness and tension too. Finally, I gave into my senses and gave him a small seizure, my eyes bright with red furry.

He stumbled back, seemingly not angry but definitely upset over the loss of our skin contact, frowning. "Looks like you do." His annoying confident smirk quickly replaced the frown that had been present only a few moments before as I kept rubbing my arms where his fingers had held their firm grip. How I wanted him to just disappear into thin air like they showed on TV. He was positively enjoying our banter and I detested it just as much. My thoughts were beginning to get as clouded as his and I didn't like the feeling of confusion that threatened to overpower my mind in his presence.

He stood close, dangerously close once more, invading my personal space and I knew that either of us moved an inch, his icy skin would have met mine once again; as much as I secretly craved for having one feel of it, I struggled to distance myself from him, wanting him close, dangerously close.

"Leave me alone." I hurried to my chamber, away from Alec, away from this feeling of irritation, away from the feeling of rage and away from the feeling of security and a very strange desire – a desire to touch him and be touched by him in return.


	16. Alec

**_Hello again everyone!_**

**_Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and send me a truckload of PMs, if I haven't thanked you guys already. I decided to club up two chapters because posting only one wasn't making much of a sense which is why it took me some time._**

**_As you guys would have guessed by now - SOMETHING IS BREWING (and it's about time we took it a step further) so, I decided to give developing the relation between our two a shot. _**

**_I hope you enjoy this chapter._**

**_PLEASE be nice and review - Exercising your fingers is good! It helps you write quicker in examinations :P_**

**_Happy Reading! :)_**

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><p><em>The passions are like fire, useful in a thousand ways and dangerous only in one, through their excess. -<em> _**Christian Nevell Bovee.**_

**CHAPTER 14:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

Sometimes it made no sense to even plot a way out of this palace because it was constantly under guard. My spirits would often dim when I'd realize the days that had passed by without much success on my part.

I was tired of contsantly having to bear Jane's growing hatred towards me and Ciara's envy. Aro's delight was annoying. Caius saw me as a machinery to be used for both offense and defence, though I'd never comply – and they knew it. They thought patience was the key and that time – being a good healer would eventually heal my wounds and make me forget what I was and embrace the world of the immortals and their beliefs – but that was where they were wrong.

Marcus's indifference and Alec's new amusement didn't quiet help either. After that day at the library, it was hard to even face Alec – it felt strange, I must admit, if I was being completely honest. I had been horribly angry and irrational. Yes, it was true that Alec's mere presence in that room had put me at ease, at once, but that very thought had scared me to great extent.

Could it have been possible that I was begininng to enjoy his company and wanting it all the more?

Want for something which was forbidden for good reason wasn't very wise.

I shoved that thought aside and continued with my practising. I had to practise; I had to imporve my combat skills if I desired to escape. It would have raised great suspicion among everyone if they'd find me in the practise grounds always and that wasn't something I could even wager to think about. It was immensly difficult to try to fight oneself, almost implausible as one would say, but that was the only way I could learn.

Once again, I tried to concentrate, this time on using my abilities. A small knock on the door failed all my efforts. The scent at the door hit me like a fresh waft of air and I knew very well who it was at the door. I didn't need to read his mind nor speak a word – it was Alec.

What really surprised me was that he was being well mannered and knocking like a gentleman instead of simply breaking inside. I didn't respond and he didn't need a response.

"I'll take that as a yes – come in." He smirked, making his way into my room as I stood still, grounded to my spot.

"Are your lips glued?" he asked when I didn't reply for a long time, walking around and analysing every aspect of my room. I realised it was indeed the first time he had stepped into my room, or atleast the first time he had set foot into this room since my arrival.

"Hmm..."

'_Interesting.'_

"I'll take that as a yes too." He continued being his annoying self. Seeing my silence, he realised I wasn't up for a conversation.

"What were you doing?" once again, the feigned interest coloured his tone but there was a slight glimmer in his eyes. I realised I was analysing his every move.

"Just... reading... a few books." I replied, shrugging as if it wasn't very significant. None the less, he arched his eyebrow as if questioning me. He knew I was lying. Damn! Was I that bad a liar? Or was he beginning to get accustomed to my company, knowing when I lied?

"Not all your questions need to have answers." I said, once again, turning around to go back to my book that was left dog-eared on the coffee table beside the window. Coffee table that was never used for coffee!

'_Ah, the woman has a fine taste in books.' _He looked for a fleeting second between the dog-eared Anna Karenina and me.

"I didn't ask you anything." He smirked.

I was lost not knowing what he wanted was very frustrating. His clouded mind and ever changing thoughts were beginning to take a toll on me.

"Come on, attack me." He said in a brusque manner, suddenly changing the subject.

"What?" I was astounded, not believing what I had heard for a moment.

"I haven't got all day you know." He muttered trying to be sarcastic. When I didn't respond, he finally decided to throw me an open challenge, his face transforming, knowing I could not resist.

He bent down into a crouch and narrowing his eyes grinned wickedly, "Afraid are we?" even then, he looked every inch as beautiful – despite being the predator he was. His challenge was enough for me and I pranced at him like an agile lioness.

I should have known, no matter how he annoyed me, he was a vampire atleast three hundred years older than myself and would be an adept fighter. I only began to realise my folly when I missed every chance at attacking him. He was too skilled and I had to accept that. Although I did manage to surprise him on two occasions, that didn't make him one bit less skilled as a fighter.

Even as a fighter there was a cetain charm he held. His movements were leathe and swift. It appeared as if fighting in combat came to him naturally. It was a delightful sight to see Alec fight sans his abilities. My mind cringed once more as I realised I was beginning to notice everything about him only a bit too much and that it was clearly _**not**_ a good indication.

With having funny thoughts about Alec, I was ill at ease. Not feeling very comfortable, I snapped out of my crouch and straightened myself.

Alec narrowed his eyes at me, analysing my actions as I sighed. "What?"

"Nothing." I sighed.

He broke out of his crouch and made his way swiftly to my side. I knew a round of interrogation would soon follow and I certainly wasn't up for it. I knew I'd snap and then speak more than required without thinking, which was scary to even think off. So before he could even open his mouth to utter a word, stealthily I attacked him from behind, pulling his hands behind his back and my cannines at the nape of his neck.

Chuckling slightly, I whispered, "I win."

He stiffened upon my unexpected attack. From the look of his face, I knew I had done my job well and left him astounded! But then it all happened too soon.

One moment I was rejoicing my sweet victory, and the next moment, I was pinned to the wall with my hands in his firm grasp, fixed to my stomach. Alec's face was only inches from mine and I could feel his lean body edging closer with every second that passed by.

"I think the cards have turned to my side." He chuckled wickedly at me. His closeness and his scent were over whelming. It was one of the sweet nectar the bees collected - honey and caramel blended together. The cool wind that was blowing in the woods near by made his scent stronger and I breathed it in, savouring every moment of the divine ecstasy I was in.

My body ached to lean in only a little closer; to fill the gap that separated our skin; to give into my impulses even if they weren't helping my cause.

I snapped my eyes open to see a smirking Alec who was eyeing me with wicked amusement filled dark eyes. I was embarrassed for having behaved in such a manner – to be overwhelmed, to have made my self so vulnerable, but I couldn't help it.

Breaking free from his hold, I sped out of the door and wondered mindlessly in the palace, hoping that he wouldn't find me, that he wouldn't follow me.

The last thing that crossed my mind was Alec's throaty chuckle as I sped out in my haste. It took my breath away and left me confused and messsed up.

It was an awkward position to be in and I didn't know if I enjoyed it.

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><p>From that day forth, I tried to stay away from Alec as much as I could. My judgement always seemed to be clouded when I was around him. Sometimes I'd catch myself staring at Alec for no reason at all. It was like my body was attuned to him, his movements. When I was caught, much to my horror, Alec wouldn't throw a puzzled look my way as he normally would. Instead, he'd smirk confidently at me as if he was accomplishing some personal mission. Alec's presence left me feeling bizarre yet made me feel comfortable. I pacified myself by thinking that it was merely due to the fact that I always had him around and he was like my second man.<p>

Gaining Aro's trust I must say had its own perks. For quiet sometime I had been thinking of asking Aro for something I wouldn't have thought possible. I wanted to be allowed to go alone for hunting. Quite honestly, it was getting annoying to always have someone practically play nanny to me at all times and it didn't help with Alec dutifully complying with that particular job.

I needed to hunt and saw this to be the one opportunity to ask for what I wanted.

"Aro, I need to go hunting." I knew, I needed no permission, but I had to inform them at all times lest anyone got suspicious.

"Yes my dear, you and Alec can leave." He smiled at me. His thoughts were a blur and I couldn't comprehend why it was happening.

"Aro, I think it's about time you start trusting me to let me hunt by myself." I hesitated and feigned some annoyance. I hoped it was a good indication for him to understand what I was really asking for.

After a moment's pause, Aro's eyes brightened and his then fuzzy thoughts started becoming clear once again. He was convincing himself into thinking that I had indeed embraced their beliefs to leave the palace undoubted, at my will. He was also considering that I have a body guard present with me just like Alec and Jane, but I wouldn't need a body guard. _The body guard would rather need me_ and both of us knew that well.

"But of course, I should have thought that you would doubt our trust. You may leave for hunting and I give you my word dear one that, from this day forth, you can enter and leave the palace as and when you will." He chose his words carefully and I knew that I had successfully completed taking another step towards going home.

I was happy_ – very happy._

Smiling to myself, I made my way towards the palace doors. As I left, I could feel many stares boaring into my back. From what I could gather, this was probably the first time they had seen me smiling or expressing any emotion apart from annoyance, anger or disgust. I let out a small laugh hearing the thoughts in their mind as I left, but my hopes of being alone were battered soon.

Alec was standing there, leaning against the door, waiting for me. Irritation flared within me but I knew I should have only expected him. I could have avoided him altogether if I chose to, I had Aro's approval after all and besides, after today I'd never need it again, but something within me refrained me from telling him anything. I didn't resist and spoke not a word.

I walked in human pace once out of the palace doors and made my way towards the black car. A knowing grin spread over Alec's face as he followed me immediately. The journey was a quiet one. Alec seemed unusually at ease, his thoughts tranquil; expression smooth and for once I didn't want to disturb his peace of mind. His thoughts weren't usually filled with gloom or sadness so strong that it took me by surprise to hear them. Alec's sadness wasn't something one ever witnessed and I wouldn't get to see it myself had we ever been at the palace. Even now, when it came to reading his complicated mind, I couldn't get more than a glimpse as he quickly pushed away the thought, knowing well that I could read his distressed thoughts. I kept thinking about the depth of his soul. I knew he considered himself to be a creature so dark that he was devoid of a soul, but that wasn't true. There was an Alec Volturi hidden behind the mask of the murderer he was portrayed to be.

The visions of seeing Alec paint, his thoughts of sitting on a hill top adoring the beauty of Mother Nature, his undaunted affection for his sister, they were proof enough to confirm the presence of his soul - A soul that hadn't been nurtured under apposite guidance, a soul that was yet to be discovered.

An odd feeling of sadness hovered on my mind and despite my best efforts, I couldn't bring myself into thinking something other than the torturous life Alec and Jane must have undergone in order to be cold hearted and hard as they projected themselves to be. My thoughts dwelled on the life of Alec and Jane Volturi. For a moment I felt pity for them. I wanted to sympathise with them, but then I realised, I was venturing into unknown territory. They were like icebergs, there was always more hidden from view than one got to see and I didn't know how applicable it was in their case.

We came to a halt within a few minutes as I manoeuvred my way out of the car. It was a different forest today. I welcomed that change since I had rendered my previous hunting ground off its fauna and it was time to look for new pastures to satiate the beast that dwelled deep inside me. Without wasting any time, I let my instincts take over me, a routine which I had followed as if it were customary and fed myself to my dead heart's content. I could feel the blood of the beast trickling down my throat as I licked my lips lustfully to taste the delicious fluid that I called my diet.

'_That was beautiful.' _

The words my mind was hearing, startled me. I realised they had come from Alec and my calmness and composure went right out of the window at that moment.

"What?" I asked, a little surprised, a little annoyed.

He seemed to be taken aback. "Did I miss something?" he asked confused.

"What was beautiful?" I pushed.

"You read minds. Yes, I should have remembered." He sighed unhappily, as if I was invading his privacy, which being perfectly honest, I was.

"Do you read my mind... frequently?" he hesitated, unsure of his words, a little nervous I would reckon.

"Sometimes, yes." I admitted sheepishly.

"It's not like I can help it." I defended myself when he didn't reply.

"Yeah right, is there something you can't do?" he was overdoing his sarcasm, but since I was in a pleasant disposition, I didn't take offence.

"It's not like I'm some kind of copycat or a Xerox machine." I scoffed rolling my eyes.

"What is a… _Xerox machine_?" he asked, slightly confused. I couldn't believe the startling discovery I had just come upon.

Alec Volturi did not know what a _Xerox machine_ was! I couldn't control my laughter and burst out into fits of it. He looked was shocked, annoyed and then embarrassed.

"What are you laughing for?" he asked uninterested again. I hoped he'd get used to speaking his mind by now since he knew I could read his every thought.

I composed myself, not wanting to infuriate him further, "You don't know… what a… Xerox machine is?" I asked as another fit of laughter swept over me. I couldn't bring myself to stop at the thought of Alec being so ignorant to modern day technology.

"I didn't see the need to." He replied icily.

"You don't know what a Xerox machine is!" my giggling continued, embarrassing him further before he finally snapped.

"Well there are a lot of things that I know about, and you wouldn't even have heard about them. I am over four hundred years old after all." He tried to match wits with me, failing in the attempt.

"Yeah whatever, but you still don't know what a Xerox machine is!" and this time, we both laughed at the absurdity of the topic we were discussing.

'_Even her laughter is beautiful._' His thoughts suddenly brought an end to my fit of hysteria.

"What was that?" I looked at him with a guarded expression, although I must admit, a thrill of joy shot through me hearing those words.

He knew what I was talking about, "Okay, I'm trying hard not to think." He answered my question to his unspoken thoughts holding out his palm to me as if trying to refrain me from bombarding him with any more questions.

I let my mind wonder as I sat on one of the branches of a tree nearby while Alec stood beneath, amused by my childlike behaviour.

"You seem to be cheerful today?" he questioned.

"Yea, I was just realising… that… it's been… two years since I was changed." I replied, for once not thinking of rebutting him. It had been two years since I had seen the face of my parents, my brother, my entire family. The images in my mind were now blurred. I couldn't even remember my mother's face clearly. A sense of loss swept over me as I thought of my family that I had lost two years ago and the one I had lost another year and a half ago. So much had changed, I had changed.

Alec remained silent as he sat beside me while we both watched the sunset on the lone hill; not knowing what to say for he had never experienced what it was like to lose something. He already had everything before him, placed on his platter, served to him such that he needn't make an effort. Yet, it felt like despite having everything, he had nothing.

The atmosphere of the palace seemed to have changed as we arrived. Diana was smiling at me, as always. As Jane passed us, she snarled at me and Alec tensed at his sister's actions. Ciara and her sisters seemed optimistic about something. She gave me a confident smirk as I passed her.

'_Its me, I know it. Now she'll be able to do nothing about it._' It didn't take me long to realise that her thoughts were centred on Alec, and I felt a surge of unknowing protectiveness towards him for a fraction of a second. I shoved that thought under my shield, knowing that Aro couldn't discover that particular piece of information.

We made our way to the throne room where Aro and Chelsea seemed to be in a deep conversation but fell silent upon our arrival.

"Ah! Did you have a good trip dear?" he asked, taking my hand in his as I showed him how I pounced on the animal and like a beast drained the poor creature off its blood.

"I see." He smiled at me. I knew for sure that Aro's mind was brewing a plan. I couldn't really locate what it was though. Once again, my mind couldn't catch his thoughts and upon touching him, I could only catch glimpses of two figures - a male and a female standing hand in hand. Their faces however were blurred and I didn't seem to comprehend its significance.

Chelsea's thoughts however, caught me off guard.

'_Alec will mate… hmm…'_ my head snapped in her direction and my eyes grew wide for a second as I saw her locking her eyes on Alec who seemed to be pacifying his sister as to why he hadn't been able to spend time with her off late. She had taken offence, or so it seemed. Ciara's thoughts made complete sense to me now.

'_Clarissa however… Uhh… her shield. It'll just make matters so much more difficult. I bet she is shielding.' _Chelsea held her head between her two palms as Afton, her mate comforted her. I didn't know that her abilities were ineffective on me. I hadn't ever realised the possibility of such a thing.

Her intentions however were questionable and I should have realized that it was only a matter of time before her actions would drastically affect my life.


	17. Emotion

**_Once again - Hello everyone!_**

**_Sorry for the late update but I had my university exams and there wasn't a chance I could even afford to glance at my computer screen if I intended to score! _**

**_Anyway - the next installment is here. And I hope you guys will be nice enough to leave a review and let me know what you think!_**

**_Oh - and once again, THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING MY STORY AND LEAVING REVIEWS AND BEING WONDERFUL PEOPLE! :)_**

**_Happy Reading!_**

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><p><em>Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tunes without the words, and never stops at all. – <em>_**Emily Dickinson.**_

**CHAPTER 15:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

Chelsea's thoughts had been wedged in my mind. It didn't bother me that she couldn't manipulate my feelings but what worried me were her plans regarding Alec, although they shouldn't really have. The changes were very noticeable. Alec was always more controlled and would often be with me when we were in the palace, much to Jane's dismay. She was fuming, disgusted with her brother for siding with the 'enemy'. Alec's disgruntled disposition hadn't been a bother to me for a while, save lately. I could see it when we were out, either on a cleaning mission, which was a rarity off late or we went hunting, Alec looked more peaceful, he even laughed at times. In the palace however he stuck by me without knowing what was driving his actions thus. He was fidgety and irritated more often than not.

Now that I was allowed to leave and enter the palace upon my will, I started plotting my exit in a more refined fashion. I kept thinking of ways I could leave to never return. Aro trusted me entirely; it was evident from his actions. Chelsea however, she could see through my plans vaguely for she knew I was shielding. What she didn't know was the thoughts Aro shouldn't have ever been aware of that were being shielded.

I had often tried to stretch my shield like Bella. I realised my shield was weak. At first, it would never go beyond me, but slowly upon practising, I was able to stretch it over my head and a little close to myself. I often tried to place my shield on Alec without his knowledge and when I was successful, he'd look at me in a manner that would have me shudder, although shuddering out of fear or pleasure, I couldn't tell. At times, it felt like he knew I was shielding, he had been the first one to guess after all.

Off late I had also been having constant visions of the Cullens, my Cullens. I could see them at their new mansion; of course they had to move away from Forks, lest people got suspicious. If I was lucky, I'd see them happy and enjoying themselves as Alice and Rosalie would seize any opportunity to pamper Renesmee whose images were now almost a blur. I could see them at high school and how they stood out from the rest of the children, for they really weren't even children, were they? It wouldn't be long before I joined them. With those thoughts, I smiled to myself and pushed them under my shield where they could stay unharmed and concealed.

Aro and Caius were delighted with my abilities because I could foretell and read the minds of the vampires who came into the castle. I now became both an offensive and defensive weapon to Aro. He'd make me look into the future to tell him of the vampires who would be joining the Volturi and locate them, which made it easy for others to capture them.

When I had some spare time, I would often find myself venturing into the streets of Volterra by myself. It was always a lovely opportunity for me to become familiar with the escape routes from this city. I satisfied myself with enough knowledge with every street in Volterra. The sun was mostly up in a place like Italy and it cut short my outings. Even though we used the heavily tinted black cars, it wasn't possible for us to evade the sun on stepping out of the swathe. So when it wasn't sunny, I'd grab the opportunity to roam around the streets. It was a good thing that my eyes had now gained the colour of caramel. It looked more natural and less threatening. They looked almost... human, although I remember my eyes to be hazel when I was still human. I'd strut around the city, trying to stay as inconspicuous as I could, never touching, and never needing a break for some food or water. No, they weren't my needs anymore. All that seemed mundane to humans, now held a special place in my heart.

I missed being human, I missed everything about it. I missed all the mundane needs, the ephemeral nature of human life, the ageing, the changes it brought along with it, while I stayed, untouched in my seventeen year old beauty forever. Never moving forward, stuck at my age forever. My body would never change, it had lost it's ability to.

Alec would always accompany me when I went out to venture the city on foot. I must admit, we'd often turn quiet a lot of heads. Humans thought we were a gorgeous couple, little realising that we seemed gorgeous to them only to lure our prey. I had insisted on Alec using lenses when he'd come out with me, considering the fact that his eyes were a deep shade of red but he had laughed off my suggestion. Eventually, however, I had been proved right. For some strange reason, he'd never really leave my side and always accompany me wherever I went. I convinced myself into thinking that it was probably Aro's idea to have someone spy on me and what could be more inconspicuous than plotting some one I knew well with the little mission of his, but how could he have moulded Alec's thought to suit his needs, I couldn't fathom. Alec always had a peaceful demeanour as if being around me brought his constantly vexed mind immense tranquillity. I was beginning to wonder that he enjoyed my company. My heart unknowingly burst with happiness at his small approval, confusing me further.

I left that thought aside for a while. Life had been stressful, even for a vampire. Plotting my idea to go back home wasn't an easy one and with Alec constantly hovering around, it was getting increasingly difficult to even show a sign of uneasiness. The city of Volterra was indeed a beautiful one. If I had only been able to appreciate it's beauty through the tinted glass then, I could truly see what made it so beautiful now. My eyes could assess the perfection of every carving on the stones, my ears could hear the splashing of water from the fountains at the heart of the city, and my skin could feel the lovely breeze that whistled around the city.

Often I would find myself analysing the strength of the bond between a mother and a child or a brother and a sister, or even a husband and a wife and most of the times I'd be surprised with what I'd perceive. Every time I'd hear a mother and daughter have a light banter, I'd smile. It would remind me of my mom and often cause Alec to eye me with uninterested concern. Only, everytime his thoughts said otherwise. They were always warm.

"Look there, such a sweet child!" I pulled Alec by the sleeves of his coat, once and he shot me a questioning look before I realised what I was doing. From then on, I tried to keep my hands to myself, but that just didn't seem likely. I would be too amused by silly little things at times and it was a good thing that Alec was getting used to it, although he still tensed and his thoughts still became haphazard when our skin met.

The cool October wind blew in the city of Volterra. It was the month that witnessed the festival of Palio dei Rioni. It was a festival in which different towns competed in a race, pulling iron horses on wheels to win the trophy _El Baston de S. Bassan_. It was a cloudy day which gave us the golden opportunity to witness the proceedings of the race. Every town had three teams and each team had two members. A gun shot signalled the beginning of the race and it went on until one of them reached the finish line. I could feel the anxiety and the excitement that radiated from people around me. The excitement was such that despite being dressed in complete black attire and wearing clothing appropriate for the cold winter, no one took notice of either of us.

Alec was hesitant as ever to even accompany me to the festival until I had decided to go myself. Only then had he very reluctantly followed me, and it felt like he was duty bound to do so. If I could admit, I found it only too joyful to compel him to do things he wouldn't have done otherwise.

'_She'll drive me to the verge of insanity some day.'_

It would be a lie to say I didn't take offence at his thoughts because honestly, I had never asked him to accompany me in the first place. The race was followed by music and dance under the street lights with variety of dishes which would have made my mouth water if I were human. Alec cringed his nose even at the sight of it and that made me roll my eyes. Men and women began crowding the dance floor as they danced to the beats of classics Italian folk dances. It was beautiful, and the beats were mesmerizing. I wondered what they called the dance.

"That is the Tarantella - the Italian folk dance." Alec answered my question, pausing for a second, looking at people gathering.

"The first dance originated in the Naples region. It was originally a courtship dance performed by couples whose rhythms, melodies, gestures and accompanying songs were quite distinct featuring faster more cheerful music." He continued.

"Its origins lie in a fifteenth-century fusion between the Spanish Fandango and the Moresque '_ballo di sfessartia_.'" Alec explained, and realisation dawned on me that I had wondered my question aloud. The accent to the Italian words from his mouth was beautiful.

"Is there a legend behind it?" I asked, surprised by his knowledge on the dance form. I hadn't expected him to be the one that enjoyed dance, or may be he didn't really. He probably knew it just by reading about it. I couldn't picture the dark, mysterious Alec Volturi tapping his feet to the beats of the Tarantella. It was hilarious, even the thought.

"The legend tells that someone who had supposedly been bitten by the tarantula or the Mediterranean black widow spider had to dance to an upbeat tempo to sweat the poison out." He sighed looking at the men and women who danced away in gaiety. There was an unexpected sadness in his voice though his eyes gave nothing away.

"It's beautiful..." I sighed, looking in the direction where his eyes were seeing.

Alec leaned back against the light pole while I kept tapping my feet and swaying with the motion.

"Come join us." A lady pulled me along with her into the crowd. Thankfully I was wearing gloves, and she didn't notice the temperature of my skin. Alec tensed and jerked straight for a moment as I looked in his direction for approval. But before I knew, I was in the middle of a group of men and women dancing their hearts away to glory. A happy smile spread on my face and I could hear my laughter for the first time in many months. It amazed me that I was happy. Yes! I was happy. I joined the humans, trying to do many things I thought I couldn't ever do again.

Trying to feel human for once.

Trying to give myself over to my emotions.

Trying to live again.

Trying to feel alive!

I took the opportunity to glide my eyes around, analysing every possible piece of information that I could grasp of the streets around me. It would be the perfect place to get lost in and keep Demetri at bay because he would be confused with my scent with so many humans around. I felt happy, as if I had accomplished some mission. It was a good thing that I was here tonight. The road home was becoming a clear one with each passing day. It was the first time I felt relieved and a little light headed upon my arrival in my personal hell. Only, the thought of one other made my plans of returning home not particularly appealing and the one other was Alec Volturi.

I returned back to my original place only to see Alec looking at me with intense red eyes. His eyes held an unusual glimmer in them that I had never seen before. I simply smiled at him and much to my surprise, his signature smirk spread on his angelic face. He gave me his hand to take in gentlemanly fashion as we headed to the palace in the dead of the night, making me laugh as he attempted to impress me with his witty humor.

'_I could get used to this.'_

As could I, I thought for a split second not exercising the much needed caution I should have.


	18. Confession

_Hello everyone!_

_Thanks for reading, I hope you are enjoying it so far. Now this one is one of my favorites so I'd be glad be you would review._

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_Happy reading all of you guys!_

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><p><em>Passion, though a bad regulator, is a powerful spring. – <em>_**Ralph Waldo Emerson.**_

**CHAPTER 16:**

**CLARISSA [POV]**

We arrived at the palace a little later than usual that night. Aro seemed pleased with the fact that Alec and I had been spending time with each other, although he dared not to show it on his face. Chelsea on the other hand didn't seem very happy. She was close to the hybrid Ciara and who had her eyes set on Alec and it was then that I had realised that Alec's rude behaviour towards me was because Chelsea often tried to lure him to Ciara.

Off late, I had been hearing rumours that troubled me once more. My life seemed like an unending journey of misery and apprehension. This time around, it was a rumour I hoped would be true and not true at the same time. I had overheard Caius and Aro silently talk to each other one day.

"The Cullens are gathering forces once again dear brother." Aro whispered.

"Yes, I wonder why it would be." Caius said, thoughtful. This piece of information only heightened my curiosity and kept my hope alive of meeting my family soon. I felt a sudden surge of thrill and happiness shoot through me, but I kept my emotions under control.

"Do you think, by any chance, they would be coming back for the girl?" Caius asked, speculative, weighing their chances at winning the war. His hopes seemed dashed upon the reminiscence of the previous time. I was glad that Bella would always be there to protect them from any harm befalling on them.

"I hope not brother, I hope not." Aro replied, but his voice was filled with uncertainty and a slight hint of trepidation.

My eyes had been growing darker and I realised I had been going thirsty for too long. I needed to hunt. Although I had the freedom to leave whenever I liked, it felt as if it were customary to always have Alec by my side during my hunting trips. I searched for him through the palace and found him at the chamber of his sister. Although I didn't go any where close to the chamber and uttered not a word, Alec somehow sensed my presence and was making his way to me instantly. I turned around and began leaving when he caught up with my pace.

"You were looking for me?" he asked, curiosity shining in his maroon eyes.

"It was nothing. You should go back to Jane." I didn't want to earn more unfriendliness from her. As it is, she was making my life a living hell, constantly trying to find holes in my shield, which would often cause me to concentrate very hard to keep myself protected whenever around her.

"No, its been taken care of, what is it that you wanted?" he pressed. He had an undeniable sense to provide me with what I needed and I couldn't help myself from falling for his gallantry.

"Well, I was just going hunting, so…." I trailed off. We were now at the palace doors. Once again, Alec flashed a small grin and waited for me to join him at the door of the black car.

Like always, I hunted as Alec leaned against a tree, looking at me as if I were an object to be analysed. His thoughts had often troubled me over the past few times we had come out. They always took an undesirable course and I feared upon hearing his thoughts every time. They just reminded me of Chelsea's words - _Alec will mate_. I so desperately wanted to believe that it was me, but at the same time, I didn't. I couldn't afford to. Alec and I could never be, and the sooner I came to terms, the better it would be for me.

Suddenly, as I was hunting, a delicious aroma clouded my nostrils. I could feel my nostrils flare and my eyes grow dark with desire. It was scent that smelled like no other. It smelled divine, addicting, mouth watering and most importantly, satiating. It was the smell of human blood. I heard the faint footsteps on the trail near by, they were a group of four. All men. I was confident that they wouldn't even mind if I was the one delivering death to them, personally. My feat moved in the direction of the humans, as if their blood were calling to me.

"Clarissa?" Alec spoke my name with much caution as I bend down into a crouch, readying myself for the hunt. I growled at him once not wanting to reciprocate.

I found myself running in a state of frenzy in the direction of the delicious scent of human blood. It was false to say that humans were lured by our inhuman beauty and sweet smell where as the fact was that we were lured by their tempting, mouth watering blood. I hid behind the trees and waited for an appropriate opportunity to prance on my prey. But the opportunity never came. Instead, I realised I was being carried away by a firm pair of arms that were circled around my waist, holding me in their iron hard grip as I retaliated to be free. Although I struggled to be free of the stronghold, the pair of arms only held me firmly and carried me to a place that would be more than fifteen miles from where I was previously.

My mind started regaining consciousness from its sudden stupor. I didn't know what had happened until Alec set me on my two feet. I wondered why he was carrying me; I was perfectly capable of running. Realisation then struck me. I recalled my horrific behaviour and the scent of human blood once again as it tickled my nostrils. I stopped breathing. Needing a moment to calm myself and bring reason to my mind, I sat down on a boulder with my head in my hands.

I couldn't believe how close I had come to killing those four humans. I was thankful of Alec's presence. Had be not been there to stop me, I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself for the consequences that would follow.

'_At least she didn't kill them. Does human life really mean so much to her?'_ Alec's thoughts echoed once more through my mind.

"Thanks." I muttered, thanking him for the first time. He shrugged as if he had done nothing at all. I wanted to know why he had helped me, but I knew he'd never answer that question if I'd ask it to him directly, instead I chose to read his mind, but once again, his thoughts troubled me.

Vexed between concern, dilemma and... affection, Alec Volturi was turning out to be a bundle of confused emotions just like me – Clarissa Cullen.

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><p>Months began to pass as if they were days and with the passing of each month, I found myself growing more attached to Alec, although I dared not to show it to anyone. I couldn't find an explanation for wanting his presence every time, wanting to hear his bickering which now seemed to be a rarity. I missed our bickering.<p>

It always scared me to think that Alec was to mate, and at times my mind was even thinking of my chances much to my horror. I knew I could never be his mate. It wasn't to be. All I had to concentrate on was getting back home. Alec Volturi was merely an accomplice, if that's what I could call him, but at the same time, he was more than it all.

My emotions scared me. No! I couldn't permit myself to any physical or emotional attachment to anyone in this palace; it would be the last thing I'd ever want. I was a mess of emotions.

What troubled me more was the fact that my abilities were beginning to diminish. I began to realise that more the number of abilities I collected, the weaker they became. Upon touching Aro, I now couldn't read his thoughts well. Sometimes, I couldn't even hear his thoughts from a distance. My visions were beginning to get clouded and it worried me. I wanted to talk about this pressing issue to someone, but I was scared. If Aro found out, I couldn't think of the trouble that would befall upon me. There wasn't anyone I could trust in this palace to talk to them restraint, hoping that they'd understand, save one - the one I had been so desperately trying to avoid. No matter how much I did, fate only pulled us closer together.

'_Her scent is delicious, I wonder how potent her blood might be. It won't be long before I found out._' It didn't take me long to realise that these were Alec's thoughts.

I searched his mind to locate him and to my horror found him in his chamber with a sly Ciara sitting on his bed. Anger and irritation flared through me and for a moment a wave of jealousy so strong swept over me that I couldn't stand for her to be there.

'_Now we're getting somewhere. I've finally found my mate. I've wanted him since I first laid my eyes on him, how lucky could I get I'll have to thank Chelsea.'_ Her thoughts not only appalled me, but more importantly shocked me.

There she was, trying to seduce Alec, and he was thinking of draining her off her blood. It was like he was having his personalised supper in his room. You could quiet literally call it - the heights of misunderstanding!

'_Ah! The scent of that blood.'_ Alec's overwhelmed thoughts once more clouded my mind.

I knew I had to act before things went too far, before he killed her. I hurried upstairs towards his chambers and stepped in without even bothering to knock, being an uninvited guest. Both of them were taken by surprise to see me standing there.

'_What is she doing here?'_ they thought in unison.

"Your sisters are searching for you." I lied to Ciara. I had to get her to leave somehow. I knew Alec wouldn't budge when it came to his prey, I had seen him ruthlessly attack the poor wolf in the forest the other day and once he had begun, he'd never stop until he was satisfied.

Ciara was miffed by my very presence, but she couldn't do anything about it.

"They can wait." She said, firmly. Certainly she didn't want to waste her time with Alec, despite being oblivious to his true intentions. I wondered how dumb people could be!

"But Aro can't you idiot." I muttered, and much to my surprise she seemed to be taken aback by my choice of words.

'_Aro! Aro wants to meet me?'_ her thoughts suddenly became incoherent.

"Aro wants to… Aro wants to meet me?" she stammered, amazed. The hybrid sisters were not given their due attention. They existed in the palace like furniture, inanimate.

"Oh yes, very very keenly. You wouldn't want to keep him waiting." I said in a cheerful disposition, hoping that I had fooled her. Apparently, I had.

"Are you sure?" she tried to confirm.

"Yep!" I quipped, like a child trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Hurry! He's pretty impatient you know." I encouraged her to leave, and to my happiness and relief, she actually brought my pathetically false story. Yes, she was dumb!

From the corner of my eye I looked at Alec whose face was now covered with a slight smirk, although I couldn't really trace the reason. His thoughts were clouded or probably, my ability wasn't at work again. Ciara hesitated at the door, looking at Alec, hope once more covering her mind.

"Another time then." Alec sighed at her and I glared at him while she reciprocated his words with a sly smile. I wondered how suicidal she really was to get herself killed at the hands of Alec Volturi. She made no haste in leaving his room, leaving the two of us alone.

"Can't you just stop picking on my mind for once?" he asked, a little irritated. Yes! Of course he was irritated, not only had I invited myself into his room but also shooed away his sumptuous prey.

"You were going to _**eat**_ her!" I hissed almost in shock.

"Well, not eat technically." He replied with a contemplative look on his face, thinking about the correct word he could use. I rolled my eyes at his unconcern.

"So what brings you here to my… room?" he said, smiling wickedly, emphasizing on the words 'my' and 'room', which instantly made me feel uncomfortable.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something." I hesitated. He nodded once and signalled me to the couch while he sat on the chair opposite, facing me directly. I made my way over reluctantly.

"I can't seem to control my abilities." I began, not knowing how to say what I wanted to say. I had been forming too many convoluted sentences off late. It was time I began learning my grammar all over again.

He waited for me to continue, "Some times, I don't get the images I should, today I couldn't read Felix's mind." I lied, knowing I couldn't tell him that I had always tried to read Aro's mind. "The other day, upon touching Chelsea, things seemed blurred; my visions are clouded off late. I don't know what's happening to me." I finished my little rant as he gave me patient hearing. I was stressed as I sat with my head in my hands.

"May be you are saturated." He smirked once again.

"But I don't even think I've hunted." I was lost. I wondered what pun he could possibly imply through that particular sentence.

"I didn't mean with blood." He chuckled at my absurdity, side tracking me once again with the beautiful sound of his ghostly chuckle.

"Have you spoken to Aro about it?" he asked cautiously after a long moment's pause.

"No." I whispered, looking into the moonlit night from the window that covered one side of his room. I realised it was the first time ever that I had entered his room, and now, that was without invitation. I cursed myself for having been so reckless, but then again, it had been to save a life.

"It seems to me that you can't control your abilities when you acquire too many." He concluded after much thought. A small 'v' covered his brow.

"I think so too."

"May be you should speak with Aro, he could help you." he suggested. I knew I wouldn't. Aro would be the last person to know about my problems.

"May be." I sighed.

Without my realising, Alec was instantly at my side, sitting at the opposite side of the same couch I was seated on. I felt odd, uncomfortable as the air between us seemed to be charged of electrostatic current. It was unnerving. His thoughts were incoherent, it seemed like he was about to confess to some heinous crime he had committed, although there wouldn't be something more heinous than what he had attempted to do or had already done on several occasions before.

He edged closer, his eyes now glimmering with anxiousness, a confident smile spreading on his face. I was too dazed by that brilliant smile to read his mind. I sat there, perplexed.

"So do you read my thoughts… frequently?" he asked, grinning. His words threw me aback.

"Yea, I do… sometimes, when its necessary."

"Like when you need to shoo away my prey?" he asked sarcastically, a small laugh accompanying it.

"Exactly." I quipped.

"Hmm… And what have you been reading off late?" he asked, rather amused, that smirk never leaving his beatific face.

"If I began, I'm sure it'd make a hefty list."

'Have you read this?' he now began to assault my mind with images of him watching me with tender eyes. 'And this?' another image of me pulling on his shirt, 'And this one?' The last one startled me, it was one where he was seeing me dance with the humans while a thousand emotions swept over him.

"I wished I had never met Edward!" I muttered under my breath, feeling slightly embarrassed and flushed. I didn't know what to do then. He was intimidating and yet safe. He was an egoistic idiot yet the best of them all. He was sarcastic, yet funny. He was disinterested yet concerned. He was Alec.

"Edward…" he muttered sarcastically, looking away. I wondered why he winced at his name, it wasn't like I had said anything offensive, and then, realisation dawned upon me.

"You're jealous!" I accused him. He thought I had a liking for Edward?

"Oh my god, I don't believe this." Disgusting wouldn't even cover what I felt right then.

"He's my brother for crying out loud and... and... married!" I whined again.

"You are ridiculous and I'm leaving." I finally decided and stomped off his room while Alec followed me swiftly, keeping pace and once we were in my room, much to my dismay he locked the door behind him.

"Did you just reject Alec Volturi? Because no one ever does that." He said, edging closer.

"Oh! I was of the opinion that I just rejected an artificial mink coat!" my humour seemed to be getting the better off me. Once again, we were arguing like we always had.

He laughed unashamed for a while, "Your sense of humour seems to be surfacing. Is it because it likes me?" he pushed further. I couldn't imagine a flirty Alec, and this one was surely giving me a hard time to match wits with.

"Nope, no, not at all. There is nothing in me that likes anything about you." I said dismissively.

"Is it?" he edged closer than before, our feet moving in synchronisation, his moving forward while mine, backward. His glorious face held me captivated - mesmerized, with that smile never once leaving his face. I couldn't think of a single word to answer to his question.

I came to a halt suddenly as my back hit the wall behind me.

His close proximity should have disturbed me, but it didn't.

I should have moved away, but I didn't.

My mind should have been ringing in alarm, but it didn't.

He leaned in closer to me as I lifted my head to breathe his intoxicating scent.

The next thing I knew was that his hard and cold lips were crashing against mine while his hands held me tightly to his body circling around my waist. The intensity of the kiss was so strong that it left me famished. As the kiss deepened, all signs of rationality left my mind. I found my treacherous arms encircling his neck, pulling him closer to me as if I needed to feel his presence, needed to confirm that this was really happening. I was losing my self control and he noticed that. Taking advantage of my incoherent disposition, he arched me further to an angle that would break any human, his lips never once leaving mine.

My mind kept telling me I had to stop, but my body wouldn't co-ordinate. We stood there practically devouring each other's mouth like animals for what seemed like eternity. It was me who pulled back and I realised I wasn't the only one gasping for air. No, we didn't need to breathe, but the sensation was so overwhelming, so intoxicating that its weight would have crushed me had I not breathed. Our foreheads touching, as we breathed heavily.

"That… a piece of poetry should be written on it." He huffed.

"I thought you liked to paint?" I was confused.

"I do, but I meant, for you to write a poem about it." He joked once again, being his witty self. His laughter was addicting and I was afraid, that I liked it more than I should have.

"I don't write poems." I replied breathless, always wanting to match wits with him.

"Too bad." He chuckled once and then cupped my cheeks in his hands before kissing me in an over persuasive way again. Like before, I didn't resist for my will power melted to jelly with the feel of his lips on mine. It was something I wanted to experience over and over again, only that I knew, I couldn't - I wouldn't.

The door opened with a loud bang and it literally made me jump out of my skin to see a snarling Jane and a disgruntled Ciara standing next to her. Jane's violent thoughts were disturbing.

"So now you're siding with the enemy?" she sneered at Alec and then looked at me, racing forward to cause me physical pain since she couldn't affect me with her ability. I was too astounded to speak. It all happened too soon. At one moment, I was seeing Jane charging towards me and in the other, I saw Alec stand in front of me like an impenetrable protective shield. I tried to move forward, but he pushed me back.

"She isn't an enemy and you wouldn't want to hurt her." He snarled back at her. Instantly, I felt guilty for being the cause of the fight between the brother and sister.

"Please don't fight over me." I tried to plead, but Alec cut me off.

"Stay out of this." He said, in a harsh tenor silencing me with his abrupt anger.

"As for you," he was now looking at Ciara. "You should probably be on your knees and kissing her feet for keeping you alive." He said menacingly, while Ciara stared baffled. Understanding slowly brightened her eyes and she shuddered at the thought. Her feet moved backwards, slowly and she ran away from the room as fast as her legs could carry her.


	19. Love

**_"While everyone has a capacity for love, its realization is one of the most difficult achievements" – Erich Fromm._**

**_CHAPTER 18:_**

**_Clarissa [POV]_**

Alec turned his attention to his sister who was trying desperately to make her brother see 'light.'

He sighed and bent down before her and took her little hands in his. "Jane, I know it's been very hard for you, and it still is."

"I've always done everything in my power to make you feel well, not make you uncomfortable. I care for you Jane, you know that little sister. But I think its time I found someone who completes me. I got this one chance to know what its like to live. Don't ruin it for me. " He paused for a while, trying to compose his thoughts, give a frame to his sentence. At that moment, his dead heart was full with emotion and then he began again, "I got over it Jane, and so should you. Don't hold on to it so dearly little sister that it does nothing but hurts you." he pleaded with Jane while she winced away. From Jane's thoughts I could say, I was clearly an unwelcomed presence.

Deciding to give the brother and sister some privacy, I made my way quietly out the bedroom door, closing the door lightly behind me. I could still hear their banter. Jane's disgust and anger was apparent no matter how Alec tried to appease her. The feeling of guilt within me only intensified. I felt miserable now for having even thought of having a chance with Alec. I would have cried, if I could. Not knowing where to go, I made my way to the library knowing that I'd always find my solace in books.

Hours would have passed and I wouldn't know, although it had been only twenty minutes. I could still hear Jane yelling at her brother and now he was beginning to lose his cool too. I was afraid, he'd say things to her that he might regret later, but thankfully Alec knew better. I ruled their thoughts and conversations out of my mind and concentrated harder on what I was reading. Suddenly a knock on the door surprised me. The depth in Alec's words had moved me. "I found someone who completes me." He had said and my heart was bursting with emotion. I wondered if it could have been possible for Alec to reciprocate my feelings. Our brief encounter had certainly said so.

"Mind if I have a seat?" it was Ciara's voice that interrupted my train of thought. I simply shrugged indicating that I didn't.

"Well…." She hesitated. "I… I guess, I should thank you." she concluded after much thought. I shrugged again, replying as if it wasn't necessary.

"Sorry for misunderstanding you, I should have known better." She apologised once again, and I simply gave her a tight smile, nodding in her direction. The banter upstairs in the castle had finally come to a halt. It seemed eternity before Jane spoke again.

_"I don't understand brother how you could turn against me for that little-"_

_"Jane, don't. You know nothing about her. Don't."_ Alec warned her. It felt warm and fuzzy again to have Alec defend me, but this time I let the emotion sweep over me. This time, I did not fight it, I did not feel like I was losing. Rather it felt like I was winning.

"I'm sorry brother but you'll have to look into yourself well." Jane replied to him and then turned and left the hall way.

"I think I'll take my leave now." Ciara, brought my attention back to where we were. I reciprocated with another tight smile and left me alone in the room again. I didn't know that I could be such a problem for Jane. I really did feel bad for having 'dominated' her brother like she had said it. If she'd allow, I would probably apologize to her, to make her feel better. Provided, she'd let me.

After having thought of the whole scenario and being tired of being consumed of self guilt, I got up slowly and made my way towards my room which was now empty. The scent of Alec and Jane still hung heavily in my room, which reminded me of their argument, once more and I thought I was moping again. I made my way over to the bed and sat down heavily, thinking about the events that had unfurled and brought about that drastic change in my life.

I tried to think of a suitable justification to pacify myself. I didn't know why I had reacted in such a manner, why I felt safe in his presence, why my body was overwhelmed at his very touch, why my mind couldn't help but think of him, why I couldn't remove the pictures of him hunting with me, why I hadn't been able to pull away from his kiss but instead reciprocated every unspoken question his lips asked. There was no answer to them, none at all. But again, there was just one answer - the one that I was most scared to think of, the one I always wanted to be true, but couldn't think it to be possible.

I was in love with Alec Volturi.

My world revolved around him and the sooner I'd accept it, the better it would be for me.

The pressure was too much to be carried on my shoulders. I was about to lie down on my back when I noticed a small piece of paper on the bed. The script was elegant and from the look of the paper, I could tell it was exactly the same material as the one that had contained Aro's note. I picked it up and read it…

_"Waiting for you. Don't keep me long or I'll move on. - Your newly rejected Mink Coat"._

A smile instantly spread across my face. Reading Alec's note made me forget all my worries and I couldn't help my feet as I went searching for his thoughts. I found him to be sitting on a chair in his room, reading a book, his mind calm, thoughts peaceful.

I was deciding to knock on his door, but instantly felt stupid as his thoughts once more caught me off guard. 'I can't wait all night for you to come in.' of course he could smell my scent.

Typically Alec. I smiled once and placed my hand on the door knob, prolonging the moment, as nervousness swept over me. I could hear Alec groaning inside impatiently and finally decided to push to door open.

He still sat there, with his back to me, reading a book, but I could tell he was smirking his signature smirk. I walked inside slowly, thinking with each step I took. Alec got up impatiently and within a moment I saw him closing the door behind us, sending me into another fit of nervousness. He was eyeing me with such impatient lust that it became impossible to look back at him. If I were still human, my face would have turned beetroot red.

One moment, I was standing there, with Alec at least at a mile's distance and the other moment, I was suddenly on his bed, with him crouching over me, my hands pinned to the side.

"What are you doing?" I asked alarmed.

"Whatever you think I'm doing." It looked like he decided to play havoc with my head first, and then my heart.

"I don't know what you're doing." I replied, trying to prize an answer out of him.

He edged closer, his glorious face again, only inches from mine. His scent was tantalizing and I hated the way he kept me dangling in the middle, being incredibly close but not close enough.

He whispered against my lips, "You do realise what can happen now, don't you?"

"Y…yes." My voice was hoarse and throaty, my breathing jagged while I stammered even speaking the single worded reply, and he chuckled looking at my expression.

"And what do you think can happen?" he asked, mischievously, flipping us over. He held my hands tightly to himself, holding me hostage while a side of my body pressed to his, my loose hair falling on his face.

"Well…" I began, slightly embarrassed, not knowing what to say. Never once had the thought of confessing to Alec what I felt for him crossed my mind.

"Go on, I'm listening." He relaxed now, confident, his hands over his head while the smirk stayed on his face and he looked at me as if he were waiting for an explanation.

Looking at him, in that situation, I knew I couldn't resist.

"Well," I began slowly. "I may pull off your jacket first." I said rather coyly, my fingers trembling as I tried to push his jacket away, he moved underneath to ease out of it. "And then, probably unbutton that shirt…" I said, slowly, gliding my fingers carefully on his smooth satin shirt and that was enough to have Alec take control. Once again, he flipped us over, taking charge. For once, I felt like a lady in his presence.

"That's enough." He growled and made his move towards my neck, kissing every inch of flesh his lips met. I giggled, "But I wasn't even done-" he cut me off by crushing his delicious lips on mine and I was lost in the most overwhelming sensation. He kneeled on the bed with me on his lap while our lips moved in synchronisation. One of his hands cupped my face while the other held me tightly to his lean figure. I couldn't seem to keep mine off his glorious face.

The kiss deepened and I didn't realise what we were doing until I felt his hands caress the curves of my body, trying to make their way under my shirt. We lay on the bed, while I pushed him away for a while, trying to look into his eyes. He wore a confused look at my actions.

Afraid to admit, but I was thinking of what course my actions were about to take. I pulled away from Alec and was met by a quizzical look in his now dark smouldering eyes. Only the expressions there were my solace and I knew, I would never love some one so much for my entire being. I knew it would hurt to leave him now, to deny my undying love which I had always felt for Alec even though unknowingly. I also knew that he was a Volturi guard, someone not worthy of my trust, but he was also my mate - my partner. Or was he really?

With the turmoil of emotions in my mind, I finally decided that I'd give us just this one night - One night of being together, one night of closeness, one night to remember, although it would hurt for the rest of eternity to stay away from him and I didn't know if I could.

I pulled his mouth back to mine and he reciprocated every unspoken question mine asked him. It wasn't long before Alec's shirt was on the floor - in pieces if I may add and it didn't take long before my clothes joined his on the ground either. It began slowly, gently, like it was always, but the urgency in both of us clearly took us in a different direction. Every inch of my body craved for his touch. Making love to Alec was an exhilarating experience - one that I wished I could get used to, but I knew I couldn't. He was gentle and demanding, patient and anxious. He was all that I could wish for - all and more.

He made me moan.

He made me scream his name in pleasure.

He completed me.

We lay holding each other in our grasp as his fingers trailed slightly on my arms, all the while, his thoughts distant yet peaceful. The moonlit night made it all the more special, making our marble skin shine in all its glory. For the first time I could see a huge scar across his arm. I lightly treaded my fingers upon it as he tensed and looked up at him questioningly. He simply shrugged, but his mind gave me enough information to enlighten me of the fiery battle he had been involved in, which had earned him the scar. Once again, I ran my hand through it, hoping that it would cease to exist.

Alec sighed, "You will have to admit that, that was the best experience of your life."

I laughed lightly, snuggling closer into his chest as his lips now started skimming over my forehead, "I totally second that." I answered.

"Wasn't it for you?" I was scared of letting him down, I had never known what it was like to make love to anyone, not even as a human had I had the experience.

"Well…." He began, being his egoistical self. It was extremely difficult to prize answers out of Alec Volturi - almost equivalent to removing bricks out of a cemented path way. His mind however gave him away. The images from our recent love making spread through out his mind. He was being rather visual than I'd expected.

"I got that." I replied, quickly, not giving him a chance to come up with a witty sarcastic response. "But-" he began to revolt but I cut him short again, "I got it, its okay." And he knew he had lost the debate.

He continued to trail his fingers down my arms, leaving that part of my cold hard skin, intensely frenzied and warm while his delectable lips captured mine in another searing kiss. For how long we stayed there, with each other, needing each other, I couldn't tell, and it didn't matter as long as I was with Alec - in my happy place. He was my safe haven, he was my solace, he was 'my' Alec.


	20. Courage

_**Author's Note:**_

_**I understand due to my long absence many of you must have gotten tired of waiting and moved on. My sincere apologies to all. I had my reasons and my preoccupations, also a long writer's block to complete the ending. I hope you all can understand and respect that. However, I truly feel sorry if I left you anticipating (and I suppose I did leave a significant number).**_

_** Here is to the next chapter! **_

_**Happy Reading.**_

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><p><em><strong>One seeks to make the loved ones entirely happy, or, if that cannot be, entirely wretched. - Jean de la Bruyère.<strong>_

_**CHAPTER 19:**_

_**Clarissa [POV]**_

Aro was exceptionally pleased with the way things had developed between Alec and I. Jane however remained at a distance even with her brother since they had their last fight. Alec had sensed my guilt every time I came face to face with Jane and she looked at me with pained and hate filled eyes.

"She doesn't know what she wants." He told me once, when I had asked him why he was trying to pacify her. I decided not to pry on it further, knowing that he wasn't ready to share everything about his life with me... yet, and I wouldn't push him. I knew he would open up when he found it appropriate, I could wait for him.

After that night, every thing changed. I had changed. I couldn't fathom how I'd live without Alec. The past week had been a whirlwind week. Alec hadn't left my side once, even if that meant for a moment. His expressions, behaviour, reaction, everything towards me changed. Every time he was near me, I was involuntarily aware of his presence. I persisted in my efforts to try and shield Alec from Chelsea's powers to see if he really did feel the way he felt for me and much to my happiness and sadness at the same time, his responses were more intense when I shielded him.

I remember once when I had tried to shield him, he instantly turned around and attacked my lips with his, like a starved animal in front of Felix and Demetri. I regretted my actions upon hearing them howl with uncharacteristic laughter. Alec only winked back at them, which left me completely flushed.

One night, I stood facing the window while the cool breeze sifted through my hair, my mind fluttered to places it shouldn't have. Once again, a sense of loss, a sense of insecurity swept through me. Once again, as I thought of Alec, I was caught in a dilemma. I wanted to be with him, give him everything I could, I had to give, but at the same time, I wanted to return home. I craved to see the faces of the eight immortals I called my family. I knew where they were, and with the freedom I had, I could escape any time I wanted. But the question was, could I really?

Chelsea and Aro had placed their trap very strategically and I had hopelessly fallen into it with out their help. I was so deeply in love with Alec, that it made me sick some times to even think of life without him. I found myself getting tensed when he wasn't around and as soon as his face came into my vision, a feeling of security would spread through me. He seemed to understand me. Our bantering had stopped. Most of the times I'd catch him staring at me when we'd read together in the library. I now also had access to his books which were arranged on the book shelf of his room. From the choice of books he liked, it amazed me that he actually liked reading books which were based on profound human emotions. I had thought him to be void of emotion initially, but my perspective had changed, the more I began to know him. But fate had ideas of her own and it wasn't in our power to change them. It was ironic to think that just when I was beginning to know more about Alec, just when he was coming out of his shell and showing me more of himself, I had to move away.

Alec's footsteps echoed in the hall way and in a moment, they were making their way towards me as the door shut lightly behind me. I tensed once, sighing, but continued to stare, out into the dark, moonless night. It perfectly described my world – dark.

"Its really nice to know that you hold so much importance for me." He stated – amused, putting a hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him directly. I knew I had given myself away.

I sighed heavily again, relaxing my shoulder, looking away from his peering eyes, but a smile didn't cover my face which normally would have to his comments.

I was right when he lifted my chin to face him directly with his index finger. Not a word was uttered as we stared for a moment into each other's eyes. He edged closer and gently brushed his cold lips on mine, causing me to tremble. He caught me in his strong arms before my knees became weak and I collapsed and walked at human pace towards the bed, never once moving his lips away from mine. As he settled us down on the bed, my mind filled with thousands of unanswerable questions. Every thing felt wrong.

When he kissed me it felt wrong.

Our embrace felt wrong.

When he lowered me on the bed, it felt wrong.

I pulled away from Alec with much reluctance and a lot of will power and moved away from the bed. He held my hand, stopping me in my tracks.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked troubled, and tensed.

_'What could I possibly have done to hurt her?'_ his brow creased with worry, and I so desperately wanted to erase it from there. He hadn't done anything to hurt me. The irony was, it was me who was going to hurt him. I was going to hurt him by going away.

"Not tonight Alec." My voice was heavy and I desperately wanted to cry and find a passage to let go off the stress, but I knew I couldn't.

Alec's mind was covered with worry._ 'Did I not meet her expectations? After that one night... we never... but she did say she liked it... did she really mean it? I...'_

"It's not that." I breathed heavily once again, answering all his worries.

"Then what is it? You haven't once..." he trailed off, as if he were embarrassed.

My heart melted to subject him to such torturous circumstances. I pressed my palm to his cheek, wanting to take away all his unnecessary worry. He grabbed it with his hand and kissed it lightly, inhaling my scent.

"I'm not saying, not never... but just... not tonight."

"Is it related to me?" Of course it was, everything in my world now centred on him. Had he not understood that by now? Had I not made it apparent?

Every time we touched, every time we kissed, every time our fingers twined, the way my body moved in his presence, synchronizing with his, had he really not noticed anything?

"No." I lied.

"It's just that... I need some time. That's it." He edged closer, looking me straight in the eye. His eyes narrowed at what he saw there, and I hoped they hadn't given me away. Once again, he bent down to bring his lips close to mine.

"Aro needs me." He groaned as I stopped him. Both of us knew it was lie. He looked at me, concern reigning supreme in those beautiful red eyes. With that, I swiftly made my way out of the room. I knew I was hurting Alec, I couldn't help but hurt him and I had to put an end to it before I could hurt him more.

I turned to the last person I would have ever thought of speaking to in this castle. I had never heard from him for he always kept to himself. Only once had I heard his thoughts, when I was leaving for my first mission. He seemed sad and detested the idea Aro and Caius had in mind regarding the extermination of the second coven. That one vampire who was essentially good, who had even the slightest essence of goodness, who was not power hungry – Marcus.

With trembling hands, I made my way into the throne room. Thankfully Aro and Caius weren't present. I had seen in my vision that they weren't in the palace. It made it just perfect for me to have this conversation for they so very rarely ever left the castle. Marcus looked up once at me when I opened the door of the throne room and then looked away again.

I made my way slowly towards him and then stood in front of him, at least a foot away. He looked at me with questioning eyes and his brow furrowed.

'You're troubled little one.' It was more of an observation that a question. I merely nodded.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked in a small voice.

He smiled weakly and signalled me to come to him holding out his palm in my direction. He took my hands into his as I stood in front of him. Being around Marcus was very different as opposed to the presence of Aro and Caius. I bend down, to a sitting posture on my toes as he started showing me his entire life. Through Aro's gift, it was possible for me to see the three thousand long years of Marcus's existence, which had been painful to an excruciating degree. I could see how he and his brothers had surected the Volturi guards, how they had some up on Alec and Jane, how he had found a mate in his now deceased wife, Didyme, how he had met my father, Carlisle Cullen. His life slowly transformed from a happy movie to a horror flick. Images of Aro burning Didyme's shredded body, Marcus' depression and unhappiness at his brother's decision, and his gradually disinterest. He was the most secluded among them all, yet highly respected.

From his life, I could see, Marcus never had liked violence. Though he was a traditional vampire and his body thirsted for human blood, he'd never have thought of even hurting innocent human if his body wouldn't have called for it – hadn't needed it.

"What keeps you here Marcus?" I asked, amazed at what I had seen.

He looked at me blankly, as if not knowing why he was indeed there. He was there physically, but emotionally, mentally and philosophically, he was at a distant place – the place where his beloved resided. 'I wish I knew little one.'

My heart sank at his answer and I genuinely felt sad for him.

_'What keeps you here my dear?'_ his next question startled me.

"Pardon me?" my head snapped up, not knowing what to answer.

He took my hands in both of his. They seemed so tiny and so fragile in his big palms, as if I were just a month old baby – which so to speak I was. I was merely years old while Marcus was thousands of years old.

_'You are not here out of choice or will, are you?'_ he questioned again. I didn't have the heart to lie to him. Every thing had been weighing too heavily on my shoulders. I was tired of having to lie - First to Aro, then to Caius, then to all the other, then Alec and now Marcus. I simply hung my head down.

"I am. But of course I am. I have no reason to stay if I chose not to." I lied, the lies rolling effortlessly off my tongue.

Marcus didn't say a word. In fact he hadn't said anything at all. He looked into the nothingness of his surroundings and continued to think of his happy memories. He recalled all his years spent with his wife. My eyes became tender listening to his thoughts. Happiness radiated in every single corner oh his life then. Instantly, my thoughts fluttered to Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper and Edward and Bella. I could now understand the love they shared, the happiness they brought in each other's life and in the lives of everyone around them. Then my thoughts went to the one place which turned my life upside down every time – Alec.

Sadness filled within me as realisation dawned upon that Alec and I could never be together. We had very different ideologies on life and very different lifestyles. He was faithful to Aro like a pet, while I detested the way Aro controlled people. He found it amusing to play with people's mind and keep them confused, subjecting them to mental and emotional torture, I found couldn't stand to see anyone in pain. He held no regard for human life, I found myself being only too considerate towards them. No! We shouldn't be – we couldn't be, but we were. Once again, I was caught in a moral and mental dilemma.

Marcus sensed my discomfort and melancholy. 'Your bond is too strong to be broken my dear.' His thoughts did nothing to appease me. They only made it all the more difficult than before. If I was worried then, I was next to clueless now as to how I would leave Alec behind since I knew he'd never come with me.

_'Go home little one. Go back to where you belong.'_ Once again his thoughts startled me. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. My head snapped up in his direction and I probably looked alarmed and hopeful.

"I can't Marcus." I tried to make my voice convincing enough, but it was rough and heavy with emotion.

_'Yes you can.'_

"No, I can't. They'll never let me." I whined in a little voice.

_'They don't have to.'_ He kept encouraging me and it seemed like he wanted me to go back home, but I couldn't trust my mind for what it was perceiving. This had to be a dream for it could never be reality.

_'Little one, you have never been under our command. From the very first time we came across you, you had a sense of fearlessness within you which has helped you to grow as the person you are today. Go home, my dear. I know you want to, you have always wanted to. This isn't a life for you – a life of destruction, a life of death, a life of eternal damnation. Go back to your coven. Be happy.'_ I wanted to cry hearing those words. I knew they were all true, yet I had a pressing issue – Alec. I didn't want to live without him, but I had no choice.

"I can't Marcus, if Aro should know, he'd kill my family."

_'Don't agonize yourself over it. You can consider it a small token of remembrance from me.'_ At that moment, I couldn't believe my luck. I knew my secret would be safe with Marcus for his thoughts reigned with sincerity and hope. Aro would never so much as doubt Marcus and I had nothing to fear but a lot to lose.

"Thank you Marcus, I shall be indebted to you forever." That was all I could do. He had granted me the one thing I had wanted most. He had made me see light again when everything looked gloomy. He smiled at me weakly and nodded.

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><p><em><strong>Reviews are welcome! :)<strong>_


	21. Goodbye

**_Thank you for being so very kind :)_**

**_NagasMyth - I love you!_**

**_ThatCharmspeakingGirl - Thank you so much for the effort and the continued support! I hope you keep following this one :)_**

**_Here's the next chapter._**

**_Happy Reading!_**

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><p><em>Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. – <em>_**Kahlil Gibran**__._

**CHAPTER 19:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

It had been nearly two days since that conversation with Marcus, and I had still to decide how I'd say my final goodbye to the one who was the world to me. I didn't know if I could. I had distanced myself from him, being very cautious to not be in the same room if he was around. I knew it troubled Alec and left him frustrated, but it was better if he got used to living without my constant presence from now. My company wasn't healthy for him. I wasn't healthy for him and I had come to realise it only a bit too late. I was being unfair; I knew it and I developed a unhealthy habit of self loathing.

After much thought, I had finally decided that I would put an end to all of it. I would have to leave, would have to grab the golden opportunity I had, I would have to leave Alec. So with a lot of will power and a heavy heart, I decided to give Alec my final goodbye.

I found him with Felix in a distant corridor in the castle. I didn't even need to call him, his head turned instantly in my direction before I was even there. He had grown accustomed even to my scent. Felix left us as we stood there staring at each other, meters apart.

"Can we talk?" I whispered, knowing fully well he could hear even the faintest sounds, the one like my heavy breathing right now. He was instantly at my side, holding my hand and leading me to his room.

Once inside his room, I took the liberty to make myself comfortable on his couch. For the first time I actually looked around his bedroom. It had the same large windows like mine, but they had black curtains. A huge bookshelf covered one wall while the other wall was full of different paintings, each one more beautiful than the other. I was sure they had been painted by him. I went over to them and ran my fingers on the canvas material, trying to feel what it must have been like for the delicate bristles of Alec's fine paint brush to strike against the material. I wanted to _see_ him paint.

He did not disturb me, letting me take my time to do whatever I was doing.

At one corner was the large bed with red satin sheets – which was probably never used, save that once. I tore my eyes before I'd get sidetracked and continued looking around. There was a couch at a distance from the bookshelf which had two small chairs positioned in front of it. A writing desk was placed close by, with a lovely ornate table lamp and stationery holder. Apart from that, there was just one thing that caught my eye.

A frame – it held a black and white picture of a young boy and a young girl. Both of them were exceptionally attractive. The boy had beautiful brown hair and alluring features that would make any young lady go weak in her knees. His face was beatific. The girl was at least five or six years younger to the boy. Unlike the boy she had beautiful long blond hair that fell on her petite frame and her curls outlined her small face. She looked like an angel sent from the heavens. They were both tilting their heads, touching each others while looking at the camera, smiling slightly. It was a picture of Alec and Jane. Looking at that picture, I was instantly reminded of my brother, whose face I didn't remember any more. I must have sniffed for I found myself in Alec's arms the next instant.

They were comforting – yes, but I knew it wasn't right – it never had been.

I pushed away reluctantly, going back to the couch. He followed behind me and sat very close. Once again, I forced my shield to cover him. It was only so strong as to save two and I couldn't extend it further. None the less, I tried even if it took all my effort.

"Alec, why do you like me?" I began, slowly.

He was taken aback. Sure he hadn't expected me to be so direct; I never was, when it came to him.

"Because you make me feel like myself." He answered after a moment's thought, taking my hands into his, playing with my fingers. He looked like a child confessing to stealing candy from the jar.

"You do love your sister, I know, but you shouldn't have fought with her over me." I said in a small voice, guilt sweeping through me all over again.

"I told you once Clarissa, she doesn't know what she wants." He voice turned from tender to stern in a matter of seconds and I could feel how protective he was towards his little sister. That made me want to smile.

"And you do?" I counter questioned.

My questioned seemed to hit him below the gut, for his head snapped up and he looked at me with narrowed eyes. "What do you mean?"

I knew I had to choose my words carefully from now on, because I was treading on dangerous grounds. If I messed up now, I'd be in hot deep waters.

"Do you like it here Alec?" I asked, cautiously.

He looked blank, as if searching for an answer. His mind was blank. I waited patiently for him to answer and he seemed to be struggling to find words.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to be here?" I pressed further.

His brow creased and once again, he began playing with my fingers unknowingly while looking out of the window into the moonless night. Silence engulfed us as not a word was uttered for another few minutes. Finally he sighed. His silence was answer enough to my question – No.

My eyes fell on the beautiful paintings on the opposite wall.

"When was the last time you painted?" I encouraged, trying to prize his thoughts out from him as his mind now gave away nothing.

"How do you know I paint?" he asked, a little startled, eyeing me surprised.

I smiled weakly at him. How did he think he could keep it from me?

"I'm a Xerox machine remember?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood while both of us let out a small nervous laugh.

"I haven't in a while. Nothing inspires me to." He stated, sadly.

"Alec, don't let others dominate you. Live for yourself." I encouraged, looking into his red eyes.

"No one dominates me." Again, he couldn't help being a jerk at times. I couldn't really blame him now, could I?

"Not even Aro?"

"Of course not." He sounded offended.

"Then why are you here? I know you don't like it here. Stop lying to me." I knew I was pushing him too far, but if I didn't he'd never realise what was keeping him there. He'd never understand what he was missing out on. He'd never know what the world beyond the palace had to offer.

"Because I'm duty bound. I have to be here." He said almost frustrated and harshly, as if there wasn't a choice.

"No you don't. You aren't bound to anyone." I almost pleaded for him to understand what I was trying to say, holding his face in both my hands as our eyes peered into each other.

From his eyes, I could see he was conflicted and I knew I wasn't winning. I wanted to try again, but I hadn't seen him with me in my vision. My heart cried at the unfortunate turn of events. Why couldn't my life ever be a simple, uneventful one? Why did the Gods always have to be so sadistic?

I let my hands fall to my side and started leaving as Alec held my hand, stopping me again.

"Don't leave. Stay here with me." His words troubled me. I couldn't understand the undertone behind them. Where did he want me to stay? The desperation with which he spoke those words, it felt like he already knew that I was leaving.

I didn't find it in me to reply with words. I merely nodded, knowing it was a lie and made my way out of his room and headed towards mine.

I hadn't said my goodbye to him, I hadn't been able to. I knew I couldn't and I cursed myself for that. I'd leave him without even a goodbye.

I slowly hovered in my room, like a silent ghost. I knew I would never miss anything here – nothing, save him. I tried to push him away from my mind, knowing it was impossible.

It was only seven thirty in the evening and I had decided to leave at midnight, when there'd be no one in the huge reception area. Slowly I began by setting everything exactly the way it had been before my arrival in the beautifully decorated room. For one last time, I settled into my comfortable place in the huge library, trying to make everything seem normal.

Alec's thoughts were troubled. I had given him a lot to think about. Time in this palace flew very soon, and I was thankful for that. It was about ten thirty when I made my way back into my room. Alec and I hadn't spoken since our conversation three hours before. He hadn't even stepped out of his room. I made my way to my room and settled for a warm shower to comfort myself.

The shower took an hour and now I had only thirty more minutes before I'd be a free bird. If everything would go as planned, by tomorrow, I'd be seeing my family – the faces of those nine who mattered most to me in my new life. I prayed to God for help and mercy and looked forward to going back home.

I let my black curls fall on my shoulder as I dressed myself in a cream coloured satin shirt that I had brought once when we'd been out on our exploration in the city. Along with that I pulled on a pair of black trousers and a black cloak to hide my clothing underneath. Putting on a pair of matching black boots, I was done.

The clock struck twelve.

With one last look in the mirror, I made my way out of the room and towards the huge wooden ornate door of the castle. As predicted, there wasn't a soul – metaphorically. Once I was at the door, which was open, I turned around one last time to look at the palace that had held me captive for so long. It wouldn't any more. All those thoughts of my first visit, my capture, the intense torture, Jane, Aro, everything – everything came back to me and I decided to finally leave.

I knew Alec would hate me for what I had done. I knew he'd want to shred me to pieces for having left. I remembered every single word he had said to Jane the other day and my heart sank. I was the one who was taking away the last ray of hope from his life. I wanted him to hope, but he wouldn't ever leave the palace, would he? He would never leave his sister, Aro.

'_I'm sorry Alec, forgive me. I love you. Always have, always will._' With those being my last thoughts I stepped out of the palace doors to never return again.

As soon as I was out of the palace, and out the dark alley, I stepped into the otherwise cold night air. It felt nice to just stand there for a moment and feel the soft sweet air of freedom against my beautiful face. I had to leave soon, before it became too late.

Just when I was about to take a step further, I felt a hand on my shoulders, sending shivers down my spine.

"Going somewhere?"

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><p><em><strong>So what do you think is going to happen? I'd love to hear you guys about this ;-<strong>)_


	22. The Run

_Hello everyone!_

_First off:_

_I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for the reviews and for your amazing support. You guys really do lift my spirits when I'm having a bad day :)_

_Now to answer some queries and the very valuable feedback some of you gave, I'll take a quick minute before you jump to reading:_

_**ThatCharmspeakingGirl -** Thanks for your review! It's much appreciated. I haven't mentioned for how long Claire has actually been with the volturi but I do reckon that when I was writing this, I was of the opinion she's been with the Volturi for about 3-4 years now._

_**NagasMyth -** Well, Alec and Jane do share a strong bond of familial affection, but since it was never really mentioned how strong I think I'm going to try my luck to see how much this brother-sister pair can endure. Besides, you only love twists in the plot :P_

_**Guest (I'd love to have a name!) -** Thank you so very much for your review. Its reviews like yours every once in awhile that truly do encourage one to keep going along with all the support. I'm glad that you find my writing good and that you are so very captivated by this story and I also apologize for not proof-reading before posting. To be perfectly honest, it does get a little monotonous to re-read and I am lazy to do so, but yes - that isn't a good excuse. I'll definitely make an effort to proofread and correct the minor errors here and there henceforth! :)_

_As for everyone else, needless to say - a big big thank you to **sara253xxx, JustNata, hellokatie123, lollovable, SkittleMachine** for your encouragement and support! Here's the next one -_

_Happy Reading!_

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><p>"<em>Freedom in general may be defined as the absence of obstacles to the realization of desires" – <em>**_Bertrand Russell._**

**CHAPTER 20:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

I wasn't aware that someone had been following me. In fact, I had been sure of being untraceable. If they were, I would have known, I should have known.

"Going somewhere?" the velvety soft voice came from behind me. I froze in panic but quickly regained composure. I turned around cautiously, my mind racing. Much to my ease and sorrow, I knew the voice could only have belonged to none other than Alec.

"Yea... I was just... going... Umm... hunting." I stammered, not knowing what to say, not ready yet with a lie. He read me like an open book. He didn't say a word, just stared at me with those intense red eyes, thinking, accusing.

"You're leaving aren't you?" I knew I couldn't ever lie to him, so why were the gods making it more difficult than it already was for me to leave. Why did I have to see Alec at this hour? I didn't answer him, but simply looked away, and that seemed answer enough to him.

Alec held my hand and pulled me along as he sped through the now dark streets of the city of Volterra. I was too stunned by his actions. He shouldn't have been here, with me and now that he knew, he shouldn't be complying with my course of actions. I was too baffled to comprehend how such a dramatic turn of events had taken place.

It took me a while to realise that we were running in the opposite direction of the forest. "What are you doing?" I stopped him in his tracks.

"What do you think?" he continued, pulling me along.

"Alec stop." And we both came to halt, now under a tree somewhere in the middle of dense vegetation.

"I'm going with you." He stated firmly. His voice had a tone of finality.

"What?" I asked, still confused.

"I am going with you. Where ever you go, I'm coming with you. I can't let you venture out there alone. No! I'm coming with you, you like it or not-"He seemed to have lost all sense of coherency and kept on repeating the same line over and over again, as if it were a chant.

I tried to stop him, but he just wouldn't listen, and looking at him babbling like a mad man – in this case, mad _vampire_, I couldn't resist any more. My heart was swelling with emotion when I heard those words from Alec's mouth, and reason ceased to cloud my mind. I crushed my lips on to his, stopping him from uttering another word. There was a sense of urgency in me and I thought he reciprocated it because he didn't stop me from devouring his mouth. He gave in willingly, not complaining once of my virtual assault on him. He flipped us over with my back pinned onto a tree while his hands held me firmly to his lean figure, pressing himself harder into me. I found my arms and legs encircling his neck and waist as I clung to him. My hands kept tracing his face while his kept caressing my body delicately, as if I were a china doll. I didn't know I was capable of such passion. For how long we stood there, devouring each other's mouths, I couldn't tell but when I moaned much to my embarrassment, Alec simply had to pass another of his witty comments.

"Knew I could make you moan." He chuckled, while I shushed him and brought his delectable lips back onto mine. I felt like a insatiable brute, but I couldn't help my instincts. I found myself tugging on his shirt, and he groaned.

He tensed under my grasp. "You might not want to do that now." He chuckled into my ear, leaving a ticklish feeling against my cold skin which should have been overheated at the moment. Reasoning finally clouded my mind as I realised what I was about to do. Yes! Indeed, it wouldn't be pleasant if we walked out in public eye in tattered clothes.

I let go off his mouth and touched his head against mine, our breath jagged by the over passionate kiss we had just shared. "Alec," I was panting like a chocked animal.

"I…Love…You." I breathed out. His signature smirk spread over his angelic face and his mind now took a different course of action.

"What? I didn't hear that." He teased, while I complied.

"I love you." a smile was playing around the corner of his lips hearing those words.

"Say that again." he budged, cupping my cheeks in his hands, leaving me flushed.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you Alec. With all my heart, with all my everything. I love you." I repeated again and again until he pulled me into another searing kiss.

"I only thought it was Chelsea all the while." I whispered, against our moving lips.

"Well, Chelsea doesn't realise that she isn't needed sometimes." He chuckled, causing me to smile with him. As we composed ourselves, my legs still twined around his waist, my arms still encircling his neck, my lips still inches from his, I realised that we had more pressing situations to handle. He seemed to realise it too and set me on ground.

"Let's leave for Rome." He said firmly and started pulling me away with him.

"Why?" I questioned as he kept running.

"Bigger and busier airport - more humans - more our scent will not be very traceable and it'll buy us time. Come on now." He continued. I hadn't once thought about that. He was right - we had to leave before anyone got suspicious.

It was an hour before we reached Rome. We didn't head straight to the airport but to a small office which was closed at this point of time. Alec smashed the window open as inconspicuously as he could, unlocking the door open from inside. It was a good thing the shop did not have an alarm. I saw him retrieving a black pouch that seemed to have a lot of documents in it.

I looked at Alec, puzzled. "I'll tell you on the flight."

We purchased two tickets to New York from Rome. We'd change flights from there for New Hampshire. The tickets were purchased under the false names of Penelope Fenecelli and Peter Downing. I now realised what the black pouch carried. I had made arrangements for my fake documents of course, but hadn't for Alec. I didn't know that I wouldn't need to. He already had them - ready to be used at his disposal whenever he liked.

We were booked on the first flight that left for New York and much to my happiness it was just about to board. Alec sat close by my side, our fingers intertwined as we were airborne.

"Why did you leave Alec? Why did you follow me?" My words gave away the curiosity raging in my mind.

"Because, I cannot live without you. I couldn't think of spending another moment without you." He confessed, as if he had come to accept his feelings for me like the cardinal truth. His answer made me want to smile, but I knew, my smile right now was probably bringing someone immense pain and sorrow to him.

"And Jane?" I asked cautiously.

"She'll know what she's doing someday and then, she'll understand why I chose to break away." He said, thoughtful. I could see the sadness evident in his expression and hear it in his voice and a sense of guilt immediately washed over me. I questioned my actions.

Was it right for me to have encouraged Alec to leave? Was I not depriving a brother from the company of his sister? Did I have the right or authority or even deserve the love I was blessed with when it was by parting a brother from his sister?

Surely my expressions must have given me away for I felt Alec's hands covering my face. His eyes searched for the reason of my worry. He finally broke the silence, his thumb caressing my cheek and he whispered, placing a small reassuring kiss on my forehead "I'll take care of everything... I'll take care of _you_."

The flight to New York was a long one and with sleep not coming over, either one of us, it gave us a lot of time to talk. Tonight, we were past all the elusions. We spoke without any refrains. I was beginning to get jumpy at the thought of seeing home and Alec did all he could to hold me back. As much as joy it brought me, I knew this was extremely hard for him. What I also knew, was that the Cullens would surely accept him if not instantly, then eventually. It was to be my redemption for robbing him off Jane's company.

I silently thanked god for giving more than I had bargained for. I had my Alec here with me and I was going home. There wasn't anything more I could wish for.

"Still believe in that stuff, do you?" he asked, as he heard my silent prayer.

"Yes… always have. They say when one feels helpless and needs the courage to move on, they turn to that supreme faith that gives you strength. It's the faith, we call God. Don't you believe it?" I counter questioned - something that he always hated.

"God… right." He muttered sarcastically. His mind was filled with agonized thoughts. I could faintly see the blurred images of a large group of people surrounding a burning stake. I gasped in horror and he looked at me with a guarded expression.

"Alec… I'm so… sorry. I…" I couldn't bring myself to complete the sentence. Instead I chose to squeeze his hand tightly in mine and leaned on his shoulder. That seemed to earn me his forgiveness and soothed him.

Touching Alec's hand, for the first time, I could see his entire life. Not once had I ever dared to see Alec's life, always afraid of what I might see, always afraid of offending him, always afraid of losing the support of the only one I could faintly count on, always afraid for falling for him than I already was but now, none of those fears surfaced. They were buried down, deep somewhere, and I hoped they'd stay there, buried forever.

Alec's life was one of intense pain, sorrow and loneliness. The only human memories he had was the one of him and his sister burning at the stake and the village folk surrounding them and hauling abuses at them, some even believing them to be witches who wanted the ill of every person in the village. The pictures morphed to Aro having intervened and massacre the small village saving the brother and sister. This however was done, not because of mercy for the two, but for personal gain. For long he had his eyes on them – the orphaned, impoverished and unusuallly quiet pair of siblings. The time then had been ripe for him to cease the opportunity. I could feel the intense pain and suffering they had undergone as they were left to writhe in pain in a dingy cell in the palace as they transformed creatures of the dark that the rest of them were - void of feelings and emotions. Their shrill agonized cries echoed in my mind, and the walls that held them captive, but no one came to their rescue.

It then transformed to the first time he killed a human being, to satisfy his tormenting thirst. He was appalled and yet satisfied. His thirst was satisfied and he felt content for killing a human for what they had subjected him and his sister to. At the same time, it also felt wrong somewhere deep within him. I could see how he was made to forcefully submit to Aro when he had resisted and wanted to break free from the Volturi. Yes, they had used the oldest trick in the bag - his little sister, who was still writhing in pain. It was for her he had stayed back and after that, it was Chelsea's manipulative ways till he truly believed himself to be one of them, till he enjoyed the power he was endowed with. From then on, he had led a life of violence and destruction. Although he was a reserved person, never speaking much to anyone, never caring to have a conversation with anyone other than his sister and Aro, he had still spoken to me - which was against his usual behaviour.

Through his eyes I could see the frightened faces of the humans he killed ruthlessly, the vampires he butchered under command and sometimes felt how he paralysed some to make the suffering a little less each time. That very image took me by surprise; the contrast in his nature was puzzling. There was hope after all, there was an essence of goodness in him, and I knew it. I had never been wrong. Every cloud did have a silver lining!

Four hundred long years it had taken him to find someone. Four hundred long years of loneliness was what he had to undergo, four hundred long years of antagonizing emotional and mental conflict.

But now he had found me, and I - him. I'd never let go off him. I'd complete that void in his heart. Fill his heart with every blissful emotion there was to experience in life. I had been the silver lining in his dark life and it was my duty to make it bright and I would. I vowed to myself, this.

I snuggled into Alec's arms even more than before, diminishing the space between us and felt his arms around my waist. I could see from the periphery of my vision, the smirk spread over his face.

Through out the flight, I spoke more than I ever had in my life. Alec asked me about what my life had been before I came to Volterra. He wanted to know about how I was transformed and I didn't keep anything from him. I told him how Edward and Bella had found me and how they had carried me home. I told him how the Cullens had insisted on helping me no matter how I had disregarded their concern. I told him about my first hunting trip and how I felt stupid for being a vampire who did not know how to hunt, successfully becoming the butt of his jokes.

All the while as I narrated him my little story, he kept passing bizarre little comments that made me roll my eyes. We even returned to our old habit of bantering over sumptuous vampire meal. We had a brief argument about the deliciousness of the wild boars and a fat juicy human. It was bizarre to be talking along those lines, but with Alec, I felt completely at ease for he made everything sound so comical.

We landed at the JFK Airport, New York after an eight hour journey. From there, without wasting any more time, we boarded the flight to New Hampshire where I'd finally meet my family. I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know how I'd face them, didn't know if I'd be accepted after all I had done. I had hoped Alice had not seen me at the battle ground every time we were sent for a mission.

Alec sensed my anxiety but couldn't do much for he was equally unsettled. His reasons were a lot more different of course. To begin with, he couldn't think of going to the family or coven as he'd call it, which he had tried to exterminate in the first place - whom he and his sister hated so immensely. Secondly, he couldn't leave my side and no matter what, he'd always be there to protect me from any harm, which he thought was plenty. Third, he was conflicted once again about leaving his sister behind.

So finally, as both of us landed in New Hampshire, we silently made our exit and ran to the forests, trying to be inconspicuous. From my vision I knew exactly what the house looked like, and locating it wouldn't be a problem.

A magnificent house, by the banks of the river finally came into view. An aura of life, warmth and happiness radiated from it and I felt like I was finally home. After years of torture, years of unending trials, years of yearning, I was home. My heart was heavy with emotion and my mind couldn't process the fact that I was only meters away from the ones I most loved. I sank to my knees at the sight.

Alec tensed and held me as I hung my head down and cried tearless sobs. He let me hold onto his shirt and crease it to my desire as I let my emotions take over me, only holding me, not uttering a word. I gathered myself as he helped me stand again and with slow steady steps, we made our way towards the house by the banks of the river.

"Stop right there." I heard two growling sounds as they stood there, crouching in defence, preventing us from taking another step ahead.


	23. Homecoming

_Thank you so continues support and the reviews **KPerry1234, MyLifeOnJupiterRings, SkittleMachine, Luna Spiderwick, **and** NagasMyth**!_

_Luna Spiderwick - You know, I was just going through my previous chapters and I found so many little glitches. I totally understand now why you'd asked me to proof read. I learned from my mistake, so.. Thank you! :)_

_Anyway, heres the next one for you guys. (I'm hoping to complete 80 reviews for this story with this one. Please help me! :P)_

_Happy Reading!_

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><p><em>It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. <em>_**- Johann Schiller**_

**CHAPTER 21:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

"Edward, Emmett?" I had yearned to hear their voices. Even after four long years, I hadn't forgotten their voices, their scent; I could never forget anything about them.

I was almost about to crash into them when Edward stepped away and stopped me with one hand. I couldn't comprehend his actions. They were so… distant.

The smile from my face faded to be replaced by a questioning look. I wondered why they were behaving in that fashion with me.

"What do you want Clarissa?" Edward practically sneered at me. I could hear Alec hiss behind me. I was caught in a dilemma. On one side was my mate - my life and on the other side was my brother - my saviour, and both of them hated each other.

"I've come home Edward." I said in a small voice, not knowing what to explain, how to explain.

'_Stop lying to me.'_

How could he think I was lying to him? He could read my mind couldn't he? Wouldn't he know if I was lying to him?

'_If you were coming home, why is a Volturi guard here with you?'_ my eyes brightened with understanding.

"He's not with them anymore." I said, choosing to be more verbal, so that everyone could understand.

'_And what makes you think I'll believe that?'_ Edward's harsh tone was very hurtful. I made me tearful; I couldn't understand his reason for being rude.

"You can read our minds Edward. Do you think we'd keep anything from you? Believe me please." I pleaded with him, hoping he'd show us some mercy.

"Emmett, don't you believe me?" I now began pleading with Emmett, almost sobbing.

He didn't respond, but only winced away like I was an insignificant, dirty little liar.

Soon I could see the other come out of the house. All of them began covering the front porch. My heart filled with emotion as I saw them all, in flesh. Esmé, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, Bella, Jasper, everyone.

"Carlisle, Esmé?" they both looked in my direction. Esmé looked like she would be in tears.

'_I know you're not at fault Clarissa, but I can't stop Edward from protecting his family.'_ Did Edward honestly think I was here to hurt anyone of them? Me? and more importantly, did Carlisle believe that?

"Why don't you all believe me? Please, I'm begging you." I almost wailed.

"Esmé? You have to believe me. Do you honestly think I could be of any harm?" I went over to her side, causing Emmett and Edward to tense. They both now stood in front of me like an impenetrable wall.

I knew I wouldn't be able to convince them. Their mind was filled with doubt. Doubt which would be erased only through talks, but would they let me talk? Would they give me patient hearing? I hoped they would.

After a long moment of silence I finally composed myself and began again, hoping they'd listen to me.

"When the Volturi came for the execution of Renesmee," I heard Edward growl while the others hissed under their breath. Alec was instantly in front of me, bending in a crouch to defend me. None the less, I continued stepping out from Alec's protective arms which almost formed a shield around me.

"You hoped for a patient hearing, did you not?" I said cautiously.

When neither of them replied, I gained the courage to continue, "I am not entitled to even that?" sobs broke free once again. I wanted so desperately to go back to them, to feel their love, but they wouldn't have me. I all but wanted to harm them. I had stayed back in Volterra for them. I had bargained my life for their safety, why would I ever hurt them.

Edward's head twitched slightly, and I guessed he had heard my thoughts. His eyes now met mine, and then they flew to Alec who was standing, tensed beside me, a huge furrow covering his brow.

"There is nothing to explain Clarissa. Just leave us in peace." For the first time, I heard Edward speak. His harsh words hit me below the gut and I stood there too shocked to even realise what was happening. I could see Jasper move towards me, but his thoughts were unlike the others. Alice looked hopeful and smiled weakly at me. I couldn't contemplate what was happening.

'_Son, I think we should let her explain.'_ Carlisle's mind was one in turmoil.

'_I hope Alice was right, but with him… I can't be sure. But she'd never harm us, but is it possible? She was with them after all… I don't know. Alice had better be right.'_ Rosalie was also caught in a mental dilemma and her thoughts were the ones echoed by Esmé.

Bella however, stood behind her husband and I could sense her shield preventing me from reading his mind any further. I couldn't read hers either, but from her expressions I could sense, she wasn't hostile.

With so many contrasting emotions playing around me, I felt weak and vulnerable once again and even the energy to stand on my feet escaped me as I collapsed to the ground. The weight of my heavy heart was too much for me to bear. Once again, Alec's arms encircled around me and he held me firmly to my spot.

"Why wouldn't they believe me?" I sobbed into his shirt. I could feel his tempers flare.

"Enough of this Clarissa, leave-"

"Enough." Alec cut Emmett mid sentence, leaving everyone astounded. He hadn't spoken once, but with his harsh, hostile voice, had been effective to draw everyone's attention to him.

"Enough is enough..." Alec now stood in front of me, looking Edward and Emmett in the eye. With his present posture, he looked more dangerous than I had ever seen him and it sent shivers down my spine.

"They will bloody hell have to listen to whatever I have to say." He snarled, addressing me and then turned around to face all of them who now seemed stand, astonished.

"It was you who found her right?" he began, narrowing his eyes towards Edward.

"You and your mate? She told me." he continued.

"And when you found her and brought her to your house you must have thought, _'Oh! Just a newborn.'_ But do you even know what she has gone through over the past couple of years? Do you even realise what its taken her to come back to all of you?" he was now literally growling at everyone present there, and they looked only too bewildered to form an appropriate response.

"Why would we believe you?" Edward pressed, impersonating Alec's harsh tenor.

"Because, it's _me_ who had seen her through her worst. It's _me_ who has seen the remorse in her eyes. It was _me_ who was present with her when she was being subjected to indignation, torture and humiliation to keep _you_ safe." His voice was filled with hatred and disgust, as if he would rip Edward's head off then and there. I hissed trying to get Alec's attention.

"_I _have seen what it was like for her. Her first cleaning mission - _I_ could see the regret, _I _could hear her prayers for mercy and forgiveness to Carlisle and his family. Every time she saw people, _I _could see her reminiscing all of you. When some one would speak ill about any of you, _I _was the one who sensed her discomfort and sorrow."

Alec's words shocked me. I hadn't ever realised he had observed so much about me. I hadn't noticed so much about myself. Apparently, I hadn't been able to hide anything from him.

"What will _you_ know? You lived your merry little life while _she_ was playing Judas' goat."

"She could always come back, we would have welcomed her, she knew it." Emmett spoke this time.

All the while, Alice and Jasper didn't utter a word. They didn't look so much as tensed. I wondered why it was.

"Do you even know why she stayed back?" Alec narrowed his eyes.

"For all of _you_. So that Aro would spare _your _merry lives. You should be thankful to her for even breathing the air around you right now." He sneered. His mind was now filled with the events of that unfortunate day when I had deceived my family into believing that it was my choice to stay with the Volturi, to be a part of them.

I could see myself, writhing on the floor with agony, literally begging on Aro's feet for mercy, for letting me go. I could hear Aro's words, as he threatened me of dire consequences if I didn't comply with his offer. Then again, I could see Caius and Jane's cruel faces, smirking upon seeing me being humiliated.

"Alec stop!" I couldn't take it any longer. I didn't want to remember any of those horrible thoughts. The picture that I had seen in Aro's mind which showed the death of my family danced in my mind and I closed my eyes. Even then, I could see Edward's head instantly snap up in my direction and his eyes were alarmed. He had read Alec's mind, it was evident and upon reading mine, he seemed disturbed. He fell back slightly, hurrying inside the house. Bella followed him, baffled.

"This? This is what you have been struggling for so long? This is what you've been risking your life for all the while? This is what you lied to me for?"

"To me?"

"For them? They don't even believe you. They aren't even worthy of your trust." He continued, subjecting me to intense torture.

"Enough Alec. Just stop. You know nothing about them." My words seemed to have taken him aback. He arched an eyebrow in my direction.

"And yet, here you are, fighting with _me_, for them?" disbelief.

"They are telling you the truth Dr. Cullen, you should believe them." A little voice emerged from inside the house. She was followed by two others, a female and a male.

From what I could gather from everyone's minds the little girl was Maggie, while the man was named Liam and the woman was Siobhan.

Every head turned in their direction and Alec seemed to relax. I saw Edward and Bella come out of the house once again, hand in hand. Edward's face now had a pained look. I could see guilt cover every inch of his face and it broke my heart. I hadn't intended to hurt my brother, yet I had.

I desperately needed someone to hold me and tell me that I hadn't made the wrong choice, that I hadn't messed up my one chance I had worked so hard upon, for if I had, I had nowhere to go now. I looked at them and then at Alec with a look of desperation in my eyes. He understood my unspoken words and was instantly at my side, taking my hands in his.

'_You don't have to go through this again. I will not let you go through this again.'_ He stared into my eyes for a long second as I tried to understand my surroundings.

"Claire?" Esmé called, and my head snapped up, releasing me from Alec's eyes.

I turned around to see Esmé standing there, with her arms wide open, smiling at me. She looked like she was crying; only the tears didn't cover her face, like they would have for any human – but then again, we weren't human.

I couldn't resist her invitation and ran into her arms like a child who was reunited with her mother after years of separation, which was exactly the situation in our case. Once I'd won over Esmé, Carlisle was won over too.

"We've missed you Claire. Welcome home." Carlisle's words made me want to cry again, and I gave him a big hug. He reciprocated my embrace and both Carlisle and Esmé were stroking my hair as if I were really their little baby.

I didn't know when I was being lifted and pulled into a huge bear hug. It was so tight that I was afraid I would break despite the superhuman strength. Of course I had missed this far too much and I didn't complain – no! That was the last thing I'd ever do.

"Emmett, I'm choking." I muttered, under my breath and his big frame shook with nervous laughter, hugging me tighter. I felt very little in his presence – I was little, so to speak, but it looked like he had grown in size if that was possible, or probably it was because I was seeing him after a very long time.

He let go off me and Alice danced her way to me.

"I knew you'd make it back home. I'm sorry Claire. I'm very sorry. I should have seen better-"

"Hey, hey, hey... Stop. It wasn't your fault. Of course you couldn't see. It had all been arranged very tactfully." I stopped Alice from her little rant and pulled her into a hug. Everyone knew I was high on physical contact and very big on hugs and no one ever denied me that. I was glad 'that' hadn't changed yet.

"Jasper." I smiled and threw my arms around him, while he smiled and kissed my forehead, treating me like the child I was. "Welcome back." He silently whispered.

I then turned around to Rosalie who was smiling at me confidently.

"So it looks like I didn't lose my sister after all." She smiled.

"Of course not, I was just out on a horrible vacation." I played along with her as we embraced one another.

After everyone, it was time to make truce with the two who were the toughest – Edward and Bella.

Bella didn't need any words. She chose actions than words which suited me just fine. Sprinting over to me, enjoying her new abilities as ever, she winked at me and then pulled me into a hug, smiling all the while. We stayed there, feeling the sisterly love we had for each other and then she encouraged me to go ahead and speak to Edward.

Either of us didn't know where to begin, but I was glad that like always, Edward took the initiative and spoke up.

"Claire I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said..." he trailed off not finding words, enough to describe how guilty he was feeling.

'_I'm sorry beyond you can imagine.'_ His thoughts melted my heart and I hugged him exactly like the first time I had.

'_Ah! I don't remember what you're talking about!'_ I thought, once again, talking in our bizarre telepathic language - something that was a secret only between the two of us. A small smile spread on his face as he stroked my hair.

Amidst the 'happy family' moment I realised I had forgotten the one person I owed all this to – the one person who had not only helped me escape but had also stood up for me, in front of my family in my hour of need – Alec.

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><p><em><strong>I know this chapter might have been a bit mushy for most of you, but I'd rather not have it any other way.<strong>_

_**I'd love to hear from you! :)**_


	24. Acceptance

_Hello everyone!_

_Thank you once again for all your lovely reviews to the story and for helping me cross my benchmark of 80 reviews. It feels lovely! :)_

_**NagasMyth** - Yours was the 80th review and only too apt! You've been following this story from day one. And you did make me think actually about Edward and Alec's relationship. When I first wrote this fic, I hadn't given it much thought, but I've made some changes. Thank you for the feedback :)_

_**Luna Spidwewick, lollovable, ThatCharmspeakingGirl, Reviewer** and** 21** - Thank you so much for your encouraging words, I'm happy that I could live up to your expectations so far and that this fic keeps your interest :)_

_Here is the next chapter - a small one, but an important one methinks._

_Happy Reading! :)_

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><p><em>Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defence. - <em>_**Mark A. Overby**_

**CHAPTER 22:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

I turned around to see Alec staring at me as I embraced everyone.

'_Shes loved by everyone.'_ His thoughts were happy and smug at the same time. It was the first time I'd seen him in that disposition and my heart went out to him.

I went over to him and taking his hands in mine, squeezed them gently.

He looked up at me as if he were uninterested and shrugged as if nothing had happened. His pretences would have to fall, now that we were going to be together. I smiled at his futile attempt to hide what he was truly feeling, his fingers however intertwined with mine.

"You're with her now aren't you?" Rosalie asked, addressing Alec.

His disconcerting gaze shifted towards the blonde vampire, "Yes, I guess I am." Once again, the tone of nonchalance – only pretence. I would have taken it to be his arrogance like I had before, if only I hadn't grown to know him so well.

At his answer however, I pulled his hand and narrowed my eyes at him. He simply rolled his eyes as if my question was a trifle one. He'd have to pay for it later.

"But we don't kill humans and... by the look of her eyes," Jasper said, looking at me and then smiling, "Neither does she."

"I wasn't planning to feed off humans." He stated matter-of-factly and hearing that I froze. I couldn't believe my ears. "Well, not directly anyway." He added quickly.

It wasn't until I saw Alec smirking at me that I realised my jaw had dropped open and my eyes had widened and that I looked like someone who had just won a billion dollar lottery, although I must admit, prizing those words out of Alec was no less than winning a lottery. I wondered if he knew what he was talking about. Of course I'd support him, but uncertainty clouded my mind if he'd be able to keep up.

"That's impossible. I being almost two hundred years younger to you can't control my thirst around humans, despite having fed on animal blood for nearly three decades..." he struggled with words, "And you are a traditional vampire. You've fed on human blood for the last four hundred years. It's impossibility... I haven't been able to conquer my desire, how will you?" he asked in sheer disbelief.

"But you tried, right?" Alec replied, arching his head towards Alice who clung to Jasper as he spoke, "for her?"

"You did change for her." He stated and then turned around to look at me with those intense red eyes for a brief second.

"So can I." He finally stated after staring at me for a long moment. It looked like he was drawing courage from there.

"I don't believe this. What makes you think that we'd believe you? I mean, Clarissa is a different thing. But what actually makes you think that we'll believe that Alec Volturi – one of the strongest play cards of the Volturi would leave the ranks of a Volturi guard and live with us?" Rosalie asked, looking at Alec with narrowed eyes. I knew it had hurt Alec beyond reason for it was a very sensitive issue for him.

"The fact that I'm here, leaving my sister behind for this girl, is reason enough." He confessed and my heart swelled with pride. I could have spontaneously combust and not known.

'_Edward, I don't want to hurt Claire but do you honestly think he can be trusted?'_ It would probably be the first time, Rosalie had turned to Edward, for anything at all. He seemed startled, but merely nodded his head once looking at her and then in my direction. She seemed content with Edward's reply and gave me a reassuring smile once again.

'_Don't give him a tough time. He's pretty upset himself.'_ I requested Edward, who smiled at me.

"Well, I think everyone deserves a chance." Carlisle cleared his throat and came forward to greet Alec, putting a hand on his shoulder, while he simply nodded acknowledging the gesture.

"So that means we're going to have to disown Clarissa." Emmett's gregarious laughter effectively ruined my perfect 'happy family' moment.

"What?" everyone seemed to have more than a mere twin moment at Emmett's suggestion.

"What? They can't both be Cullens unless you want to be his sister." Another fit of laughter came over him.

"He's actually got a point there." Jasper seconded him, much to my horror, smiling mischievously to irk me.

"Wait, you disown _me_ over someone you barely know?" I asked, feigning shock.

"Technically, they know me before they knew you." Alec had to come up with his smart answers, how could he not? 'It was against his "PRIDE".'

"Shut up!" I smacked him lightly on his arm as he continued to smirk like an idiot.

"So what's the solution then?" Rosalie asked, smirking, in Jasper's and Emmett's direction. It looked like my brothers had a plan in mind of which I wasn't aware and they planned to keep it that way.

"Well..." Jasper trailed off while Alice began plotting on visiting a wedding boutique soon enough. I wondered who was getting married – **again**.

I turned around to look at Alec who was looking at Jasper, who was looking at Emmett, who was looking at Jasper, who was finally looking at a contemplating Alice.

"Yea, I can see it happening." Her words finally knocked sense into me and I realised who the dress was for. I gulped down loudly and embarrassed as ever ran into the house while everyone's laughter echoed in the house.

"We'll see..." Edward muttered, still unsure, smiling slightly at Bella.

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><p><em><strong>I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you all think is coming? Time for a little romance, yes? Or... Would we like jumping the gun?<strong>_  
><em><strong>I'd say, lets give them some precious time. <strong>_

_**I'd love to hear from you - please do review! :)**_


	25. Dusk

_Hello again everyone!_

_Thank you so very much for your reviews and for sharing your views with me. Honestly, even I was hoping you guys would say yes to romance. Thank you so much! I hope you guys enjoy the next few installments._

_**Andrea71** - Thank you so very much for your review. I hope you enjoy what the following installment has! I'd love to hear more from you :)_

_**Omgitsblondie** - Your penname is super awesome! They will get married - in due course. Patience, patience! :)_

_**renatamaine** - Well well, you did find it now! No regrets. You should have gone all out and written reviews "fan-girl" style - I'd have loved you some more! Haha. Kidding - Thank you for reviewing. I so hope to hear more from you! :)_

_**Luna Spiderwick** - Thank you so much Luna! I think its only fit to give those lines to Emmett. It makes perfect sense, although I'm a little apprehensive how I'm going to deal with the strained relationship between everyone. Will it be the same!? Oh I don't know. Lets see!_

_**NagasMyth** - You really do think futuristic-ally, don't you? Renesmee and Jacob, for one - I don't even know how they'll take to the new (kidding - of course I do!) But, that's coming up. And yes - Finally, FINALLY romance is on its way! Enjoy!_

_**MyLifeOnJupitersRings** - Your review warms me! I feel really nice that you're enjoying this fanfic so very much. Keep the reviews coming and I promise to keep the chapters coming! :)_

_**CritiqueOfReason** - I love that pen-name by the way - Thank you so much for your review. It feels lovely to be told from time to time that I can make someone happy with the little effort I put into this fanfiction. I hope the coming installments live up to your expectations and to hear from you in the future!_

_Now, on to the chapter!_

_Happy Reading everyone! :)_

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><p><em>Life is the flower of which love is the honey. - <em>_**Jean Baptiste Alphonse Karr.**_

**CHAPTER 23:**

**Clarissa [POV]**

The room was beginning to fill as everyone entered one after another. Alice was back to her usual cheerful best while Bella and Rosalie did nothing to save me from her precariously radiating happiness. Esme sat across the dining table as she saw Alice ambush me with bizarre details she thought I was supposed to know. Apparently - I had missed out on a lot of things.

My eyes searched for the little one - Renesmee.

"Shes hunting." Bella informed, sensing the fact that I was searching for Nessie. I wondered if she'd recognise me and how big she must have grown over the past three years. She must have been close to her full age by now.

"With Jacob, I reckon?" I asked, and she smiled giving me the answer I was seeking.

Jacob - he'd be another issue to handle. We had a mutual hate-hate relationship and now with Alec here, I knew it would only escalate. I wondered how he and the pack would react to the turn of events. I wasn't even sure if I had Edward's full support or if he would support my endeavour to find any peace with Alec. I was still sceptical.

Carlisle introduced us to his friends Liam, Siobhan and little Maggie who were of Irish descent. Siobhan and Maggie were gifted much like the few of our family. Their gifts were interestingly creative, not harmful. I admired both of them for they had been instrumental to complete the process of my homecoming. They also happened to be very welcoming and lively. With the help of little Maggie, and Alec's great oratory skills, I had been able to gain my family's trust and would always be thankful to them.

We sat in the in the living room as everyone ambushed me with a billion questions. They wanted to know everything and I supplied them with every little detail - saving the gruesome ones. Alec seldom spoke, but when he did, he explained with dexterity to Carlisle and Jasper about the newborns and Aro's plans before our arrival. It was exhausting, answering the endless questions and wondering if it would ever suffice. I could never be sure if I possessed the skill of explaining every event that had transpired in the past three years. It had seemed an eternity and I had tried to live a day at a time. There had been times when even I didn't know what I was doing, what my aim was.

It was already well past dusk when we had arrived and with so much happening so soon, how and when time flew, one couldn't tell. Midnight began to crawl in and everyone was beginning to disperse. Edward and Bella still had a little cottage even here which meant I wouldn't get to see Renesmee until next morning. She did sleep after all, unlike us.

We said our goodbyes before they left. Edward's mind was still vexed. I was sure he would have a very long night, and I was to blame for it.

"So which ones my room?" I asked, turning around to everyone in an attempt to distract myself from the impending controversy I would be facing the next morning.

Alice grinned and dragged me along to the room on the third floor of the multi-storied mansion. She pushed open the door to a room so huge that calling it a room would be an underestimation. It was more of an apartment with the floor space it covered.

"O… Kay…" I said, trying to digest the fact that this was really my room. "Alice..." If I was being perfectly honest, I was a bit intimidated by enormity and the magnanimity of what was being offered to me.

"You like it right? We spent a lot of time doing this place up, although no one knew why I was trying to make it exactly to your taste." Alice rambled, hastily.

"Are you insane? I love it! Thank you Alice! You're the best sister! Ever!"

"Yeah I know." She grinned back at me.

"I can't believe you did all this for me." I said, looking around the vast room.

"Well, technically, I didn't do it just for you." she said, correcting me. She happened to be thinking of Alec and I, giving me an indication that this was _our_ room. I should have known that Alice could see this coming. Flushed as ever, I decided to evade my sister's smug expression and teasing comments which I knew would soon follow and looked elsewhere even though a small smile made its presence more than felt on my face playing on my face. Alice laughed softly, knowing she had succeeded in her mission. Although it made me bashful every time to think of Alec as a mate, but I couldn't deny the joy it brought me on thinking of the word _'our'_ more frequently.

"I guess I'll leave you now. Jasper needs me." she gave me a small peck on my cheek and a hug before leaving, closing the door lightly behind.

I felt like a nervous wreck. Being honest, I didn't know what was expected of me to do anymore. Although I loved Alec and miraculously, he seemed to reciprocate the same feelings just as much, and we had already had our first night together, I still couldn't come to accept the fact that we both were actually going to share the same room - the same bed - the same everything. It equated to sharing a life together and knowing Alec, he was definitely looking for a while if not forever. A strange feeling of nervousness swept through me all over again. I felt warm and fuzzy and shy. I felt like an infatuated teenager - like a naïve school girl who had fallen for the bad guy. I never considered myself one to have a phobia of commitments, but here I was, split in two minds hoping I could see this through. I sighed and sat at the edge of the bed, my palms covering my face.

I had never done this before. Strange as it might have sounded to any girl my age, I had never been one who had a very active social life or one over who you'd catch boys fawning even as a human. I was a simple, normal geek who loved her books and grades.

To distract myself, I looked around the room - something that I had done time and again in Volterra. My home though, was nothing like the palace. It was only more beautiful, warmer, and more homely. It felt safe and secure. Like always, the doors were of clear glass, sliding open, decorated with rich silk draperies - exactly the ones that I had once told Esme about.

In the middle was situated a huge wooden bed with a beautifully carved head-board. It almost looked like an antique. The bedding was a delightful blend of silk and satin. It was enchanting.

I tore my eyes away to assess the remaining portion of the room. One wall was covered with a huge bookshelf, stalked with innumerable number of books - most of them being classics so old that I couldn't even recollect and many of them also being the works of the present days authors. There was the same acoustic system stationed beside the bookshelf - the one that had been a gift from Edward and Esme, only the number of CDs had increased by a humongous number. It covered a wide range and I was sure it was Rosalie, Edward and Alice's combined effort – this ensemble.

In one corner was a couch along with two small ottomans placed in front of a flat screen TV that hung on the wall. A small coffee table was placed in the centre - which of course would never be used for its purpose, holding a small vase of fresh orchids. I smiled at the nitty-gritty with which Alice had tended to every little detail of this room. She knew exactly my love for orchids.

It was ridiculously perfect!

With a final deep breath, preparing myself, I walked into the closet that was placed on the other side of the room. The ornate smoked glass door opened to give way into another room which was the size of my old room. It was covered with wall-to-wall cupboards each having tinted sliding doors. A wall-to-wall vanity set covered the other wall of the room, and then of course there was the bathroom. In my curiosity I opened the door of the closet and gasped at the variety of attire I found in it. Clearly Alice had gone over board and I was only beginning to realise what a horror it must have been for someone like Bella to be thrown into my situation six years ago!

I ran my hands through the silk gowns that hung down beautifully in all their glory and the cocktail dresses that were extraordinarily beautiful. Then again, there were my most trusted and most craved for denims! It had been so long since I had slipped into one. My body almost craved for it! I shut the door and opened the other side out of curiosity only to find it filled with men's attire. Alice was thorough indeed. It was truly thoughtful of her to stock the house for Alec. I had to thank her in a big way for what she had done. She deserved more than just a thank you. She deserved anything she'd ask me for at that moment - even if that meant a torturous week of shopping in the most bizarre places.

The exhaustion was finally beginning to settle into my tired body. It felt like the years of toil and strain was finally looking for an opening to slip past my guard. I knew what I needed to calm my nerves, only a warm bath would suffice.

Unknowingly I found myself humming a soft unknown tune, which quickly morphed into a song that I had once heard my mother sing. I felt like singing something after a real long time and didn't stop my heart from taking its desired course of action.

The door clicked lightly. I didn't need to think. I knew who it was. His scent was enough to dazzle me. I closed the closet and threw a quick look at myself in the mirror before finally stepping out.

Alec's intense blood red eyes which had once scared me, were now peering into my ochre orbs. His eyes glided smoothly over my body making my stomach churn. The unfamiliar feeling of nervousness, familiarity, warmth was convulsing to form a combustible mixture within me. His eyebrows arched after he had completed his assessment.

'_All this for me?'_ he smirked smugly, stoking his ego himself knowing it would make me laugh. It was one of the reasons why I loved him so much. He always kept me entertained. I chose not to reply and made my way over to him swiftly and gracefully, but before I could, I found myself in his arms, my feet off the ground.

He paralysed me, not physically, but mentally yes. The intoxicating sensation of his luscious lips on mine was enough to leave me paralysed no matter what be the situation. He set me down on the bed as his lips slowly moved to my neck and his firm lean body pressed against my own with gentleness I could never have fathomed.

His hands caressed my collar-bone, trying to soothe the growing tension that was growing within me. His fingers were soon replaced with his smooth hard lips. His adept fingers untied my hair, the curls hanging down on my shoulders. He breathed in my scent nuzzling his face into my hair, making me anxious for him, making me want him like I never had before.

Tonight, everything seemed to be moving in the desired pace that I had always wanted it to. We had tonight to ourselves. We didn't have to think of anyone else. We didn't have to expect Jane's fury the next morning. We didn't have to fear if we satisfied each other for we most definitely did. We didn't even have to think about some one manipulating our feelings! It was a relieving experience for me. I didn't have to be on my guard.

I could love him the way he deserved to be loved.

Make love to him the way he deserved to be made love to.

Complete him the way he deserved to be completed.

I could make him happy; give him the happiness he deserved.

Tonight we were past all the evasions, all the obstacles - tonight it was just the two of us and the stars and the moon - shinning down upon us.

Alec's lean figure hovered over mine and I pushed his coat from his shoulders, tired of seeing the colour black on him, no matter how tantalizingly striking he might have looked in it. He dipped his head into the crook of my neck, trailing soft kisses before finally biting it lightly. This time I couldn't hold the moan that escaped my mouth. I clung to him for dear life, clawing my fingers deeper into his hard impenetrable cold back through his black shirt. A smile played on the corner of his mouth as he continued to assault my neck, knowing fully well how it aroused me. I shivered with pleasure.

My hands became more adventurous. Knowing not where my new-found valour had surface from, I tugged at the collar of his shirt as he pulled away, teasingly. My skin groaned at the loss of his contact while my eyes rejoiced at the sight of his glorious features. When my eyes settled on his full lips and he understood my intentions which didn't need clarification. It didn't take him long to capture them with his own.

I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt getting restless. When I knew I couldn't wait anymore, I ripped it open causing the buttons to break and splatter on the ground. He chuckled at my haste. Soon his shirts had joined his coat and the buttons on the floor and were replaced by my hands tracing his toned abdomen muscles and his magnificent chest. Any woman would have fought to be in my position, to admire the sight of a shirtless Alec - nothing looked more tempting. But he was all mine!

Of course, I should have known I was testing his patience beyond the limit and he'd snap soon causing my single handed gallantry to end - taking full control, which suited me just fine. I wasn't wrong for that was exactly what happened.

He took my lower lip between his teeth and bit it lightly before releasing it and tugged at the hem of my ivory dress. I could feel his hands caress my thighs, teasing me, waiting for the moment he knew I'd ask for more. Annoyed at his constant teasing my back involuntarily arched towards him, forcing contact, acting of its own volition, begging for more.

He pulled away for a second to look into my eyes. I realised that both our eyes had grown dark with lust and if I didn't take him soon, I'd probably go insane. With much haste I pulled his lips down to my neck as I heard him almost growl and rip the last pieces of fabric off my body.

His lips were passionate, furious, demanding and everything I hadn't been expecting. He played with my body as if it was an instrument and he - the perfect prodigy. He knew exactly where to touch, exactly where to kiss, exactly when to stop and exactly when to keep going. He was an avid lover.

Through out the night, he kept nibbling at every inch of my exposed flesh and made me moan his name in pleasure over and over again.

Through out the night, he made me feel like I was the most special thing to ever have been created by the heavens above.

Through out the night, he kept pleasuring me to the extent that it made me forget my name.

This was what it felt like to be irrevocably in love. This was the love that people wrote about. This was the love that was spoken so highly of. I could now understand the emotion that coursed through people when they looked at each other with longing eyes.

We lay in each other's comfortable company, exhausted from after have been overcome by our throes of passion. His agile fingers traced an unknown pattern on the supple skin of my waist. Every now and then he'd plant a chaste kiss on my hair and everytime I'd snuggle against his firm body further.

"And you said, you _**guess**_ you're with me?" I reminded him of the words he'd uttered before.

He chuckled at my childlike behaviour, "_Chi ha l'amor nel petto, ha lo sprone a'fianchi_." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist diminishing the space between us. I smiled at his words; they seemed to be of a different era - an era that he belonged to. I hadn't been very adept at learning Italian despite having spent three years in Volterra. He had been well aware of it.

"Alec..." He didn't need my words to understand that I hadn't understood and explained patiently.

"He who has love in his chest, has spurs in his sides." He sighed.

"So, I'll take the feigned apathy to be spurs." I concluded, he chuckled in agreement.

I liked this. It felt nice to simply lie in his arms and think of nothing and everything. I turned around and kissed him lightly on his chest which seemed to stir him. This was all I had wished for - all and more, much more.

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><p><em><strong>I really hope many of you weren't averse to the theme of this chapter. I tried my level best to keep it to the Fiction - T rating.<strong>_

_**I'd love to hear from you. **_

_**Also - am I being ambitious if I ask you to help me reach the golden number 100 with reviews for this chapter? **_

_**Please tell me I am not. :)**_


	26. Compromise

_I want to take a moment here to thank all of you. This story has finally reached 100+ reviews. I've only waited too long for that milestone and I owe it too all the readers of this story. _

_Thank you so very much for the support and sharing your love. I hope it continues to live up to your expectations!_

_Shout outs for all of you! -_

_**Andrea71, MayaMee, Stars-In-The-Eyes** - Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing. I do value your opinions very much, please do keep reviewing! :)_

_**NagasMyth** - Thank you so much for the feedback. I honestly do hope the wedding goes smoothly, but maybe I would also want to test how strong their relationship is before they make the final leap. Good Idea?_

_**you can try but you will fail** - I am so very sorry that this chapter doesn't promise the humor that you're expecting, but be assured that its coming soon! _

_**CritiqueOfReason** - Thank you so very much for that fangirl shout out! Haha! Its very generous of you. And you are such an amazing reviewer. I hope more authors on here have reviewers like you. I loved the way you compared my two stories and the contrasts. It puzzles me too, how I manage to write them and honestly it is very tough. But without all the help I'm getting from everyone in any and every form it won't be possible. So, do keep the reviews and feedbacks keep coming!_

_**Meisyree** - You know you kind of gave me a mild heart attack when you told me you weren't happy with the story. But when I did proceed to read your entire review I was more than glad! Thank you so very much for appreciating my writing and this story. I only hope I keep living up to your expectations! And I really look forward to reading your reviews!_

_**Siriusly Goode, claire3loves3music, NicoleSalvatore1918, musicluver246** - Thank you so much for reading my story with such enthusiasm and for reviewing which helped me reach the 100 review mark. I really look forward to hear from you!_

_**54SecondsOfGlory** - Thank you so much for the feedback! It feels very nice to be appreciated. I am more of the person who writes for Fiction rated M too and trust me I was a nervous wreck writing this one and really hoped I didn't go overboard. I'm glad I kept it in the limits! And oh yes - Action, THAT is VERTAINLY coming up! Wait and watch! (And review ofcourse :P)_

_**Luna** - I am so so glad I waited till you reviewed. I kind of missed your review when I didn't see one. Thank you for your encouraging words. I hold some of my reviewers close to my heart and even a simple "good job" from them can make me too happy and content. You're one of them! Glad you liked the chapter! I hope you like this one too :)_

_Now everyone,_

_Happy Reading!_

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><p><em>"For afterall, the best thing that one can do when it is raining is let it rain."<strong> - Henry Wordsworth Longfellow.<strong>_

_**CHAPTER 24:**_

_**CLARISSA [POV]**_

We were shaken out of our state of trance by angry thudding of footsteps on the floor below. Alec looked at me suspecting the strangeness of the unprecedented intrusion. I however knew the cause and knew that sooner or later I had to face the wrath of Jacob Black. We hurriedly dressed ourselves and descended the stairs.

At the entrance of the house stood a fuming Jacob Black.

"Whatever got into you for allowing that bloodsucker in?" He yelled at Carlisle.

"We know what we're doing mutt." Rosalie bit back in anger. Clearly they were engaged in a war of words. Jacob's eyes narrowed at me the moment I made myself known.

"You can't stay here." He snarled at me angrily. "I won't let Renesmee walk into this place as long as she is here." His angry gaze was now directed at everyone.

"You don't get to decide that." Everyone turned to look at me a bit hesitant. I looked in vain for Edward, hoping that he'd probably come to my aid at this time of need, but he was nowhere to be found.

"I do." Jacob muttered. "Renesmee is _mine_ and I won't think twice if there is _any_ kind of threat to her life." Her finished menacingly.

"Renesmee is not a possession Jacob Black." I marched forward, fuming at his arrogance. Agreed we had never been on friendly terms, or even remotely amiable terms. Our relation was one of uncomfortable tolerance. "I am a part of her life Jacob and you've got to accept that." His trembling form was intimidating, but I had learned to mask my emotions a long time ago. He was shaking with anger, a growl eliciting from the pits of his stomach and he stepped back unsteadily. I was taken aback momentarily, not being able to comprehend what was happening before my eyes.

I watched with panic, as the golden-brown complexioned man morphed into a huge brown wolf, bearing its teeth at me. Alec seemed to have apprehended the imminent danger for his protective presence before took me by surprise. He crouched, ready for combat at the menacing brown wolf. "Touch her and I will shred you to pieces." He hissed.

Alec's warning hadn't brought about the desired effect. I watched panic stricken as the brown wolf charged ferociously towards Alec. My feet did not move; it all seemed like a nightmare to me. I was hoping that I was dreaming. The wolf sprung at Alec and in a matter of a few seconds they were both out of sight.

In the distance I could hear the shrill cry of a lone wolf.

"Alec!" I was petrified as I darted in the direction of the sound. My sight rested at the pouncing wolf as Alec swiftly dodged it time and time again, delivering his blows when least expected. I headed towards him and abruptly, found my senses paralyzed. I couldn't see, couldn't touch, couldn't hear... I panicked further, not knowing which direction my feet were taking me. I knew I was being incredibly dim-witted, but I couldn't be a spectator to this battle of might.

Moments later, I found myself wrapped in a pair of secure arms. The scent was only too familiar. "You could have died." Alec's outraged voice felt like music to my ears. My vision was slowly recuperating as I saw the black mist in the woods around me.

"You're fine." I couldn't help but trace my fingers on his face, too afraid that I might have lost him. "You're fine..." He held my gaze, cupping my face in his firm hands.

"Clarissa, look at me." His voice was smooth, calm and always in control. I closed my eyes and simply shook my head still waiting to digest that which had just transpired. "Look at me." He pressed his case and I slowly let my eyelids assess him, afraid he might have been hurt.

"I'm here." He whispered and without bothering to think what it might have meant, if it made the situation more complicated than before, if this meant that we would be together, I wrapped my arms around him, too afraid that he might crumble into pieces if I let him go. He didn't show any resistance, only mildly patting my hair, knowing that a wave of hysterics would soon take over me.

"Claire..." I finally heard Edward emerge from the corner of the woods. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to see anyone at that instant. I snuggled deeper into Alec, trying to remain oblivious of their presence. Alec understood my disposition.

As the dried leaves crumbled under Edward's feet, Alec held up his hand in restraint. "She doesn't want to talk to you."

"Claire... let us explain..." it was Bella this time. I was beginning to get annoyed, my breathing uneven as I tried to calm my nerves.

"You've done enough." Alec muttered sarcastically. "I'll take care of her now." Carrying me in his arms, he sped in a direction unknown to either of us. I let my head rest on his definite shoulders, the gentle breeze playing with my messy unkempt hair.

"Clarissa." It wasn't until Alec had said my name that I realized he had stopped running. I simply looked at his face, not knowing how I should react. He seemed to understand my stunned temperament and without questioning carefully rested me under one of the large-canopied trees. We sat in each other's company in complete silence for a while, neither knowing what to speak.

I was the first to break the awkward silence engulfing us, "I feel betrayed." My voice sounded almost emotionless, almost. "I know." He said softly. I wondered if he really knew or if he was simply speaking in order to comfort me. I didn't know if I should have been grateful or if I should have been offended.

The episode that had elapsed not more than a few minutes before had broken me. It seemed strange really. I thought I was strong. After all, I had endured what the Volturi had put me through. I thought I could endure anything and with Alec by my side, I had felt invincible. But the prospect of losing Alec today was freighting. It upset me that those I called family hadn't come to my aid when I most needed them.

I felt cheated. Maybe I was being unreasonable; but I was livid. I couldn't help but wonder why no one had shown so much as an inclination to even offer their help. They stood there, watching. It felt as if everything had changed, that I was trying to pick up the pieces that were already too scrambled.

"We can't stay here." I softly muttered and it seemed to have taken Alec aback. "You're too emotional right now." He supplied, nonchalant.

My temper was beginning to flare. I was being overly sensitive. "I'm serious Alec. I made a mistake."

His eyebrows furrowed with a displeased frown. "You're giving up." He looked at me, accusing, incredulously.

"I am not." I argued, not believing a single word of my argument.

"Look at yourself. You've come so far and you're giving up?" He repeated again.

"I can't lose you Alec." I began, hesitantly. We never had spoken on such intimate levels before. "And I'm living in a place where you are unwelcome."

"Clarissa... You've come too far. You can't turn back now." He didn't look at me. Instead, chose a distant spot, as if he was contemplating. When I read his thoughts, I felt a pang of guilt course through my body. I had forced him to leave his sister behind for me and here I was, unsure if I had made the right choice. I was conflicted.

"What are we going to do Alec?" I leaned against him, not knowing what the future held in store for us.

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><p>The house by the side of the river was engulfed with stunned silence as it appeared before us. As much as effort Alec might have put into lightening my pained mood through the day, I could still feel nervousness begin to seep into my pores.<p>

"Come." Alec held my hand, smiling at me as if he was confident of the outcome. I felt momentarily relaxed. His confidence or the excess of it rather, was definitely contagious.

All activity ceased as we stepped on the porch. I tried to shake the anxiety off my body.

"Claire..." Edward attempted weakly to gain my attention. He was successful.

"Edward." I knew he could see how hurt I was, I knew he could understand what I was feeling.

"I'm done fighting." I sighed, exasperated. "I'm done fighting and... honestly, I know I shouldn't expect miracles in a day but, it doesn't seem particularly... gratifying." Jasper's expressions were pained. Rose tried hard to mask her edginess and Emmett appeared to have been irritable.

"I tried you know... I tried very hard to remain positive. I hoped like a fool that... things would comfortably settle; that you'd in due course come to accept me and Alec." They remained silent and it gave me courage to continue, fidgeting nervously with my fingers. "But maybe I was wrong..."

"Claire, darling..." I was interrupted by what seemed a deeply moved Carlisle.

"Carlisle, let me complete... please." It was hard for me to collect myself. Alec urged me to carry on, knowing that this was my war to win. "Maybe I was wrong to expect that I could pick up the pieces where I'd left them. I should have known better. I know Alec is not very welcome and that you have reason to feel... the way you do." I was struggling for words. Even as a human, I hadn't been very good with them and my years with the Volturi had most definitely limited my freedom of speech and expression.

"Alec is a part of my life now. It has taken a lot from both of us... to get where we are today. It hasn't been easy for him, or me. I don't want to beg anymore. So... if you'll have us, we're here. If not – "

"Claire, stop." Before I could complete my sentence, I found Jasper standing before me. He was smiling kindly and instantaneously I felt like there was hope. Edward approached cautiously, not once looking me in the eye, "We were... wondering what to say to you..." A hopeful smile was beginning to form on Alice's lips.

"I failed you... as a brother." His eyes expressed his unspoken words. "I should have been more supportive." My heart was growing weak, my human like emotions failing my otherwise steady conviction. But I was determined not to succumb to them this time. I looked him in the eye and nodded, acknowledging what he was trying to say.

His eyes fell to the ground and I soon notice his form shift in Alec's direction. "If you ever... fail her... or–" his voice was pained making Alec smirk. "I've never failed her." He replied with extraordinary confidence. Walking at a usual pace, he stood beside me, his intense red eyes probing mine, making me believe. "I _will_ never fail her." He smiled at me, his fingers intertwined with my own, before he looked at the sceptical faces of the others present.

Carlisle smiled appreciatively and Esme's glowing one followed soon.

I breathed a sigh of relief. My years of struggle seemed to be in their final days and I couldn't wait for it to pass.

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><p><em><strong>Reviews are always, always welcome! :)<strong>_


	27. Permanence

**_Author's Note:_**

_Dear all,_

_Words escape me when I think of expressing my gratitude to each and every one of you who has helped me write and inspired me time and time and time again to keep this story going. It has been a very tough couple of months for me and much has elapsed since I first started writing this story. I have grown as a person and a writer and I can see the marked difference. I owe it to all my lovely followers, reviewers and friends I have had the opportunity to make by way of my writing. _

_**NagasMyth** and **Luna Cain7** - This ones for you guys._

_I take this moment to thank **NicoleSalvatore1918, Araluan, StarlightShivers, CharmSparks11833, Kristina Mikaelson, Julia, daydreamer0001, I Love Choco Monster, , rachemma, 54SecondsOfGlory, RoadwayFox, CritiqueOfReason, Cassie-D 101, Meisyree, OmgitsBlondie, AyaAndKarou12321**_

_Happy Reading! :)_

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><p><em>Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. <strong>-Oscar Wilde<strong>_

_**CHAPTER 25:**_

_**Clarissa [POV]**_

A month had passed and we had continued to enjoy our bubble of bliss. Alec had grown accustomed to the unusual ways of the Cullens and no longer made faces when they went hunting. The witty remarks and friendly taunts could never be countered though.

As was customary, Edward had been rather apprehensive at first and so had Emmett. However, as wise men had once stated, time indeed proved to be a healer. They had settled into peaceful coexistence with one another. Edward had even invited Alec to duel him in a game of chess, one sharp mind matching the other.

Alec's trained mind had proved difficult for Edward to read. It didn't help his case both that his wife was shielding Alec's every move and he felt slightly betrayed. Jasper had taken to teasing him at every opportune moment he had. These were the moments that had been missed. This was what I had fought so hard for.

Now that I was home, I had firmly decided that I would continue my education although it was still hard for me to decide what I truly wanted to do with my immortal life. I felt myself changing slowly and steadily. My guard had given way to suppressed emotions as Rosalie, Esme and I put together a meal for Renesmee every evening and I took to convincing the petulant beauty.

Renesmee had grown to be a beautiful young girl. She was soon to graduate High School and every other boy had his eyes for her. She however had long pledged her heart and hate Jacob Black I might, I was happy for my niece. She had grown to be a beautiful person, groomed and cultured with the niceties of every member of the Cullen family.

Strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer as I leaned against the frame of the glass door watching Renesmee eat and recapture an interesting tale of high school drama. I smiled knowingly and leaned into him as he lightly pressed his cold lips onto mine. "I could get used to this…" I whispered happily, eyes still closed and Alec chuckled pressing another chaste kiss onto my lips.

"I am irresistible, aren't I?" he smirked at me and just like that, he had ruined the remotely romantic moment we might have shared. I couldn't help laugh at his narcissism. His fingers traced the small hollows under my eyes and a frown replaced his infectious smirk.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned. In the periphery of my vision I watched as Carlisle turned slightly in our direction, knowledge and concern covering his wise face. My concentration however was centered on Alec alone.

"You haven't fed." He stated simply, confused as his beautiful red eyes analyzed the purple rings that had begun to form. Carlisle and Rosalie along with Alice and Emmett had tried to persuade me time and time again to hunt but I had been reluctant, afraid to miss even a single moment I had the chance of spending with my precious niece. My nights had no longer been idle, and I no longer lonely. I hadn't hunted in more than a week and half and it was beginning to show.

I began to protest, but Alec would hear nothing of it. "I'm fine." I argued nonetheless. He knew I was stubborn and he knew better than to argue with me. He also knew what to say to make me listen.

Arching an eyebrow he turned his head towards the young girl sitting at the table with Rosalie and Esme, finishing the remainder of her meal. "You won't be in a few days." He eyed me cautiously as my gaze followed his. I sighed understandingly without any hesitation and he knew he had won.

Little to my realization, Bella had lowered her shield and I heard her smooth voice. _'She's tired and will be in bed sooner than you know.' _I looked at her skeptically as she continued to sit with her husband at the piano. Edward was a picture of tranquility. She smiled at me and then shifted her focus at Alec who was looking outside the glass window into the darkness.

'_Go.' _She urged. _'He needs you.'_ I didn't need any more persuasion or reminder. Walking over to him I placed my hand on his shoulder and a triumphant smirk covered his angelic face. Words had only ever been for amusement in the relationship we shared. His eyes however held a distant glimmer in them and if I hadn't known better, I would have never known that Alec was in a rather pensive mood. As I delved further, I could only see Jane.

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><p>There was little haste to be made as we walked together, hand in hand like old days through the forest. Only, this time we didn't need to hide anymore. This time, each knew what the other held dear in their heart.<p>

"Where are you taking me?" I asked Alec slightly confused for I hadn't taken to much exploration and had preferred to render myself immobile. He uttered not a word though and continued on the path he had pre-determined.

"Alec?" I tried again after a few minutes when he said nothing. He chose to reveal his intentions through his actions once again, as he had done so many times in the past.

His lips covered mine, cajoling me for an opening as his hands held my waist firmly. Involuntarily, my hands found their customary position at the nape of his neck and I reciprocated his passion equally.

The sound of light footfalls distracted me however as my senses quickly caught the scent of my prey. Alec noticed my distraction and contentedly let go off me at once.

There at a distance were a pack of deer, light on their feet splashing water with every movement they made by the small water body that the moon shone over. Momentarily I looked at Alec who stared at me like he always had even when we accompanied me to my hunting trips in Volterra. Little had changed as he nodded in encouragement at me and I promised to him without gestures that I would make it quick.

Alec waited patiently for me as I fed to my satisfaction. He seemed to be rather somber and I didn't want to pick on his thoughts, invade his privacy. I was unsure of the thoughts that coursed through his mind but keen to know what troubled him so. He continued to look far away as I made my way towards him knowing he could sense my presence. Finally I made myself comfortable at the nearby boulder and sighed, hoping to catch his attention.

I was successful.

What I saw as he turned to look at me, stirred within me a feeling I had never felt before. His red eyes were a sea of a thousand emotions and it was what had him vexed. He looked old. I felt my heart break.

"Hey…" I broke the silence, my voice cracking and heavy with emotion much to my surprise. My fingers found his and comfortably intertwined in his firm grip as he pulled me close to himself.

"Jane was barely six months old when she uttered her first word." Words escaped his mouth abruptly and I knew not how to respond so I did what I thought was best. I eased into his chest, urging him to go on. "She was a quick learner, a clever one at that." He chuckled, reminiscing the pranks he had tried on her in youthful innocence and the consequences thereof. I felt his sturdy frame shake with light laughter and for some strange reason, I felt happy too. Abruptly, his demeanor turned somber again and his frame stiffened.

"She was only eight when she claimed her first victim." His voice was a serious monotone. "They called her cursed." He laughed sardonically. "We were both cursed." He slightly shook his head in sadness as I pulled his arms tighter around myself, making him believe that I was still there, that I wasn't leaving.

"It was Aro who came to her rescue that night as I watched hopelessly while they carried away my sister on a stake."

Never before had I cursed my talent to the extent I did at that moment for I could hear every single word that was spoken that night, perceive every single emotion, hear every single cry of a young Jane and smell the blood dripping from the forehead of the young Alec. A long moment of silence passed between us.

"That was the batter I made with Aro." He concluded. "For him to keep Jane safe in return for my services." A chilling fright ran through my spine as I contemplated what Alec had risked, what he had forsaken to be with me.

"Jane worshiped Aro though." He continued. "And Aro was far more cunning than anyone could have ever fathomed. He left no stone unturned to gain Jane's affections only to gain assurance that Jane would voluntarily give herself over to him." I wanted to comfort him, but words fell short of what I truly felt, they seemed too trivial.

"And she did." He sighed, looking once more at the bright full moon that hung low in the sky that night. I felt his frustration, his despair, his pain, but most of all, I felt his affection and hope.

"We'll get her back." I reassured him, not knowing how true my words were but hoping that there was still a way to give Alec the sister he had lost so many years ago. Surprised by the resolve in my words, his eyes bore into mine searching for honesty and hope. Surely he must have found what he was looking for, for the rest of the night passed in a frenzied blur once his lips descended on mine and there was little need for any fabric separating us.

We were slowly and steadily moving towards permanency and for once, I was not scared.

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><p><em><strong>Please review. You know how very dear they are to me! :)<strong>_


	28. A Simple Proposal

_Hello everyone!_

_I know I have more disappointed you all by keeping you waiting for so long. I believe I can't be apologetic enough but University really is taking a toll as days of graduation come nearer and nearer. I do have a new chapter for everyone though. Forgive any grammatical errors or factual errors if you do come across them. I haven't had the time to proof read and I might be a little rusty, writing after such a prolonged break. _

_Once again, I can't be thankful enough to every single one of you for reviewing, it warms my heart beyond words to know I can produce a piece of work that is being enjoyed by such a lovely bunch of people. I look forward to all of them with an eager heart._

_Do read and enjoy!_

_Much love,_

_Arnavi._

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><p>"<em>Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." – <em>_**Rabindranath Tagore.**_

_**CHAPTER 26:**_

_**Clarrisa [POV]**_

It was early spring of the New Year, a time that perfectly relatable to my disposition – hopeful and positive. The Denalis who has long been our closest friends, allies and nearly extended family had been kind to invite us to spend New Year's together. It was unexpected, nonetheless extremely comforting that they chose to trust the judgment of Carlisle and his family and had graciously accepted Alec into their affection. Eleazar particularly had taken efforts to bond with Alec and after nearly two months, the two men had definitely begotten eachother's trust and respect.

I was happy that Alec had the opportunity to live again. He had been deprived of so much, for so long and seeing him now, in the midst of a laughing family warmed my heart. His thoughts were solemn; he almost seemed to be at peace with himself. Jasper and Alec always got along famously for there was something akin to the Southern gentlemanly charm that he could relate to in Alec.

Amidst other things, we were welcomed with the pleasant news of Kate and Garrett's decision of being joined in matrimony. It was evident from their dispositions that they both made eachother very happy. Garrett had always been a man of easy lifestyle and it was no surprise that he had charmed his way into the very cynical life of Katrina Denali. Kate had always been the high-strung, skeptical and level headed among all her siblings. In Garrett's presence however, she was a completely different person. She giggled, there was an ever present spark in her eyes and she certainly looked extremely content. It appeared as if she had finally found her anchor in the world of the living.

As I watched them huddled together on a white chaise discussing about the formation of stars, I couldn't help but think that they made a lovely couple. The fact that they had decided to cement their relationship even under human custom and belong to eachother in every way made me wonder. I longed for a relation that was so permanent. At that instant, I was surprised that I could still remember the face of my parents. They had found eachother relatively late in life, but their life was nothing short of blissful.

Shaking the disconcerting thoughts aside, I decided to join the ladies who seemed to be obsessing over the beautiful wedding gown that Alice had designed for Kate. I marveled at the feel of the soft satin against my skin. I was rather thoughtful, never having thought of weddings before and I couldn't fathom why it mattered to me so very much at this stage. I was afraid to voice my thoughts however, embarrassed that my unusual feminine side would get the best of me and make me the butt of all of Emmett's jokes.

Alec spoke to Carlisle, Jasper and Eleazar in the room adjacent and I couldn't help but notice the deep texture of his voice, picturize the words that rolled off his tongue, the expressions that might have floated through his face and the determination in his eyes.

"Claire?" Alice clicked her fingers in front of my eyes shaking me out of my reverie. I jumped slightly.

"Y-Yes?"

"You weren't listening, were you?" she gave me a pseudo disappointed look which almost made me laugh but I only smiled sheepishly.

"Are you alright? Because you look a little zoned out." Bella pointed out.

I didn't know how to answer; it was true that I wasn't feeling quite like myself. I merely nodded. "I think I'll take a walk." I said, and excused myself. I really needed to clear my head.

The breeze that blew that night was comforting. It felt marvelous to tread lightly over the grass that passed under my feet. I was most certainly enjoying myself, forgetting the last few years, feeling human again. In my excitement and absent-mindedness, I lost my footing and fell on my face. It made me feel foolish and a delighted laughter passed through me but I quickly rolled over and stared at the night sky.

"Having fun little sister?" Edward's eyes shone of amusement.

"Edward!" I smiled when he joined me on the grass as we sat like daft punk kids with our legs wide apart. He looked at me intently for a couple of seconds before looking into the glen stretched out before us.

"What does it feel like?" I asked, the words slipping out of my mouth before I could even think. "To be married. What's it like?"

Even if he was slightly taken aback by my untimely question, he didn't let it show. He was silent for a while before speaking, "It gives you a purpose, a sense of belonging." From the faint smile that covered his lips, I knew he was only thinking of Bella and their daughter and his devoted love for the family that he had created. He sighed, not knowing what to say, only letting the feeling course through him. "Even for being articulate as I am, I cannot put it in words Claire." He muttered finally. He knew I needed no words. We always understood eachother and I was glad to know some things would never change.

"He makes you happy, doesn't he Claire?" Edward asked thoughtfully, his arm slung around my shoulders in a calloused fashion.

"He does." I affirmed. Alec made me happy and so much more. Being with him had changed me so thoroughly, I had never contemplated before.

"You've grown." Edward smiled knowing the direction of my thoughts. "You make me proud Clarissa." My heart was swelling with emotion.

"When I see you now, I don't see the defiant scared girl we rescued that night. I see a confident woman who has learned wisdom and wit through all the experiences that life has put you through." I wrapped my arm around him and leaned into his comforting embrace as he ruffled my hair and laid a chaste kiss on my head.

"I love you kiddo." He muttered and I hugged him tighter.

A couple of hours later when Edward had left, I found myself still sitting at the little glen I had found the previous night. It was only minutes away from dawn. A pair of hands snaked around my torso and a chaste kisses covered the length of my neck. At that very instant, I was purely guided with want and need as I turned and pressed my lips to Alec's and he chuckled. The sound of his throaty laugh only made me want him more. I pushed him to the bed of grass forcefully and he seemed comfortable to completely give me free reign.

The taste of his lips and mischief that was his tongue knew how to give as well as take pleasure in equal parts. As I hovered over him, his hands stroked the curve of my waist and hips soothingly, as he was memorizing the shape of my body. He was relaxed, unfazed even when he bit into my lower lip making me moan embarrassingly loudly.

Taking advantage of my vulnerable state and my induced distraction, he flipped us over and his fingers deftly lifted the hem of my shirt, bringing it to rest just below my chest. His soft hair tickled against the sensitive skin of my stomach and yet another giggle escaped my mouth. He smirked at my childlike behavior as we lay on the damn grass, just happy in each other's presence, my fingers running through his smooth hair as his fingers traced strange patterns on my stomach with an occasional chaste kiss.

"Is it always like this?" he asked after a while.

"What is?" I knew what he was implying, but the answer to it was just as much a mystery to me as it was to him.

"This… longing, this need, the emotions and sensation that even a single touch can invoke." He explained. It wasn't like Alec to word his confusion. He considered it to be a sign of weakness, not knowing. I was glad he thought me capable to understand his turmoil.

"I feel it too. Every second of every moment I exist."

"I have something for you." His voice was unsure, and if I didn't know him better I wouldn't have caught the slight glitch in his throat. He helped me sit, pulling me against his shoulder and handed me a round parchment case. I looked at him confused.

"Open it." I did as I was instructed rather keenly and was awed at what lay before me.

A girl with brown hair and streaks of red sat in a glen, her eyes sparkling, her hair wild, her face glowing, her lips slightly curving in a smile and a small tinge of pink coloring her cheek sat on a hill watching the clouds in the sunset. She was by no means at rest, but she looked hopeful.

"You are the light of my life." Alec whispered softly into my ear distracting me from my careful analysis. I turned to look at him with tearful eyes, feeling too beset and his smile only grew, warm and so giving. There however was yet another detail that I seemed to have missed. I was asked to look into the case once more. Something rattled within it and I emptied its contents onto my palm.

A beautiful diamond encrusted wedding band shone against the pale hue of the rising sun. Alec shifted and I looked at him expectantly, not knowing what was coming next.

His jaw flexed as he prepared himself and he attempted to clear his throat, "for all that is pure… and good… in this world, for all that is true and just, I would be ever grateful… if you would do me the honor of being my wife."

I couldn't fathom ways to react. I felt light headed and giddy at the rush of emotions that suddenly took over me and never in a thousand years had I ever thought that an emotion so strong could exist.

When I sat there, staring at him with tearful eyes, he grew worried. Softly, taking his hands in mine, he whispered, _"Marry me, il mio amore."_

And that was all that needed to be said. I had never know I could love more than I already did, but at that instant my love was all consuming, enlightening and satisfying. I hugged him, pressing my lips with his with a passion so strong that left me completely drained and him thoroughly satiated.

As he slid the beautiful string of diamonds on my finger, he quoted a couplet that I had always loved and he had remembered. He murmured in my ear,

"_My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, both are infinite."_

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><p><strong><em>I anxiously await your reviews! :)<em>**


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